Broken

Chapter 1: What started it

*warning: self harm*

3 hours earlier

I unlock my phone and text my friend Carter to see what he's doing. He doesn't answer. I then realize that Carter, Mark, and Jackson left the group chat. I text Carter again and it says the message won't go through. I exit out and quickly text Mark.

Mark

                    What

Can you text Carter for me

                   Depends, what are you going to say

Nevermind

                    Ok

Here's the thing I'm really not in a good place right now and I need to talk to Carter

                    After getting called out for suicide baiting

No

Thanks for the support

                    If you had called the hotline and told them you were actively trying to OD the police would've shown up at your door and taken you to the hospital themselves

Tears start falling down my face. What the fuck.

I didn't tell them my fucking address

Just get Carter PLEASE

Thanks for putting me even deeper into the abyss

                    I'm not responsible for your happiness and neither is Carter. That's something you have to find for yourself and you also have to stop trauma dumping to everyone all the time.

When I'm talking to Carter and makes me feel calm

And I didn't fake anything

Anyway thanks for everything

And I'm done

I turn off my phone and place it on my bed. I cry out. Why did they do this to me? I wasn't trauma dumping on them. I told them my trauma because I trusted them. I didn't fake suicide. I didn't fake being mentally ill. Why are they doing this to me? WHY?!

I lay down on my bed and cry. I cry about the betrayal. I cry about the fact that I lost an important friend. I cry that this is how they viewed me. I cry that they think I would pretend to commit suicide. I cry, cry, cry. Then I stop crying.

"I feel empty. It hurts so bad. Why? I trusted them." 

I look down at my wrist filled with barely visible scars. I need to cut. It hurts so badly. I don't want to feel this pain!

I get off my bed and kneel down taking out the dagger under my bed. I pick it up, grab my phone, and walk into the bathroom. I lock the door. I stare at the blade, the light from the hallway peering from under the door. I unlock my phone and text Aiden 'goodbye.'

"I'm lonely. I'm broken. I want to be fixed. I want to be truly happy. But I won't. So I'll just kill myself and sleep forever." I mumble to myself.

I sit in the middle of the bathroom, in the dark, staring at the blade in my hand.

I just want to die. Living is so painful.

But what about the people who care about you

Just kill yourself

Nobody loves you

Don't do it

Do it

I drop the blade and scream. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! Why can't all of you just shut up!"

Tears rapidly start falling down my face.

I grab the dagger and slash my wrist. I slowly lay down and watch the blood pour out my wrist. I look to the door as I hear footsteps approaching me. I hear banging and the doorknob jiggle.

"Janelle open the fucking door. It's me, Aiden." He yelled banging on the door.

I start to lose consciousness as the blood flows. The last thing I remeber is the door bursting open and Aiden looking over me.