The Carrero Contract - Amending Agreements (Book 2 of Contract Trilogy)

11

Staring at the bathroom ceiling as I soak in the tub, feels like heaven on earth. Warm, clean and luxuriating as my aches and pains soothe away in a bath I can actually lay down in. Nothing scratching and poking into my skin under my body and no dirty brown, unhygienic and marginally warm water to contend with.

Soft music from the apartment sound system is playing something classical, floating in the air around me as citrus-scented candles burn in the low light and creates the most relaxing atmosphere I have been in for months. I feel like I am a million miles away from the reality of how life was hitting me just twelve hours ago.

It's such a contrast to how I have been living and feels like my prayers have been answered. You truly appreciate things like this after struggling for so long.

I've missed these rooms, this bathroom and the luxuries that come from being here in this world. I can barely keep my eyes open, fatigue swimming over me from lack of sleep and my lingering bug. I forgot how good this felt, even though it's such a basic thing and taken for granted until you find yourself poverty-stricken.

I love this tub, it's large enough to submerge completely, big enough for two if I wanted a companion and the jets for the Jacuzzi are on low, foaming away and giving me a full body massage as I soak in expensive bubbles—courtesy of the housekeeper, who stocks the bathrooms with products even when not in use and I could kiss her. I might die right here of complete satisfaction, purring like a kitten as all of my problems ebb away.

I am one hundred percent on a cloud of delirium, and cannot believe that only this morning I was stressing about where I was going to end up, or how to feed or fend for myself after today.

In one day from practically homeless, unsafe, and broke, to being in five-star accommodation with a bank account destined to be singing a merry song soon enough. This is the life Camilla was born to live, and she has been waiting on a reappearance of it with bated breath.

Money aside, the sense of being protected while being here is incomparable in any way and it's this that I ached for more than anything in the past weeks. To feel like I could stop running, stop being weighed down and fighting so hard. Bastard or not, Alexi always made me feel as though nothing outside of him would ever harm me and I would never want for material things. I can just exist here, with no real worries other than him.

I have my doubts of course, about being back here in such close proximity to him, but I'm not as worried as I was. The way I see it, he cannot do a damn thing to me if I don't let him get close enough to damage me again. Alexi is a mental abuser not a physical one and he needs you to be emotionally invested to really get you on that level. I see that now. He needs physical contact like sex to effectively turn the knife, well when it comes to my scars anyway. As long as I keep all of that in the forefront of my mind and don't ever let myself fall under his spell again, then I will be fine. I can get through this and stand up to him.

We got through months of companionable business before we ever had sex, and it can be like that again if I just remember—sex ruined everything. No sex—No problem.

My mood is definitely brighter and more serene now, and I am really feeling positive about this, even if in my depths, the swirling sense of pride and stubborn is battling with me like an infernal tornado.

I am trying to ignore the warning bells, pangs of fear and push the anxiety aside. I can always leave if this goes pear-shaped, maybe just be better prepared for a life back out there, and have back up plans ready in case I need to go this time. This doesn't need to be forever and I should look at it as a temporary step to a better place until I see where it is going.