Happenings Happening Here

1:10 am

Your friends tell me
How blessed I am
To have you as
My lover.

And if we ever fall over,
All the fault will be mine.

Me, I was fine with it.
Unbeknownst to them
That's something I already believed-
Knowing I was flawed,
Thus accepting the hard to swallow
Platter without complain.

[I Smile]

You are a good man.
You are warm.
But there's something
Repulsive about you,
When I am with you
The gloomy cloud of loneliness
Hovers over me.
And every time I wonder,
What's wrong with me?
There's no sense of belonging,
Just the lingering thought of,
Is it okay to feel this way?

But then you ask,
What's wrong?

Now how do I make you understand that
I have associated sense of belonging to a person,
How I can't forget about the pictures of her I found in your diary, and how desperately I wish I never saw it.
How I want to talk about us and plan our holidays together, and find interesting things to do together rather than just smile at you when you talk about people of your past.
I know you don't talk to them about me with such boundless excitement. It hurts. And
How do I tell you that
I can see you're trying to mend and
Fix the glass of trust, but I simply
Can't bring myself to give you a hand.
And How do I say that I want you to leave. I have handed over the key to you. I had unlocked the door once and held the door open but, I couldn't let you go.
I am always clinging to a piece of you.

Your friends tell me
How blessed I am
To have you as
My lover.

And if we ever fall over,
All the fault will be mine.

[I Smile]