Onyx Eyes (Levi x Readers)

Smother

[Y/n] POV.

"I'm sorry Ms. (Y/n), all the scans returned positive...and we won't be able to operate because of how deep the tumor is growing in your brain. Is there anything else you wish us to do for you?"

"No, thank you."

"Is there anyone you'd like us to call?"

"...No."

"Are you positive ma'am? I'm sure your relatives would like to know so they can prepare for-"

"No, thank you, is my wish for them not to find out yet. Thanks Mrs. Zoe, don't forget to tell the kids I said hello, and give Erwin a hug for me."

"W-will do, and I'll let S-sonny and Bea know you dropped a line, and again, I'm s-so sorry." Tears streamed down in runnels on the doctor's face, while mine was only slightly damp.

"It's...okay." I manage to choke out. I'm trying to hold it all in, in hopes that she'll think I'm strong. Heading to my car however, the façade comes crashing down miserably.

I am wasting losing time,
On a foolish fragile spine.
I want all that is not mine,
I want him but we're not right.

I constantly pull over on the drive home because of waves upon waves of crying fits. How the hell am I supposed to tell him? I keep thinking, and finally I found my answer...I don't.

In the darkness I will meet my creators,
And they will all agree that I'm a, suffocator...

"Levi. I'm home!" I spent the last hour sitting in my car rehearsing any question he may have about my whereabouts, and to cover up any trace of me crying.

I should go now quietly,
For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep.
Where all my layers can become reeds,
All my limbs can become trees.
All my children can become me,
What a mess I'll leave.

I hear him swinging open his bedroom door and walking towards where I was, in the kitchen. He looks worried. The worried look however soon vanishes from his eyes, replaced with something else, but I can't tell, I never can. He's just unreadable most of the time.
And it's something I'll miss about him.

To follow,

"Hey, where'd you go?" He asked.

To follow,

I can't tell him.

To follow,

"The store, see? I thought we could use some more teas. Then I got some more books." The last ones I'll ever read.

To follow.

"Hm, okay, anything going on?" He pried. But he can't find out yet. I'm not ready. I just need a hug, so I wrap my arms protectively around his toned figure.

In the darkness I will meet my creators,
They will all agree that I'm a, suffocator.

"Nothing." I breathe into his hair. I'll miss his smell.

Suffocator,
Suffocator...
...Oh lord.

"I love you (y/n)."

I'm sorry if I, smothered you.
I'm sorry if I, smothered you.
I sometimes wish I'd stayed inside,
my mother...

A single unwanted tear escapes my eye, he will know in time, just not yet.

...never to come out...

"I love you too Levi..."

--Heeey guys. This was my first songfic, I really tried. Gomen because it was sad...and bad, but I've been wanting to do one on this song for a while. Anything y'all suggest? Let me know! Aregato.--

~Rose~