Ernie and the Officer

Episode 11

Joe under his breath: shit...
Fliar: What was that cutie?
Joe: has there been any news on finding the murderer in that neighborhood?..
Fliar: Yeah actually, we got half a fingerprint on a side of the victim
Joe: ... any suspects?
Fliar: Not yet, it's still getting tested
Joe looks away, hes a bit concerned
Fliar: What's wrong sweetie?
Joe: Dave may be moving to that neighborhood...
Fliar: Visibly annoyed Well you and I can carpool then
Joe: ok, are you ok.. you seem annoyed?
Fliar: I'm fine
(FBI #2) Clare: walks into their office Hey guys, I figured out who the finger print belonged to
Fliar: Ok who is it
Clare: Because it's incomplete, we aren't 100% sure who, but we have a few suspects
Fliar: Well send us over the list
Joe nods
Clare: it could be Ernie or possibly a girl from France named: Madilyn Barnard
Joe: CRIMINAL-
Clare: Who's also my sister :/
Joe spits out the coffee he started drinking
Joe: WHAT-
Clare: Yeah I'm French get over it jeez
Joe: how the heck clarisse
Clare: I've already told- wait I'm not Clarisse-
Joe: oh yeah sureeeeee
Clare: Anyways, I've already told Maddie that she has a scheduled time for her interrogation, you guys can do Ernies since you know him better I guess
Clare: Her time is tomorrow at 2 pm, btw
Joe: ILL GO AFTER THAT CRIMINAL!
joe starts walking out
Fliar: What time is her flight?
Clare: looks at watch like right now, why?
Fliar: Hmm What airline?
Clare: I don't know? Nor do I care honestly
Clare: Why in the world do you care?
Fliar: well the murder was here, so I just want to make sure she is actually flying in, just like I would if it was anyone else
Fliar to himself And if Ernie goes to Jail Dave will date Joe....
Clare: That's what she told me, I have no clue if it's true
Clare goes back to her office
Fliar goes onto his computer in his private office with a key pad and no windows
Fliar looks for all flights going from London to Satan (The Capitol of the state Hell)
Fliar sees that there are no flights at this time and gets hit with a hard object, knocking him out
Maddie: Sorry, you're just too smart
Maddie takes Fliar to her secret place

