The English player

022

Very short one as glue xoxo

"Harry?" Louis whispers when the boy next to him hasn't said a word yet. "I'm sorry okay. I know I'm a horrible person I am so fucking sorry about everything but..."

Harry shuts Louis up by hugging him closely, pushing Louis against his body.

"He should have never done that to you, Lou." Harry whispers in Louis' hair. "He should have never given you that option on the age of 18."

Louis buries his head in the crook of Harry's neck.

"I'm stuck, Harry. I love footie, I swear I do, but my life is gone. I just want... I want you Harry and I feel so selfish."

"It's okay, Lou." Harry coos, stroking Louis' back. "It's okay, I'm here."

Louis looks up, his blue teary eyes connecting with Harry's green ones.

"Aren't you mad at me? Don't you hate me? Think I'm disgusting? Because that's how I feel about myself..." Louis' lip is trembling. Harry wipes away a tear with his thumb and kisses Louis' forehead.

"You made the choice that everybody with ambition and a dream would have made, Louis."

"My mom was struggling financially, I was failing school, I thought it was the only option." Louis' sobs. "Do you know how fucking bad I feel for being here? Knowing that the only fucking reason I'm here is because I date Eleanor? I feel like a manwhore, Harry. I feel like a fucking prostitute and I have been wanting to stop this after a few months already but I can't, I fucking can't because I don't have the money yet to buy myself out of the contract. I didn't finish university and I'll never manage to get a diploma. I'm not good enough for any club to want me and..."

"Stop it, Louis!" Harry snaps. "Stop talking yourself down. You made wrong decisions but that doesn't make you a bad person, baby. You are sweet and smart and you made me fall for you so quickly because you are you. You are a great player, the reason why England got through. Stop talking yourself down, Louis because you are so fucking awesome." Harr smiles through his tears as he holds Louis' head between his hands.

"I will never be able to make you happy the way you deserve, Haz." Louis whispers. "You deserve the whole fucking world and not a closeted football player that dates his friend because of a contract. I want to give you everything you want, Harry but I know that I'll only give you misery. That's the only thing I do to people anyway. Mom lost all the money she spent on college to me because I'm too stupid, I'm using one of my best friends for my fucking career, hell I even made my dad leave because of my fucking birth!"

And Harry can't stand Louis talking bad about himself. Because yes, Louis made a horrible decision. Signing that contract betrayed his best friend, but it doesn't make Louis a bad person.

"I'm so in love with you, Louis Tomlinson." Harry whispers. "I am so fucking much in love with you, baby. I'll help you out of that contract and I'm sure that we can find a new football club together. You'll be okay, sweety. You are amazing. We got this, okay?"

"I'm so sorry..." Louis whimpers. "I am so fucking sorry. I never meant to pull you into my mess, Harry but again I'm too selfish to just let you go. I'm fucking selfish, god I hate myself."

"You are going to skip training." Harry says. "I'm taking you to my room, we're going tot talk, cuddle you and you need rest. Come on."

Louis doesn't react. He is without energy. Things he has been buckling up inside, are finally coming out. Louis never felt comfortable about the contract, but for him it was a way to help his mother and sisters. Louis would sacrifice anything for his family.

He feels Harry's arms around his body, pushing him further and a few minutes later he can feel his body falling on a soft mattress.

"I just texted Zayn to tell your trainer you are sick." Harry says, putting Louis' head on his lap and playing with his hair. "You should rest now, Lou. Sleep a bit, and we'll talk more okay? We'll be fine, you'll be fine, I'll make sure of that..."