Time-Space Continuum

Confusing situations.

19.10.2009 (or so it was this morning)
At least it isn't raining.
AmazingPhil

He's so cute when he's stressed, I thought to myself as I watched Dan pace the room.

"Phil, wipe that smirk off your face. This is serious," he snapped. I sarcastically raised my hands in a defensive manner.

"Wow, no need to be so grumpy, it's just my face," I pointed out.

But the matter was kind of serious, I couldn't deny that.

"Okay, so I have a boyfriend," he started.

"Yes, Dan, I think that's settled."

"But I just made out with someone."

"That happened, yes."

"And my boyfriend is in the lounge, watching movies."

"Yes."

"Well, that's practically cheating."

"But..."

"But the boy I made out with happens to be... my boyfriend. The same person. Except five years in the past and with a much better supply of horrible pick-up lines."

"That I am," I responded. "We've been through this already."

"The question is, is what I did ethical or not?"

It was hard coming up with other similar situations that could compare to this unique setting, but I was trying my best.

"Well, imagine. You're in a club with said boyfriend," I offered.

He gave me an incredulous look. He knows as well as I do that I hate clubs, and I'm guessing that's still a thing in 2015.

"Bear with me. Okay so you're in the club, and he's drunk, and you aren't. And he somehow thinks he's 23."

"You do think crazy things when you're drunk. Once I had to convince you that you aren't actually an alien capybara sent to destroy us all," he intrerrupted.

"Sounds like me. Anyway. He thinks he's 23, and he isn't really acting like himself. Sometime that night, you make out. The next day, your boyfriend doesn't remember anything. Does this sound like cheating?"

"No. It's the same person I'm attracted to."

"Yes!"

He was biting his lips, making them go pink, and I knew the debate wasn't settled. Yet.

"But it isn't the same when the person is ALSO in the other room!" he exclaimed suddenly, more and more frustrated.

"But it's still the same person! I'm still your boyfriend!"

"You're not my boyfriend," he muttered, eyes narrowing into slits.

"Yet," I replied cheekily.

He eyed me again. And seemed to stay in that position for a few seconds, until...

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Phil," he breathed and took my cheeks into his hands with a rushed motion.

The lips he'd been biting exactly on the topic of kissing were now moving against mine hungrily. My hands traveled to the hems of his shirt, underneath them, and settled on the skin on his lower back. His fingers rose to tangle into my hair, and I took a breath.

Immediately his tongue reached for the roof of my mouth and soon my own was pushing from underneath.

Our tongues battled for dominance.

*change of scene*

"En garde!" Sir Tongue McPhil shouted. His opponent, Sir Tongue Danson, had the same first name and an equally resembling fury. The two muscles took out their swords and, soon enough, the clash of metal over metal could be heard. Someone cringed in the distance.

They fought valiantly in order to protect their lands. Of course Sir Danson, having first entered the McPhil property, had an andvantage, but the opressed one was recovering fast. They grunted and groaned with the effort.

The fight seemed to last for ages, the two knights not growing tired one bit. At last, short after the second commercial break, McPhil managed to strike his final move.

"Touché!" he shouted.

A/N Yes. I am just going to end it there. And give you absolutely no explanation.

Oh, come on, I bet you've always wanted to see that done.

Also you can blame phiIlester for that, she gave me the confirmance I needed.

And I know this is short. And I know this is shitty. But I've been busy and then I've been off the internet and then I started reading way too many tumblr oneshots and now here I am.

(Btw from all the ones I read I totally reccomend Howl as an insanely long werewolf oneshot, and for chaptered- Lumos. Also if any of you know any soulmate/fantasy AUs, LET ME KNOW PLEASE)

Anyway, I've been waiting recently for some phanfics to update and I realised I was guilty of the same thing and yeah here you all go.

Boom ba doom pfffffttt.

Also- microwave. My favourite onomatopæia. What can I even say.