Mental Mate • Damon Albarn

Four

Im a mess..
House is a mess..
Interview in 20 minutes...
Interview in 20 minutes!

"Shit shit shit" I was panicking probably because my system was completely sober, a joint should do  the trick.

Where's my fucking lighter Jesus
Fucking fridge
Why is there an Oasis CD in my fridge?
Right lighter
Joints?
Cereal box
Room spray
All I can smell are cigs Christ

Being sober is boring as shit always will be, too much panic. 'Oh what if they think this' 'I'm talking too much'

Drugs are basically a filter delete, having a filter is boring. Didn't really have one anyways, guess growing up with Liam Gallagher does it for you.

Time for some magic cleaning or something, 20 minutes, I can manage that surely.

-•-•—•-•-

Cleaning was like a gift from me mam kind of, it got boring very quickly and things couldn't look too clean. Or else it was annoying and made me want to smash it all.

There was still sunglasses and bandanas, guitars, drumsticks, empty drug baggies, pint glasses with lipstick prints, the usual 'Monroe Gallagher house aesthetic' vibe.

It was like an organised clutter, a massive vinyl collection stacked in a Tesco trolley. Still can't remember how I stole that, anyways I had about 3 minutes.

All my Polaroids were still spread all across the dining table, never ate on it anyways. Don't want the interviewer seeing them though.

I didn't take most them but everyone gave me Polaroids they took of me not sure why. Probably didn't want them, knew I'd want them, absolutely fucking loved polaroids, always found them so cool.

There were quite a lot:
Me in a bath with my clothes on.
Me climbing in a window, high oot my nut.
Me and Liam wearing matching sunnies both with joints hanging out our mouths. I liked that one.

Wasn't half plenty Christ, a knock interrupted my trip down memory lane.

"Y'orite?" I greet the interviewer with a half arsed smile.

"Hi Monroe" she smiled very brightly, very. "I'm a big fan by the way!" Explains a bit I guess.

"Of who?"

"Oasis!"

"Aw right, am no in oasis anymore love" I explain " hate tae break it to ya"

"Oh, what's happened? Are you pregnant? Did you fall out? Is oasis splitting up completely?" She asked at an amazing speed probably going 300mph.

"Nah just canny behave myself" i giggle a little with a little school girl smile.

She laughed as well, quite liked her.

"Wanna sit down or summit?" I offer, never had an interview at my house before, usually just followed Liam and Noel about.

"Oh yes thank you" she smiled, very happy. No clue how. She sat and pulled out her wee recorder 'hing.

"Katie Wills, Q Magazine, interviewing. Monroe Gallagher" she used quite a serious voice different from her chirpy one before, and continued it as she asked questions.

"So Monroe has just informed me she was kicked out from oasis! We all know you were very skilled on drums why do you think that happened?"

"Kept getting us into trouble init, and am no good at drums don't even know how to play em mate just hit shit "

"I've noticed all your tattoos, they're very lovely but what inspired you to get so many?"

"Body is a canvas init?"

"What's a day in the life of a rockstar like?"

"Lots of sex, lots of drugs, tons of cigs, even more booze, plenty fit birds as well"

She just laughed awkwardly, what? I answered your questions.

"As you said your no longer in Oasis, what are you up to now?"

"Well just joined another band init, blur. Lovely lads they are like"

She just kept looking at me like I betrayed her or something, don't like me fuck off you cunt.

"What's with the looks love?" I pipe up getting bored and sick of the horrible eyes.

"I just don't think it's very fair for you to betray oasis and join another band, and you really shouldn't call other girls fit." Her little microphone voice slipping with mild fear.

"Why can I call other girls fit?"

"It's just wrong don't you think?" She rolls her eyes, little fucking sket.

"Out my house" i stand up pointing to the door, honestly could not be bothered.

She hesitated but fear got the best of her and she collected her things and fucked off.

I just did all my little thinking and realised this is probably confusing with the whole timeline so it's currently about 1993 and definitely maybe is getting released a year earlier because we need a little spice.

So briefly:
It's 1993 and all the released albums are Definitely Maybe and
Modern life is rubbish is in the making.
Xoxo