You Know

Chapter Four

"And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."

- from The Story of Us by Taylor Swift

        "Look, Mika, it's Tylerrr," Andy taunted. Mika ignored him and returned to proving the congruence of ΔABC and ΔOLI. She vaguely heard Tyler saying something angrily to him, felt the tears almost start up again.

        It's been a month, she thought. A month of waking up and thinking Crap, I have to go to school and see Tyler.

        Mika sneaked a look when everything was quiet, and saw Kasey and Jake walking into the room, laughing and eating siomai from plastic cups. Mika felt an overwhelming sense of anger—like her cup of it had overflowed—at Kasey for The Incident. Why did she have to uncover everything? Why must she know every dirty secret and every reason for everything under the sun?

        She wrote a reason for why that angle was congruent to that angle, pressing her pen down hard on the paper so that the ink was darker. Satisfied with her thick writing, she looked around the room, finding Kasey's eyes. Kasey put a mischievous smile on her face and was about to open her mouth, probably to say something about Tyler, if it were not for Mika's glare.

        The bell rung. Mika held her breath. Recess, she thought, is over. Which meant Tyler. Which meant Tyler.

        Mika closed her book and dug around her bag for Little—

        Tyler. Tyler'd borrowed the book.

        She zipped her bag closed and dropped it onto the ground. Nope, never mind.

        The door opened again, and several boys and girls came in, joking and being all friendly with eachother, like they were the Dauntless. Mika was pathetic. Couldn't even ask her crush for her book back.

        She met Tyler's eyes, then, as he moved, Tayla's, right behind him as he went in. Tayla was looking at her, like she'd just discovered she (Mika) picked her nose at home. Like she was seeing her from a new light.

        She remembered this one conversation she and Tyler had one night, about Tayla and her spontaneous fits of mystery and anger at Tyler. He had said, "Girls are so confusing" and "I'm glad I'm not a girl lol". She had given him a thumbs up. But boys were also confusing. Why would Tyler tell her all those things, and expect her behavior around him would stay the same? Why would he borrow a stupid old book that he can download for free (and illegally) from the internet? Her stupid old book, for that matter. She was just someone he could dump all his problems on. Someone who had a different perspective from his, but wouldn't tell anyone or think him different. Like a punching bag. Although it did make her think of him differently. Now she liked him.

        But he liked Tayla. Stupid, tall, un-pimpled Tayla. Mika squeezed the strap of her bag. Stop it, Mika.

        Tyler's seat was near the door, but Tayla's was on the other side of the room (interesting, Mrs. Jay), so Tayla had to pass by Mika's seat.

        Tayla skipped past her, her skirt brushing against the front of her desk, head high. She'd stared straight ahead.

        Mika half-paid attention to class. Whatever class was going on right now. She wanted so badly to look and to see if Tyler was hurting as much as she, if he was also trying not to look at her. She wondered about the times where it was like she was sure he felt something for her, despite their nightly talks about Tayla. He would look, always would look, at her, then go back to whatever he had been doing, or whoever he'd been talking to. As if he hadn't just shocked her mind awake.

        Tayla. Tayla was a piece of work. Mika and her probably would have been besties, with all the common interests (aside from Tyler), if it weren't for the knife driving a wedge in between them. Said knife being Tyler. The first week had been great. Love for reading and Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne'd brought them together, and they were referencing lyrics and Harry Potter in almost every sentence.

        But then Tyler.

        Mika traced the papers full of song quotes and other quotes that she'd taped to her desk.

        Why d'you have to go and make things so complicated?

        When you try your best, but you don't succeed.

        Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted.

        Lyrics that had meant nothing to her when she'd written them down, with the thought of, 'I like this song, let's quote it', now screamed at her in scolding tones.

        How could she do this? How could she have failed their friendship? He needed someone to be there for him unselfishly. She'd just used his vulnerability to get more information about him and his personality. Why did she have to ruin everything? It was going fine with Tayla. Ship sailing and all that. Now, with those rumours and what she'd revealed to him that day, it would make him feel guilty everytime he was with Tayla, hindering their relationship. Or friendship, whatever.

        Ever since The Incident, Mika'd avoided Tyler and all his attempts to try and talk to her, online or otherwise. Little by little, he stopped trying and just looked away and put on a blank face everytime she was mentioned.

        Did he even care that she...? Did he even feel sorry for what happened?

        Mika hit her table with her fist, startling her seatmate, who looked at her uneasily before giving her attention back to the teacher. She breathed deeply through her nose.

        In, out. In, out.

        Tyler never cared for you as a friend. He just needed a trash can to dump all his troubles into.

        In, out. In, out.

        He and Tayla must've been laughing while Tyler recounted Mika and his talks. Silly girl. Silly, silly naive girl.

        In...out...

        "Mikaela." She heard her teacher's voice and looked up. "Are you alright?"

        No. "Yeah." She was aware of several pairs of eyes on her, Tyler's included. "I just...may I go to the restroom?"

        Her teacher, Civics, she realized, allowed her to leave, and she found herself standing in front of the sinks. Shaking, she broke down, letting the tears slide down her cheeks.

        She hadn't shed a tear over The Incident, not even an angry punch to the wall, until now.

It hurt.

—-

Triangle OLI though.