Remember Me

Chapter 5

"The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie." 

- Shannon L. Alder 

- 

"Carina..." Maya took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself. Her first instict was too lie but she promised she wouldn't. "Yes, we were." 

Maya looked towards the skyline, distracting herself from the piercing stare of the questioning women. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Carina asked curiously. She had a feeling but it was never confirmed until now. She was not angry nor sad, just confused. 

"We didn't know how you would react," Maya explained. "With everything going on, I didn't want to burden you with my own grief." 

"Did you love me?" The question felt loaded, but Carina needed to know as the answer may complicate the decision she is yet to make. Her heart went out to the blonde, she would never wish to be in the women's shoes. 

"Carina, its complicated." Maya turned to face the brunette, her heart pounding heavily in her chest. There was nothing complicated about it at all. She loved her truely and she loved her deeply. 

The clouds above began to open, causing small droplets of rain to settle around them leaving shallow puddles on the ground by their feet. The air was brisk and the wind was loud but neither women noticed. 

"Uncomplicate it." Carina whispered. 

"I love you so much that it hurts," Maya finally admitted. Her throat was tight and her knees felt weak. "It physically hurts me everytime I'm with you." Maya whispered into the blistering wind, the words flowing out without thought or consideration. "It hurts everytime I look at you." 

"I'm sorry." The brunette looked struck by the words. 

"Don't apologise to me, Carina." Maya said pointedly. She was tired of the pity looks. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It won't change anything." 

"You said you were married? Was that a lie or...?" 

The brunette couldn't stop the question from leaving her lips. 

"Carina... please." 

"You said-" 

"I know what I said." Maya felt the built up anger in her stomach waiting to implode. "Why are you doing this?" 

The rain began to fall harder, and the wind became more boisterous. Carina's long flowing hair was sticking gently to the side of her face. 

"I want to know who I am now, I have no idea who you are, Maya. You're standing here telling me you love me..." Carina shouted over the rumbling of the wind. 

"You don't think I know that, I know that you have no idea who I am, I have to live with that every day. You think this is hard for you, imagine how hard it is for me." Maya unleashed all the feelings she had been burying for the last few days, her anger directed at the object of her affection. 

Carina recoiled, a look of shock on her face. Maya immediately regretted her words. "Im sorry. I'm so, so sorry."  Maya went to grab the women but Carina stepped back.