He's Worth It ~ Lams (COMPLETE)

Day Six

EEP I can't believe it's already almost over-

edited

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I wake up slowly, taking in the cold of the winter and the close proximity of him and I. We're lucky that we get to share a room. With the war, there's always a General or Captain visiting, and that means rooms get switched. We've had this room for a few weeks, and I couldn't ask for a better arrangement. I always wake up before him, simply so I can get more work done, but I love looking at him while he sleeps. His blonde hair is scattered around the pillow we share, creating a honey-colored halo around his features. I would stare at him for all eternity if I was able to.

He stirs from his position and turns to me with sleepy eyes. I lay my head back on the pillow, inches away from his. He smiles and tilts his head so that our foreheads are touching.

"Good morning, my Alexander," He says slowly, with that kind of voice that can melt hearts. He's already got mine.

"Good morning, Dearest," I answer with a smile. There's still no sun to warm our tiny space, so we huddle together with what little clothes we have on. Blankets are sparse, and with the amount of men we have, there's little extra to spare.

'What is there to do today?" He says, sitting up and stretching. He wraps his bare arms around his chest to warm him up and I place my own arms around his shoulders.

"Well, for one, a war," I say, and he lets out quite the ungentlemanly snort.

"You are quite correct," He answers. We both stand up and get on our outfits, which are much more suited to the weather than what we wore before. I tie back his hair with a ribbon and he does the same for me.

"How I wish we could stay like this, Jack." I say as I tie his cravat, adjusting it to a tea and leaving my hand on his chest. He shifts in his position and takes my cheeks in his hands.

"I know, Alex. We have our duties to attend to, I'm afraid," He says, placing his lips on mine for a quick kiss before we have to leave and start on the day's tasks. Everything is so much more simple when it's just me and him. I can't help but smile into the taste of his lips. I relish the morning more than anything, because it's one of the only times we have to ourselves.

He pulls away and I sigh. "Are you ready, Hamilton?" He asks, my last name in his voice a harrowing punishment. Back to formality.

I adjust my coat on my shoulders and smile. "Only if you are, Laurens."

I step out of our room, but when I do, I'm no longer in the General's house. I'm standing at the edge of a port... back in St. Croix. I'm staring at something in the distance. It's two figures. They remind me a lot of, well, John and I, but that John looks nothing like the blonde beauty I left in our bedroom. I squint my eyes to get a better look. That Alexander isn't really me either. But they're together, out in the open for all to see. No one cares. Now that would be a dream.

I step forward, because like hell I want what they have, but I lose my footing and fall into the Caribbean waters.

I wake up with a gasp. It feels like there's water in my lungs, but when I cough, nothing comes out. I glance at my phone for the time and see it's only four in the morning. Of course it is. That dream felt so real, and for once, it's a dream that I'm sure to remember. Sadly.

I look down at my hands and squeeze my fingernails into my palms. I just have to stay grounded. The marks that my nails make on my skin almost satisfy me, and after a minute, I let go. I let out a breath and lay back down on my side almost robotically. I don't want to dream anymore, but I went to bed late finishing the christmas decorating of the living room and kitchen. My fingers have been itching to play music the entire time; the deafening silence hurts my head. It's easier to not listen to music when I'm around other people, because their voices are songs of their own. When I'm alone, however, there's nothing to stop myself from wandering down paths that lead to dark thoughts.