The Bludgeoning

Little Red Riot

There once was a village that was quite small and oh so boring. In a land where nothing much happened. This village was full of boring looking people and boring traditions and absolutely no Bludgeoning's in sight. The village was set in the middle of a great haunted forest, and inside this forest sat a small cabin.

This cabin was owned by a tall black haired carpenter and her small son. Her son was named Eijiro Kirishima and he was quite an un-boring boy. Unlike most ungrateful men of his time he new how to cook and sew and was a skilled carpenter by the age of 4. Ever since he was very little he has worn hand made dresses and skirts. As a man of high peasant fashion he also adorns a red hood that his grandmother used to wear. When the family had to leave their beloved cabin to get supplies Eijiro would love to look at the stalls and play with the kids of the village. Of course while out he had to wear more "traditionally masculine" clothing. The family lived for many years safe and happily unbothered by the gendered world outside of their woods.

Until one day when Eijiro's mother sent him off to deliver bread to his grandmother.

"Now while you're out if you see a weeping ghost don't bother it they're probably just having a really good day. And if you see any strangers do not talk to them they could hurt you, and if anybody is being scary then you spray them with this ok?" And she handed him a special elixir the village woman had perfected to rid themselves of creepy men. An elixir known as "pepper spray,".

Armed with a cheerful smile, a bottle of man mace, and a carvers knife the 12 year old boy was off!

Now I'm sure you've heard the tale of the boy who met the werewolf stripper known as the "Big Bad Wolf," and then was tricked into straying off the path to pick some just dazzling roses, so let's all just skip to the end shall we?

And now that we're at the end we should really just think about this from Grandma Kirishima's neighbors perspective.

Just imagine you've gone out for your day of wood cutting and you think "Hey maybe I should go check on my lovely old neighbor she's been very sick as of late. I should go make sure she's ok." Then when you get to her house you find her drenched in the inside liquids of a werewolf standing next to her 12 year old grandson (also covered in werewolf innards) who has a frazzled look in his eyes, a werewolf stripper pelted over his shoulder, and a bloody carvers knife held in his hand. And most shockingly of all...

He's wearing a dress!

Why that little story would spread like wild fire! And so it did, it was spread throughout the whole village within a week, and after awhile it spread to the whole kingdom! Then the world knew of this weird circumstance! Of course it had been warped with time and with retellings. At some point the crossdressing little boy had become a little girl and the gossipy wood cutter became a hero and the werewolf stripper was merely a wolf. This false story grew so big that far off in the future there would be couples costumes that showed absolutely no understanding to the source material. Like why would a 12 year old girl date the wolf that killed her grandmother? It makes no sense at all. Honestly straight people.

But anyways back to current time, and the Kirishima family was shunned from society. The village people believed them to be monsters since they could somehow survive the stomach of a werewolf without being digested, and also because there was a boy wearing a skirt. It was just preposterous absolutely suspicious. They must be monsters.

And so they were shunned. Eijiro's mother was the only one allowed into town, and even that was only to get food and re-stock their other supplies. Eijiro was completely shunned both for his miraculous survival of the belly of a werewolf and for his wonderful fashion statement. As the years went by Kirishima grew older, his black hair turned red, and he grew shark like teeth. This only proved to the village people that he was in fact a monster and that he should be burned, and only the pleas of his mother dissuaded their murderous attempts. However as Eijiro grew older so too did his mother and she died when her son had just turned 16.

Eijiro was heartbroken and with no where else to turn went to the village people for help. Of course the village people gave him absolutely no sympathy as they immediately tied him up and began preparing a stake for him to burn on.

As they were preparing this stake a couple of people got to talking and they suggested "hey what if we burn him and he doesn't die? I mean he survived the belly of a werewolf. What's to say he won't die of fire? If he doesn't die then he'll just kill us all!"

This obviously caused a panic. What were they going to do with this crossdressing bitch-boy? Then a faithful request shot out,

"How about we send him to Bludgeoning Manor! That way he's off our hands!"

"And if he gets sent back we'll know we can burn him!" This caused a wave of applause to ring out and they quickly sent for a group of Monster Hunters to come take care of their little red problem.

Kirishima was escorted out by uniformed Monster Hunters caring all he had inside of a basket. They should reach the manor soon. Hopefully he won't be turned away.