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The Girl of Worthlessness

~Jules~

I looked out the enormous window over my kitchen sink as I scrubbed the never-ending dishes. What was I doing? I'm supposedly one of the brightest people in California. Yet, I'm still living in my mother's house, scrubbing her dishes. I could easily move out, except for the fact that I couldn't. I would be horrible if I did. Mom was bed-ridden with a simple cold. I didn't have faith that she'd make it. Ichsemic heart disease is ruthless.

Just as I finished up the dishes, I heard a knock at the door. I opened it only to find exactly who I had wished to not see. Aziel Gry was almost stalker-ish.

"How do you know where I live?", I interrogated him.

"Having the job of discarding confidential records at The Academy is a blessing," he said with his stupid grin. God, that stupid grin.

"Then they aren't very confidential, huh?", I mockingly asked him.

"I suppose."

"I have much more important things to do, if you don't mind.", I tried to slam the door in his prideful face. Unfortunately, he caught the door before it shut.

"Listen, I just want to reconnect.", he told me. It almost sounded genuine.

"Listen, I don't.", I mocked him for the second time in that interaction. "All I am to you is a tutor from when we were in school. I don't wish to be any more to you than that."

"You're really stubborn."

"Some things never change.", I successfully slammed the door in his annoying face and locked it. I drew the blinds in the kitchen so that I could make my mother her tea in peace and privacy. I set up the tea kettle and allowed it to brew.

While I waited for the tea to brew, I got to thinking. I have a scholarship to some of the best colleges in the United States, and yet I'm still at my mother's house at 19 years old, without a job, trying to organize my life.

Where did things go wrong? Why am I here?

Right, things went wrong when my mother was diagnosed with the disgusting disease, and I'm here to take care of her.

I love my mother, I would clearly do anything for her. I just wished that neither of us were in this mess. I wished that she could easily live on her own, while I was happy at Yale.

But unfortunately, that wouldn't happen even if she was given a million years to recover. She's in too deep.

I'm in too deep.

My thoughts wrapped up just as I heard the familiar screech of the tea kettle. I poured my mother her tea, and proceeded to go upstairs.

I paused at her bedroom door. Something felt wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it after a couple of long moments, so I opened the door anyways.

My mother laid on her bed, beautiful as ever. She looked peaceful with her gray eyes fluttered shut. I set her tea on her nightstand and lightly shook her to let her know that it was ready.

Only, she didn't wake up.

I felt her light brown hands.

Cold.

Dead.

I buffered. I buffered for a long time. It could've been seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, or even years, possibly. I'm not sure. All I know is that I stood there, trying to accept the idea.

Eventually, I heard myself let out a blood-curdling scream as I hit the hard wood floors. This was my fault. Not only did I do nothing about this, I am being childish about this. I'm immature, jobless, living with my mother, or was living with my mother. I'm a Girl of Worthlessness.

I thought of this more and more until my thoughts visited somewhere else. Or someone else. Aziel. He kept me downstairs. I could've been up here before she died. I could've possibly saved her. It's his fault. He killed my mother.

I would kill him for it.

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Hello loves! I am so excited for the second book of this trilogy! I hope you guys like the first person point of view! I personally think I'm better at writing in first person. I hope to see you in the next chapter! Happy reading~!

•- averslxo

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