Trevor Cannot Do Math Featuring Fairy Cows

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Trevor Cannot Do Math (Featuring Fairy Cows)

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Trevor. He lived on a farm with his best friend Nemo the cow. He was a fairly smart student for the most part but there was one subject that he struggled with...math.
He walked into class only to see the dreaded letters on the board T-E-S-T. A test would be...tomorrow! Trevor was in no way prepared for this test over math; he barely knew what two plus two was! Let alone the square root of x times thirty-five. What was Trevor to do?
As soon as he got home he decided to go talk to his "best friend", and being a lonely child, that "best friend" was a cow, Nemo the cow.
"NEMO! Get over here!" he yelled.
"Moo," was the reply.
That translated to "What do you want, I was sleeping peacefully, and you have to get over here and wake the god that is me?!"
But, Trevor doesn't speak cow. So, he continued on.
" I need help"
Nemo thought, Ugh, what now!
"Moo"
"I cannot do math and there is a big test coming up."
Really! That's a shocker!
"Moo"
"I need you to summon your friends to help me, please?"
No.
"Moo"
"Oh my gosh, thank you so much!"
I'm not helping you.
"Moo"
Nemo turned and left, before Trevor could continue further. And a cow needs his beauty sleep.
Trevor, being oblivious to anything he turned and went inside to start studying.
"Hey, Trevor, how was school?" his mother inquired.
"Good, but there's a test and I need to go study, right now!"
And with that Trevor ran off.
"Okay..." his mother turned back to the food she was making.
Why is he like this, she thought, it's not like he ever passes when he studies.
She didn't actually hate her son, it's just, she was having a hard time since fairy cows took her husband and Trevor's dad to the moon. Little did she know they were having a wonderful tea party.
Meanwhile on the Moon...
"MooOoooOooo" a fairy cow said.
It's common knowledge among space people that fairy cows have distorted moos. You just get used to it.
"Yes, I would love a spot of tea." Trevor's dad replied in his British accent.
It's also common knowledge that if you have a tea party with the fairy cows you are British for all eternity.
Back to Trevor's boring life
Trevor started to study, and study, and study. Yet he still found the material hard to understand. He decided to take a break and go see Nemo.
"Neomoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," Trevor began.
What child?
"Moo"
"I need helpppppppppppppppppp."
Uh oh.
"Moo"
"I cannot do math."
Really?! I didn't know that!
"Moo"
"Please help me Nemo, summon your magical fairy cow ancestors! Please!"
Will it get you to stop bothering me?
"Moo"
"I promise I'll give you the best cow treat I can find."
Fine.
"Moo"
"Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
"MooooooOOOOooooooOOOO"
The distorted "moo" of Nemo rang out all the way to space where a fairy cow tea party was going on.
On the Moon
"MoooOOOOooooooOOO"
Heard in the distance. The fairy cows paused.
"MOOOOooooo"
Translation: Did you hear that brother?
"MooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooo"
Yes sister. I did.
"Yo, can I have my tea yet?" Trevor's dad spoke.
Then the leader of the fairy cows spoke, "hold up mates, I'll make you speak English for the sake of the authors."
The lead fairy cow pulled out his wand, then proceeded to cast the magical spell.
"Oh my gosh, I can speak English now!" said Bob, the youngest of the fairy cows.
"Is that Nemo?" Chimed in Dory.
"Ugh, I hate that thing!" their leader declared.
Then Bob joined the conversation again, "but he says he needs help!"
"Fine! We'll just have to send you Susan. Go and bring honor to the fairy cow council."
"Moo?"
"You idiot, you can actually speak English now, get out of here."
"Yes sir," Susan responded in his deep military sergeant-like voice.
Dutifully, Susan made his way down to earth to go see the disgraceful Nemo, the earthling cow.
Back on Earth
In the distance Nemo saw.... Susan! Susan was the fairy god cow. Was he really coming to help? Apparently.
"OH wow! Is that a real fairy cow!" Trevor exclaimed, "I've only ever dreamt of them!"
Nemo had already walked away. He was just done with everything.
"Hey," greeted Susan.
"Helloooooooooooo!"
"What do ya need help with?"
"Math," responded Trevor.
"Then go and study."
"I tried that, but it didn't work."
"So I have to help you study for a math test?"
"Mhm."
"Fine, go get me a piece of paper and a pencil."
"But, but how are you going to wite, you're a cow."
"Yeah, a magic one, now shut up and do what I say."
Trevor deemed that answer good enough and trotted off to get a pencil. Oh, and paper.

For the next few hours they studied and studied and studied. Susan quizzes Trevor and corrects him when he is wrong. Trevor did his best to answer all the questions right, although he answered a lot of them wrong. Trevor eventually started to get more and more right, then getting all of them right.
Soon, Trevor felt ready to take his quiz and Susan felt as if he was ready to do it.
"Goodbye and goodluck!" Susan wished Trevor as he majestically ascended back into the depths of space.
"Byeeeeeee," Trevor called back, "thank youuuuu!"
And for the first time in months, Trevor actually felt prepared for a test.

The next day Trevor woke up after a short, but restful night of sleep. He got to school early to get a few more minutes of study time. When he finally got to the class he still felt ready. When the teacher placed the test in front of him, he knew almost everything. After class, while still a tad bit unsure of how he did, he felt confident he didn't completely flunk that test. Even all the way in space, the fairy cows felt good about how Trevor did.
By the end of the week Trevor got his test grade back.
The teacher handed it to him and Trevor could almost hear his heart pounding in his chest, the steady, thump, thump, thump sounding off. As he saw the teacher come into his line of sight he got even more anxious. Her face revealed no hint of how Trevor fared on the test. Even the fairy cows up in space held their breath and crossed their hooves. The test was slid onto his desk and he slowly flipped it over to see the big red pen...
"A+!" Trevor exclaimed.
His classmates and teacher turned and gave him a look.
"Sorry," he quickly apologized.
Even with the embarrassing speaking out loud, his teacher still gave him a small smile.
When he got home that day he immediately ran to tell Nemo all about his success.
"YO! Nemo come here a minute."
"Moo"
What now? Nemo though with a very much monotone narration.
"I passed my test!"
Thats nice kid, now where's my treat you promised?
"Moo."
"Can you tell Susan," inquired the boy, "I want him to know about how much he helped me."
I bet that stalker already knows.
"Moo."
"You know what Nemo?"
What?
"Moo."
"I don't think I should ever doubt myself again."
Cool
"Moo."

Meanwhile in Space
The wonderful sound of the Berries and Cream remixes filled the vacuum like space air. The fairy cows were so happy that they just had to throw a party. They had counderd up some speakers and hired the Little Lad as a DJ. And of Course he just had to play his famous Berries and Cream hit. The cows, of course, were all breaking it down to the famous Starburst commercial song.
"You know what Susan?" Asked the leader of the fairy cows.
"What?" Susan's deep voice replied.
"You're actually a pretty decent fairy cow mother."
"Decent?"
"Fine, good."
"That's more like it." Susan's snarky reply rang out.
They all went back to their wonderful dancing.
"Elegant," Little Lad commented.
And all was well in the fairy cow world.
The end.
(Oh, and in Trevor's world too, I almost forgot that one.)
The end.
(For real this time.)