Broken Glass | D.M.

two

I woke up, and for a second I forgot where I was. It took me a moment to realize that I'm back at Hogwarts. I look at the clock and realize I slept through breakfast. Good job, Thisbe. It's not like I need those extra calories anyway.

I walk to my closet and pull out my uniform. Today I'm wearing a light blue pleated skirt, a white long sleeve button up dress shirt, and a navy knitted sweater vest with the Ravenclaw house crescent just above my left breast. And of course, a long black robe, as all Hogwarts students are required to wear.

As I'm changing, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. But of course, it's never just a glimpse really, is it? For 5 minutes I stare, pulling at my fat and imagining what I would look like if I lost 20 pounds. No, 30 would be better.

Madam Pomfrey's owl told me to come to the infirmary at 1:30pm. That means I'll miss potions.

I go through the motions of my day, showing up to class, and of course paying attention. I'm a good student and I take pride in that. After all, it would be kind of embarrassing to be a Ravenclaw who doesn't get good grades.

1:30 finally arrives. I walk through the corridors to the infirmary and take a seat in the waiting area while I wait for my name to be called.

"Thiz!" I hear someone shout.

Raina. Okay, I guess when I said I don't have any friends I lied. I have a few, but not many. I guess I'd consider Raina to be my best friend. She's always been so supportive of me, especially about my mental health struggles. She understands me. Probably because she can relate, as she has mental health issues too. And most importantly, Raina never puts me down. But the only thing is, she probably doesn't consider me to be her best friend. After all, she's a part of the popular group, so she spends majority of her time with them, not me. Even though we're in the same house, there's another girl named Ebony from Raina's friend group in Ravenclaw, so they usually hang out together after dorm check in. Occasionally I'll join them to do homework together. Ebony and I get along well, but I wouldn't exactly say we're friends. The rest of the popular girls are in Slytherin.

I mean, when you think about it logically, why would someone as popular as Raina consider a fat, dumb, loser like me to be her best friend?

I snap back into reality and remember I need to respond to Raina.

"Hey Raina! How was your summer?" I ask.

"It was so amazing! I went to a bunch of parties and even went on a trip to Paris with my friends. How about yours? I missed you so much!"

"Pretty good. I missed you to," I respond. I don't have anything else to say because to be honest, I didn't really do much with my summer.

Our conversation is cut short when Madam Pomfrey calls me in. She takes my vitals, my height, and my weight. 5 ft 2 in, and 106.3 pounds. Crap. That needs to be lower. At least 85, preferably 75. I have a lot of work to do. From now on, 700 calories per day max. 500 would be better.

She tells me that I'm 'a healthy girl'.

Healthy? I don't want to be healthy! I want to be underweight, I want to be thin. I'll do whatever it takes.

Madam Pomfrey tells me that I'm excuses from the rest of potions. I guess that means I'm done with classes for the day. I leave the infirmary, distraught, no disgusted with myself because of my weight.

I'm on the verge of tears. I can feel puddles of water forming in my eyes. I head to the one place I know I'll be alone; Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

I turn on the sink and splash my face with ice cold water. I try to hold in the tears, but it's no use, they're already flooding out.

I'm so fat, so ugly. I'm hideous. The fastest girl in my year. How could I let myself get to such a high weight? It's my fault. I should have tried harder to lose weight.

I'm removed from my thoughts when I suddenly hear something. No, someone. I'm not alone. But this is Myrtle's bathroom. No one comes here. Of course I'm alone. Right? I must have just hear Myrtle.

But the person I heard is a boy. I catch a glimpse of bleach blonde hair. Draco Malfoy.

I try to hide my tears and force myself to stop crying.

My eyes travel down to the left forearm of his white button down. It's stained red. He's bleeding.

"Well what are you staring at?" Malfoy growls.

"Umm nothing, sorry," I mumble almost inaudibly in a shy voice.

Pools of water form in my eyes again. I grab my belongings and begin to exit the bathroom. But a hand grabs me. His hand.

I turn around and suddenly I'm facing Draco. Our eyes lock. He stares at me, and I can't help but stare back into his deep ocean blue eyes.

Several moments pass, what feels like eternity, before he releases my arm. I immediately rush out of the bathroom as fast as possible. What the hell just happened?

———

I ascend Ravenclaw tower and return to my room. I begin to do my school work, but I can't stop thinking about the deep red stain on Draco's shirt. Why was he bleeding? Did he get into a fight? Did he hurt himself? Was it even his blood? He seemed so angry, so distraught. But why?

My head is spinning with confusion and curiosity about what happened in Myrtle's bathroom. I'm having a hard time focusing and I need to get my homework done. I can't fall behind before we've even had a week of school.

I open the bedside drawer and remove a small pink pouch that I so carefully hid away when I unpacked yesterday. The contents of it hold just what I need. Drugs. Adderall, more specifically. Well, and some other stuff, used for special situations. I'm not a drug addict, if that's what you're thinking. I simply just need a little extra help taking the edge off sometimes. But doesn't everybody?

I take a pill and sit down at my wooden desk. I open my charms book to page 127 and get to work. Hours pass by and I'm so indulged in my work that I don't even notice how late it's gotten. I glance at the clock; 11:30pm.

I go to the common room to get some water. Sat at the table in front of the fireplace is Raina and Ebony. It looks like they're doing charms work, the same assignment I finished several hours ago. They're stuck on the last page.

"Charms?" I ask them even though I already know the answer.

"Yeah. We're stuck on the last part," replied Raina. "Have you done it yet?"

"Yeah. I can help you guys if you want."

"Oh my god yes please," says Raina.

I spend 30 minutes helping Raina and Ebony with the assignment. When we're done, I start to head back to my room.

"Hey, the Slytherins are hosting a party tomorrow night in their common room. Do you want to come?" Ebony asks me.

"Umm yeah sure, sounds fun," I respond, trying to act casual.

I'm not the type of person who gets invited to parties, at least not since I stopped hanging out with my old friend group. Especially parties that the popular girls host. Raina asking me if I want to come, yeah, I wouldn't find that too strange. But Ebony? We're not even friends. Sure, we hang out, but only after dorm check in hours, and occasionally during class.

I try to contain my excitement as I return to my room. Maybe this year will be better than last year.