Just Rose

10

It was a long dragging evening that led into a tossing endless night. She checked her phone a thousand times in case he had anything to say to her, then dying when it showed nothing on her screen. She replayed that kiss over and over in her head. Trying to remember every tiny detail of how it felt. She couldn't focus on work or anything in particular. She couldn't eat her home baked lasagna or even enjoy playing with Muffin.

Listless. Restless. Agitated.

She scooped Muffin up in her arms and laid on the couch to rub his soft velvet face against hers in a soothing manner. The lump in her chest and throat un-shift able. She tried to watch a movie and burst into tears when the leading couple snogged passionately, before he told her he really loved her and turned it over.

She texted Abby some pointless chit chat and had a brief conversation about nothing in a bid to distract herself. Trying anything to shift her focus and calm her rattled emotions. She could not tell Abby about the kiss, she was a bit too close to Rob for this kind of talk and Rose had no idea what the heck to make of it at all.

She called her mother and had the briefest of catch ups in an attempt to distract herself.

She emptied her email inbox and threw her laptop aside impatiently.

Nothing could take her focus off what he had just done to her. That kiss was the stuff romance books were built on and he had just walked off casually as though he had just kissed his gran farewell.

Picking Muffin up again, she headed through to her bedroom finally, too restless to keep trying to stay awake. She replayed every minuscule detail of his face, his look, his actions and tried to make sense of them. Torn between anger, heartbreak, a tinge of hope and torture!

'Muffin why are men so hard to figure out?' She held the little fur ball close under the duvet watching his large brown eyes. He watched her carefully giving no hint to the inner workings of the male mind.

'It's the worst kind of torture for a woman.' She explained sulkily, his little face listening intently. 'If you want to inflict pain and suffering on a future girlfriend Muffin, may I suggest leaving her in great doubt to how you feel about her.' She sighed, pulling his little face close and reveling in the warm licks he spread across her nose enthusiastically as though sensing she needed them.

'Kiss her passionately, like she's your absolute world, in a way that will ruin her for any other man and then give her the cold shoulder. Like dangling a worm on a hook. The result is a pretty messed up emotional wreck.' She sighed loudly, Muffin narrowed his eyes a little and that almost made her smile, before he turned around facing her with a little fluffy rear and a sure-fire sign he was going to sleep. His butt directly in her face; no longer interested in consoling her.

'You are a just a typical male, aren't you?' She rubbed his fur and left him in peace to roll on her back and stare into the darkness. She sighed and resigned herself to the fact that this mental turning over and dissecting wasn't helping anyone.

She finally drifted to sleep in the early hours when fatigue overtook. A welcome relief. Muffin snoring loudly on the pillow beside her and the trees casting odd shadows across her room through her thin shades. The moon was high and full and giving everything a silvery sheen that had done nothing to soothe away her turmoil.