Remember Me

Chapter 6

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." - Aristotle

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She had been through this once and she sure never thought she would have to live it again. The helplessness, the guilt; the anguish of it all. Grief is all she felt, a deep, nagging, persistent feeling of guilt that was eating her up inside.

She had expected tears, she had expected anger but she sure as hell didn't expect this. The silence. The calm.

Maya was sitting on the same seat, in the same room as she was when she was last in this position. The feeling was the same but the fear was new, because this time, there was nothing she could do about it. No way to comfort her.

"... there was an accident..." Gabriella looked at the blonde for support but Maya kept her head down, not wanting to see the look on her lovers face when she was told. "He was tracking down a known child trafficker and," Carina was hanging on her friends every word, hoping for some answers. "He was killed." Gabriella whispered.

Maya felt herself tense, waiting for the reaction. The wailing; the anguish.

After a moment or two of complete silence, Maya lifted her head to look at the two women. Carina's face went through an array of emotions: shock, horror, sorrow, until finally, her face showed no emotion at all.

"How?" Carina asked, emotionless. Her face completely blank.

"That's not important right now, Carina." The Italian women answered. She didn't want to go into too much detail about the how or why of it all.

Maya knew what it looked like when a person went into such shock that they feel nothing at all. She has seen it in fire victims and she has experienced it herself. Sometimes the pain is so painful that it's easier to shut it out completely. Ignore it.

"Carina," Maya whispered, hoping to get the brunettes attention, "Don't do that. Don't shut us out."

Carina was looking at her but she could tell that she wasn't actually looking at her.

"I didn't get to see him." The brunette whispered, not talking to anyone directly. "He needed me, and I wasn't there." As far as the brunette was aware, she hadn't seen her little brother for the past few years.

"That's not true." Maya left the chair so she could sit on the coffee table, directly infront of the women. "You were there. You were there the whole time."

Her first instict was to comfort her but she wasn't sure if it would be welcomed. Gabriella had stood up and turned her back to the pair, clearly trying to hide the tears that Maya had noticed a few moments before.

Carina felt like she couldn't hear anything but the sound of her beating heart. The sensation was strange and new.

"Come back to me." Maya placed her hands on either side of her wife's face, trying to prevent to incoming panic attack. Carina tried to fight the hands but Maya didn't budge. "It's okay. You're okay."

The blonde stared deeply into the eyes of her lover, hoping to inherit some of the pain and grief. She felt her wife relax slightly but a panicked look was still present in her eyes.