Drops Of Jupiter

Death is inevitable. Walang nakakaiwas dito, we never know when and where our time.

Death.

Losing your parents specially your mother can bring an overwhelming amount of grief.

It's a loss like no other. The unimaginable heartbreak that no one can describe.

It's a loss that takes you for all you have and leaves you blinded by pain. It's a loss that leaves you doubting life, doubting things that you could have, should have, done

"Condolence, Yat"

Tinanguan ko lamang si Shaira dahil di ko pa rin magawang alisin ang mata sa kabaong ni mama.

Sobrang sakit na sa sobrang sakit mamanhid ka.

Di ko alam pero biglang na naman nanubig ang mata ko.

Di sana ganito kasakit kung natural o dahil lamang sa aksidente ang pagkamatay niya, pero hindi!

Kinitil niya ang sarili niyang buhay. She is selfish.

Paano niya kami nakayang I wantganun ganun na lamang? Paano niya nagawang kitilin ang sarili niyang buhay?

Dahil ano? Namatay din ang kabit niya? Namaraty din ang pinakamamahal niya?

Putanginang pag ibig yan.

Di niya man lang kami naisip na mga anak niya? Kaming tatlong anak niya.

Saan na kami nito pupuluting lahat nito at papano na ang buhay namin. Wala na nga si Papa tapos iniwan niya din kami.

Walang kwentang ina!

Tinignan ko si Ara ang bunso kong kapatid at di ko alam pero mas lalo akong napaluha. How dare she leave my six years old sisters. She's so young to experience this kind of pain.

Niyakap ko ito.

Si Kuya Nathan na kahit di niya man ipakita alam kung wasak na wasak din siya.

Ilang araw na simula ang araw na iyon, pero di ko magawang tignan si mama sa pagitan ng mga salamin ng kabaong. Di ko matanggap at di ko lubos maisip na ang dali dali niya kaming iwan para dahil lamang namatay din ang kamamahal niya.

Naguumapaw ang pagkamuhi ko sakanya.

Nilapitan ako ni Kuya at inakbayan niya ako.

"I know what you're thinking, Yat. It's not like that, Mom wouldn't leave us because she long for him. She's not like that."

Him. Ang putanginang kabit niya.

"Then what Kuya?!"

"She's so shallow, Kuya. They didn't think about us especially Ara. How could she slice her arms without even feeling guilty that she will leave her children here alone?!"

Inalo ako ni kuya dahil medyo may napapatingin na saamin. Di ko lang talaga matanggap na ganun lang kahina si mama? Mother should be strong for her own children.

Iniyak ko lahat kay Kuya at panay ang pag aalo niya at lumapit naman saamin si Ara at nakiyakap na rin.

Mom has reason Yat then she gave me a piece of lovely paper with our mother penmanship.

Umiling ako. Di ko kayang basahin yan.

"Please, Yat it's for your own peace of mind"

Sa nanginginig na kamay unti unti kong binuksan ang papel. Di pa yata nauubos ang luha ko dahil maa lumabas pa din.

To my dearest children,

First of all, I love you and I'll always care for you. Always remember that. Maybe you're kuya will be the one who will find this. Alam ko yan. I know while reading this, you're angry at me for leaving you this way especially Yat. Mom will never do that. Kung ano man ang naririnig niyo about saakin, I know you know me enough my children. I love your father dearly even we're not in good terms. I thank him for giving me the three of you. I didn't kill myself because I want to follow your Tito Oscar but I want to cut my suffering and I don't want to drag any of you in my suffering. I can fight anyone or anything at wala akong kinakatakutan kahit ano. But alam ko na kahit anong laban ko sa sakit na to at kahit ano pang tatag ko, di ako gagaling. Cancer is one of the deadliest disease a person can ever had. Why wait for me to let this disease ruin me and our family? I will finally end it and I'm so sorry na sa ganito kung paraan naiisip tapusin to . Don't feel bad na di ko sainyo pinaalam at sinarili ko. Alam ko na pag nalaman niyo to especially Kuya ipipilit niyo na magpagamot at gumaling ako kahit maubos ang ipon natin at tumigil kayo sa pagaaral. We do not have enough money for my treatment at mas pipiliin ko na lang sa pag aaral niyong tatlo kaysa ipagamot ko. I'm so sorry my children for leaving all of you this early. All my atm and bank account are under na sa pangalan ng Kuya niyo at yung bahay sa pangalan niyong tatlo. I know you're kuya will never leave you two alone and always care for you and Ara. Right kuya?. I know you'll be the best guardian to Yat and Ara. Wag na wag niyong sisihin ang sarili niyo mga anak. It's my decision and I'm happy for it. Mahal na mahal ko kayaong lahat and I will always watch all of you especially to our little Ara. Always remember that even I'm not physically there beside you tingin lang kayo sa taas at nandun si Mommy. Smiling. I love you my dearest children.

-Mommy

Losing a mother is one of the deepest sorrows a heart can know. But her goodness, her caring, and her wisdom live on-like a legacy of love that will always be with you. In life, we loved you dearly, in death we love you still. In our hearts you hold a place, no one else will ever fill. Our mother love us, indeed, pero sa kakaibang paraang alam niya.

"I'm so sorry, Ma."

A/N:

This one is for all people who have lost their parents early

I want to give you a tight hug and love. You've suffered a huge loss, but you're still strong and still heads up to the uncertainty of life. I'm so proud of you!! Keep fighting cause you have a lot of life ahead of you.

You frequently wonder how you would get trough this dillema because I know it's been so hard, but always believed and hope in god my dear. He is there for you, He loves you. You're not alone.

-✍️S.T