Broken Glass | D.M.

twenty six

I must have fallen asleep, because when I looked out the window, the sun was beginning to set.

Draco was sitting next to me in the exact same spot as before I fell asleep. I saw madam Pomfrey walking towards me.

"Now that I've let you rest my dear, it's time we had a little chat. Madam Cauley, the school psychologist, will be joining us shortly to have a conversation with you in private," she tells me.

Fuck this shit, and fuck you Draco Lucius Malfoy for putting me in this bloody horrid situation.

"Mr. Malfoy, dear, would you mind giving us a moment?"

I looked at him and he looked at me. Despite my inexpressible anger towards Draco, I needed him with me. He knows just as much about my situation as I do, if not somehow more.

"If it would be alright, I would like him to stay," I say.

"Alright, that's okay," Madam Pomfrey replies. "It has come to my attention that you've lost a large amount of weight. Madam Cauley will talk to you about the psychological aspects, but I would first like to address your medical concerns. You are extremely malnourished, my dear, and it's taking a large toll on your body. Your heart rate is extremely low, measuring around 38 bpm. And I suspect that you're going into organ failure, putting you at risk for a cardiac episode. My wish is to get you started on tube feeds, seeing as you are extremely likely to experience refeeding syndrome."

My eyes widen with fear. I look like a deer in headlights.

"No, absolutely not. I do not consent," I respond.

"I'm sorry, dear, but this is your only option if you wish to stay at Hogwarts. Otherwise, I can contact your parents and have you receive treatment from the comforts of home."

Ha. Comforts of home. If there is any way I would describe life with my parents, I would not choose to call it my "home." My home is here, at Hogwarts, with Draco.

"Please, you can't send me home," I say.

"Alright then, dear. You know what must be done, then."

I turn to Draco for support. His usual stern look fades into a comforting smile. He leans in and embraces me, whispering in my ear that everything will be alright.

I hear the doors open, and Madam Cauley walks in.

"I'll leave you to chat with Madam Cauley, then, Thisbe," Pomfrey says.

Madam Cauley takes a seat next to me. "Hi, Thisbe. I'd like to talk to you if that's alright. Mr. Malfoy can stay for moral support if you'd like," she says.

I nod my head at her and then at Draco, asking him to stay.

"Can you tell me a little bit about what's been going on for you?"

I don't know where to even start with this question. So, I turn to Draco.

"She's been struggling a lot with her eating, since the beginning of the school year. Maybe longer, but if that's the case, I'm not aware of it," he says.

"And can you tell me what that's been like for you, Thisbe?" Madam Cauley asks.

"Exhilarating," I respond in a snarky tone.

She looks at me, clearly distasteful with my answer.

"And Draco, how has this all been for you?" She asks.

What is this, couples therapy?

"I'm concerned for Bee's health. I've been trying to help her through this, but I haven't been successful. I don't know what I can do for her anymore," he says.

"I'm sure this must be very hard on you, Draco. Thisbe, I'd love to hear more from you," Cauley says.

"Well what do you want me to say?" I ask, sounding just as irritated as I am.

"Humor me. I'd like you to try an exercise," she says. "Tell Draco what you want him to know about what's been going on for you."

This is dumb. But nevertheless, I turn to him.

"I'm so sorry that I've hurt you so much, you deserve so much better. I hate myself. I know you've been trying to help me, and I'm sorry that all I do is push you away, but I don't know what else to do. I'm not ready to gain weight, I'm not ready to get better," I say. Stinging tears begin to form in my eyes.

"Bee, let me help you. Let us help you. You have so many people who care about you. You don't have to do this on your own. I'm here for you. Every step of the way," Draco replies.

By this time, tears have started streaming down my hollowed face. He leans in and embraces me in a warm, comforting hug. I begin to sob even more.

"Yes, we're all here to support you, Thisbe. Even if it feels as though we're going against your wishes, we're doing it in your best interest. I'd like to go get Madam Pomfrey now to set up your feeds," Madam Cauley says as she begins to stand up.

Draco lets go of me and wipes the tears from my cheeks. He smiles at me and then kisses my forehead.

Madam Pomfrey and Cauley begin walking towards me, Pomfrey holding a plastic tube in her hands. I flinch and attempt to get out of my bed to run away, but Draco holds my hand and ushers me back.

"It's alright, Thisbe. I'm here for you. Breathe," he says while guiding me to take a deep breath.

"Are you ready dear?" Madam Pomfrey asks.

I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, Thisbe, but you know this must be done," Madam Cauley says in a sweet but simultaneously strict voice.

I'm not letting them do this to me, I'm not letting them shove a bloody piece of plastic down my nose and hold me hostage like I'm a prisoner in Azkaban. I jump and try to make an escape once more, but Draco holds me down. Madam Pomfrey casts a spell and I see the tube floating towards me. I squirm and kick my legs trying to break free, but it's no use. Draco has a firm grasp on me and won't let me go.

"It's alright, Thisbe. I know this is horrible for you, but it'll help you get stronger until you're able to help yourself," he says.

I kick even harder now, as if I'm fighting for my life. Which is strange, because not even 24 hours ago I was trying to end it. Strange how the mind works. I begin moving me head side to side, as to avoid the tube. But it's no use. I feel the plastic entering my nose, and an extreme uncomfortableness as it goes father up my nose and into my throat. I begin coughing, choking on my hysterical sobs.

I lay there in defeat and embarrassment.