Mare's nest

Chapter 3

I've never been so close to my family. I'm always on my own. Even now.

When I was a child, I hated all these family dinners. It was a time to discuss something of the day or (in most cases) to remind me how perfect a 'role model' George is. "Honey, you must be the best in everything like George", "Stop doing it! What the use of writing your silly stories? You'd better look at George, start programming and be the first", "Hey, look at George. One day you will be like him" and all such stuff. Blah-Blah-Blah.

As far as I know, his father is a good programmer (My Goodness, we're not siblings!). Mum divorced his father (don't know the reason) when he was getting on 5 or 6, and now Kevin (I think I'm not mistaken with his name) lives with a new family somewhere in France. George likes to spend his vacation here.

My father is a programmer too. That's why George and he are soulmates. They even want to start an IT business. Yeah... By the way, my mum she is an interpreter. There are plenty of languages in her head. And what about me... Well... I'm really bad at numbers and languages, and I'm really good at storytelling, but who cares?

I MUST follow a 'role model'. There is no way back. They can't tell me why I can't be myself, and can tell me what should I be... That's nothing.

Once they made me attend a programming course for a semester to become closer to the IT-sphere. I had to be IT savvy (they said). A machine of programming. Be like George. And I failed. I failed all exams. It was really enjoyable. My revenge was really sweet. I did it on purpose not for them, but for myself, 'cause I had to follow my way and not to be their puppet. After that, I started to speak up my mind and became a black sheep of my family. They didn't want to have any deal with me. So, I entered the university and got my freedom. Not for a long, but I did it. Then there was a problem with sorority and I started to share a flat with George. I was surprised to find out that mummy supported that idea. There was definitely a catch... I feel it even now.

Sometimes family wishes you all the best. There's no doubt here. What about my family? On the one hand, they really wish it to me. They want me to be happy (I hope so), but on the other one... Do they really know what really makes me happy? Don't think so. How do they know if I don't know it? I mean... hmmm... like... I really enjoy writing but it's not everything that makes me happy... here are other things... but I see clearly what really makes me unhappy. I'm not a toy or puppet ... What if I don't want to be like somebody? What if... what if I wanna be myself... I haven't found my way yet. I'm looking for it and know I'm on my way, 'cause I did it. Yeah, I did it on purpose. I failed my IT exams on purpose. Not for them. For MYSELF.

This forest and a stranger have some kind of magic over me. I'm in an unknown place, so dirty, lying with a stranger... It's unreal... but it's real at the same time... I'm calm. I'm really hypnotized.

I need to back my head from the clouds, 'cause my mum is already very close to me. My eyes are open now, so I can see her running to us so quickly (she even hasn't noticed the guy near me!). Her hands touch my face.

"Oh my!" She examines me as if she were a doctor. "Honey, are you ok? Where have you been? What happened? Why did you run away from the fair?"

I don't answer. So many questions. How can I answer all of them at once? So, my mum is always making a big deal out of a molehill. She is so scrupulous in everything. Sometimes it's really annoying. Have you ever been asked about your fav color for 2 hours? Nice to meet her.

Ah! Why is she wearing these rags too? Is there a masquerade somewhere? I mean it. I don't find another way – a logical way – to explain why my mum and this guy have clothes from medieval. By the way, I've noticed that I have the same outfit. A long dark green dress. Somebody pinches me, please. Am I nuts or something?

"Honey?" her worried eyes look in mine. "Hello?"

"Let me help you," He gives me his hand.

Mr perfect decided to help me. Wow. Ain't it funny? He was lying with me in this dirt for some time. Keep silent. So, I didn't mention what he was doing when I have a couple words with mum (got up, probably), but now it looks like it's natural. Nothing happened. He's next to me (why his rags aren't dirty anymore?!).

Sometimes the best way to get the situation is to let it tame you. I do the same. I say nothing to them. Just let the grass grow under my feet.

It works. He takes me cautiously. Mum is behind. She helps me to do steps too. I still have a dull pain in my ankle. "Ouch!" This word made them worry about me more. They help me to reach the nearest tree and take a sit on greeny grass.

I touch it. The feeling is so strange. I've never touched such grass before. Yes, it's green like a usual one but the touch... It should be ... like a thorn of rose when you touch it. A spinous one. When I try to touch IT, it's so ...

"Squashy!" I yelled it! "This grass is squashy! Touch it!"

All this time they were so close to me. My yell was unexpected even for me, so mum goes first.

"Honey? Is everything okay?" she touches my shoulder and looks at me with this drama face. Oh, stop it, mum!

Guy touches the grass. Smooth gestures. "Grass can't be squashy. It's not a pillow or... you know," Are you for real Mr perfect?

I yelling. "I know! Don't you feel –"

"Honey, stop it!" Mum interrupts me. "Stop doing like this!" her mood has changed in a minute. I'm sorry what? "Breath in, breath out and tell me what a hell is –"

For the first time, she looked at the guy. Her eyes became bigger, her mouth was silent but words wanted to be spoken.

" Your Majesty... " Your what?