My Last Name is Payne, so What do You Think?!?! (One Direction Fanfiction)

Inner Monolauges

Hello my crazy rainbow unicorns,

I just wanted to let you know that this my first fanfic EVER, I think its going to be good but sorry if it isn't and Im sorry if the chapters I write are shortit's just that I'm always on the go so I will always be writing my stories on my iPhone and I can't tell how long it is on my iPhone so........... CARROT CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I'm always randomly shouting things so now I will be randomly write-shouting things!!!! BUT I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MY CRAZINESS, SO IF YOU CHOOSE TO READ THIS BOOK AND OTHER STORIES I MIGHT WRITE IN THE FUTURE YOU'VE GOTTA JUST DEAL WITH ME AND MY CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am quite crazy but I'm the good kind of crazy.............. KEVIN!!!!!!!!! I SEE KEVIN, COME BACK KEVIN!!!!!!!!! Awwwww, he flew away!!!!!!! Oh I know I'll lure him back with my awesome ninja poses!!!!!! Ok, here it goes.....

***NINJA POSES GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Hoooooooooooooooooooy-YAH!!!!!!!! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... He hasn't come back yet.... Oh well I'll give you a KEVIN REPORT in my next Author's Note so........... WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! (see I told you I was random.) Well I'm gonna let you take a break from my craziness for right now and you can read my story!!!!! So... Yeah. Bye-Bye!!!!!

This Note Was Issued and Decreed by,

THE CARROT CAKE QUEEN

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CHAPTER 1-

**JOSIE'S POV**

Uuuuuuugh!! Why does work have to be so boring!!!! I'm so glad my shifts over, the only good thing about being a waitress at Nandos is that it's at Nandos, the awesomest resteraunt on earth!!!! BUT THEY DON'T EVEN LET YOU EAT ANYTHING!!!!!!!! It makes me wanna cry!!!!!!!!! Okay, stop before you make yourself cry, Josie............................................................................... Okay I'm good!! Oh, your'e probably wondering who the heck this girl is babbling to you about her day right?!?!?!? Well, let me introduce myself, My name is Josie Analee Payne and as you can probably tell I'm Liam's sister. I have dark brown hair with neon pink at the tips that reaches to about my mid-back, bright blue eyes, like seriously they're almost neon as well, my skin is very pale but still has a bit of a tan to it, I'm about 5 ft. 6 in. in height, I have a small sized waist and a bit of an hour glass figure but it's not as defined as it could be and I love food, food is a big part of my life, like seriously I'm always eating yet I stay as skinny as I am right now, It's called a fast metabolism people!! Okay now that I've told you about myself I can continue ranting to you about my day... I wonder when Liam's gonna call me, I mean I am his little sister (by about three minutes anyway) so I do deserve to get a phone call every once in a while!!!! I mean he usually calls me at least once every week but he hasn't called me in two weeks!!!! I mean what kind of a brother would do such a- OH IM GETTING A CALL..... AND IT'S FROM LIAM!!!!!!! My inner monolauge will have to wait till later!!!! "Hello?" "Hey Josie it's Liam" he said casually... Casually... He said it casually.... HOW CAN HE SPEAK TO ME CASUALLY WHEN HE HASN'T CALLED ME IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Hey Liam, so I just wanted to know.... WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME???? YOU KNOW IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE I LAST HEARD FROM YOU, I MEAN COME ON, I'M YOUR LITTLE SISTER BY THREE MINUTES-" then he cut me off "Really? You have to add that?" "Yes, Yes I do.. AND DON'T INTERRUPT ME UNTILL MY RANTING IS FINISHED!!!!!! ANWAYS IM YOUR LITTLE SISTER YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE THE FREAKING DECENCY TO CALL ME SO THAT I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T DIED OR FELL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH AT LEAST!!!!! OH, WHEN YOU GET BACK IN LONDON, I AM GOING TO BE WAITING AT YOUR FRONT DOOR SO THAT I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME MISTER????? NOW EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME IN TWO FREAKING WEEKS AND YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE OR ELSE I AM FINDING OUT WHERE YOU ARE AND I'M FLYING OVER THERE JUST SO I CAN GO ALL OUT FREAKING NINJA GIRL ON YOU!!!!!! OKAY... GO ON, TELL ME YOUR FREAKING EXCUSE!!!!!!!!!!" I practically bit his head off through the phone and I feel much better now that the anger isn't inside of me anymore, I mean I don't usually explode and yell at people when I'm angry so I wouldn't be surprised if he was in shock, i mean usually I just go beat the crap out of my punching bag when I'm angry. There was silence for a few moments and then he spoke up, "You'll understand why I haven't called you for two weeks once you get home. Bye Sis!" then he hung up on me. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?- 'When I get home I'll understand', Oh well, Im at the door to my flat now, so I guess I'll know what that means in a few seconds... I walk in and everything looks normal... Huh, that's strange... I don't even bother walking into the living room, I walk right past it and into my room to put on my pajamas. I decide to wear an old Justin Bieber Concert T-shirt, my favorite pair of pajama pants- they're white with little cartoon carrots all over them, my neon orange slippers that resemble boots, took my hair out of the bun i had it in at work. I grabbed my iPhone, put the ear buds in my ears, and put my Justin Bieber songs on a continuous loop. On my way to the living room I grabbed myself a tub of ice cream, opened it, grabbed an ice cream scooper, (yes, an ice cream scooper, being Liam's little sister I'm always trying to find loopholes to not using spoons, I've got to stop inner-monolauging, I've been doing that alot today, I've also been inner-ranting alot too, I've got to stop that now cuz it's getting kind of creepy.) ,and I skipped my way into the living room, holding my ice cream, and belting out the lyrics to Justin Bieber's oldest hit, Baby!!! I just love this song!!!! When I got into the living room, what I saw made me smile from ear to ear. I can't believe he's here, in my living room!! He's back..... And I couldn't be happier now that he is!!!!

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HELLO AGAIN MY FANTASTIC READERS,

Just so you know this is the 1st and last time (unless it's completely necessary) that I'm making two Author's Notes so...yeah...

Hahaha!!! I know I'm evil, making a cliffhanger in the first chapter, but it's necessary for the story to work!!! Sorry if I've upset anyone but it will be worth it to keep reading this story!!! I promise!!!! I can assure you that the next chapter will NOT have a cliffhanger, I promise!!!!!!! Just please keep reading!!!! PLEASE, REMEMBER TO COMMENT cuz I love hearing your opinions, FAN ME Because I love my fans, AND VOTE FOR MY STORY cuz it makes me update a little bit faster!!!!! Nothing except carrot cake and one direction music would make me happier than I would be if you do those things for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I wanna go read some Wattpad stories myself so I am now concluding this Author's Note!!!!!!!! Bye!!!

This Note was Issued and Decreed by,

THE CARROT CAKE QUEEN