-|~-|~ At Aubreys house ~|-~|-

insert sounds of a moving truck outside
Ernie: IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS
Ernie runs outside
Audrey: I wonder wat that sound is
dave is moving boxes into his new house
Ernie: DAVEEEEEE
Audrey: Dave?
Jack: Dave?
Ernie: Uh-uhm Do you need help moving boxes
Erin: Dave?????
Ernie: He got you guys ice cream bro-
Erin: Who's Dave?
Dave: wha-
He looks over to see ernie
Dave: I mean I wouldn't mind help
Ernie:OK BYE KIDSSSS
Dave continues with moving boxes from the truck to his house
Audrey: can I help?
Ernie: No.
Dave: I'm fine with it
Audrey: PWEASE DADDDD
Ernie grabs a box Where do I need to take this one
Ernie: I think Jack said he wanted to cuddle or something
Audrey: Dadddddd
Dave: ehh you can just place it anywhere inside, I'll get it sorted out sometime later
Audrey: I WANNNNNA HELP
Ernie Whispers to her: 20 bucks and a double date with you and Aubrey and her girlfriend if you walk away
Audrey picks up 2 boxes at one time! And starts heading into the house anyway
Ernie grabs the mattress and brings it up to the master bedroom
Dave grabs a box with a big fluffy duck plushie
Audrey: picks up the box with the weights in it
Audrey: This is a little hefty
Ernie: laughs at Audrey
Dave: Uhh yeah it's got weights in it-
Audrey: it says it's about 67 pounds of weights
Ernie: Omfg, give it to me
Dave: yeah-
Audrey: Huh, that's not very heavy
Ernie: YOU JUST SAID IT WAS-
Ernie: I'm never gonna understand women
Audrey carries the box all the way upstairs
Audrey: ERNIEEEE
Dave: here you should take this box
he hands Audrey a box full of pillows and stuffed animals
Audrey: Dude
Audrey: I'm not 5
Dave: Well its lighter-
Ernie grabs the box from Dave Awwww what're their names
Audrey: picks up the box with the candles in it
Dave quickly gets a bit embarrassed
Audrey: Dudeeee
Audrey: drops the box
Audrey: THEY'RE SO CUTEEEEEEE
embarrassment ensues for the sadboi
Ernie hugs Dave
Audrey: DATE ALREADY
Ernie blushes and grabs a box
Audrey pushes them into each other more
dave goes back to moving boxes now flustered
Ernie: Audrey...
Audrey: CHICKEN
Aubrey: AUDREY
Aubrey: YOU WANNA PLAY CODE NAMES????
Audrey: YOU GUYS ARE SUCH CHICKENSSSSSS
Dave: chicken that's a new one- :/
Audrey: Sure, I don't wanna catch their chickenness
Aubrey: YAYYY
they leave-
Ernie: looks into Dave's eyes
dave looks into ernie's eyes for a second
he gets flustered and walks into the house to start unpacking boxes-
Ernie takes the box he's holding into the living room
Ernie calls Joe
dave is placing a candle on the coffee table
its a mix of warm colors :)
joe on the phone: yello?
Mhmmm I love yellow
Ernie: Dave wants to go out for ice cream and I don't have any money
Ernie: Can you take him
Joe: yeah sure
joe in his mind: anything to get them away from eachother, why are they even together in the first place-
he hangs up
Ernie: Ok, he's at-
Ernie: He can just track him
Dave: who were you on the phone with?
Ernie: Oh, Granny
Dave: oh uhh ok?
Ernie: I asked her to make some cookies
Ernie: With hot sauce
Dave: oh that's my favorite combination, she must be really cool :>
Ernie: Yes
Ernie: grabs a box and puts it in Dave's bathroom
KNOCK KNOCK
Ernie: I think it's for you
Dave goes to answer the door
Joe: IM HERE TO TAKE YOU TO GET ICECREAM!
Dave: blink what-
joe pulls him out of the house down to the park
Ernie: KIDS, WE HAVE A HOUSE TO PUT TOGETHER NOW.
Audrey: no
Ernie: Everyone gets cake, ice cream, and a date one on one
Ernie: And I'll do a months worth of your homework
Audrey: Fine ;-;
Audrey drags the rest of the boxes in all by herself because it only took 2 minutes
Aubrey runs out, dragging Erin
Jack and Erin help unpack
Ernie starts doing the living room
Ernie: Erin, you and Aubrey do the kitchen,
Ernie: Jack and Audrey, you do the master bedroom
Audrey: FINEEEEEE
Ernie: Uh guys.... How do I do tv
Audrey: figure it out dumbo
Ernie: Uhhhh
Ernie: AHAH YOU PLUG IT INTO THE WALL
The TV turns on
Ernie starts working in the bathroom
Ernie: Is everyone finished?
Aubrey: Yeah, we're just about finished
Joe and dave are approaching the door
Joe: y'know I think we should've just hung out at the park not with ernie
Dave: I still have to unpack tho :/
Joe: :<
Ernie: OH SHIT THEYRE COMING
Ernie: EVERYONE HOP THE FENCE
Ernie throws all of the kids over the fence
they open the door
Dave: holy shit-
Joe: ...
Ernie jumps over
Dave: did they really unpack everything while we were gone
Joe: hmm (jealousy :))
Ernie: EVERYONE GO INTO THEIR ROOMS
Ernie: IM MAKING FRIED RICE FOR THE 100000000 TIME
Ernie: Or do you guys want burgers?
Ernie: ISTG ANSWER ME
Audrey: No
Ernie: Hmph I'm making burgers anyways
Ernie: HAMBURGER OR CHEESEBURGER EVERYONE?
Aubrey: Uhm Cheeseburger
Audrey: No
Ernie: Does anyone want fries?
Audrey: I want pizza
Ernie: I got this
Ernie calls the pizza place
Erin: Mhhhhh pizza
knock knock
Pizza guy: your pizzas here
Ernie answers the door
Pizza guy: heres your pizza, that'll be 14 dollars for 2 large pizzas
Ernie gives a 20
Ernie calls Dave, assuming Joe is still with him
Pizza guy: cool
he chucks it at him
the pizza guy leaves
dave on phone: hello?
Ernie: Hey, do you and Joe wanna come over for Pizza?
dave: yea sure well be there in a few
knock knock mf-
Ernie: Everyone get their pizza :D
Aubrey goes and opens the door
Dave: hello!
Joe: sup
Aubrey: We got some pizza and soda, Help yourself :D
Dave and joe walk in and grab some pizza
Everyone sits around the table and eats pizza
Ernie to Joe: How has Fliar been?
Joe: last I saw him was when I left work hes looking the crime scene
Ernie: Ok...
Ernie calls Fliar
Ernie: Ima see if he wants to come
Dave looks slightly annoyed
Fliar answers the phone
Ernie puts it on speaker
Fliar: Code 207
Fliar: Send help
the call ends
Dave and joe are shook
Dave: we gotta go RIGHT FUCKIN NOW-
Joe: YEA-
they get up quickly and run out the door stealing ernie's phone
Joe: FLIAR WHERE ARE YOU
silence
Dave: he hung up you idiot-
Joe: oh-
He try's to contact him again
Fliar picks up but stays silent
joe: ARE YOU OK? WHERE ARE YOU?
Fliar whispers: no idea
Joe: what happened, what does the place your in look like?
Fliar: just some rope burn and a head ache
Dave: 0-0
Fliar: it looks like the trunk of a car -_-
Fliar: Don't worry cutie, just take your time tracking me, I've got no where to be
Maddie: IDIOT!
she punches him in the head, knocking him out, she hangs up
joe: WTF, WE GOTTA GO, the police chief probably has him tracked rn we gotta go ask her
Dave: ALRIGHT LETS GO-
she throws the phone out the window and it brakes, they speed off
Ernie takes a bite of his pizza
Ernie to the kids: I wonder what 207 means
Audrey: WE HAVE PRIORITIES
Audrey takes the pizza from his hand and throws it in the trash
Ernie: THAT SLICE WAS 58 CENTS YOU IDIOT
Audrey: So you can't waste a small slice of pizza, but you'll let your friend die?
Audrey: That's shallow
Ernie: WHAT DOES 207 MEAN
Audrey: There's been a kidnapping
Ernie: OH SHIT
Audrey: GOD YOUR STUPID