I'm really, really good at lying. Of course I'm sure that's not exactly what you want to hear as a reader. But I promise it's true, really. I grew up in a strict and unloving household with many unwarranted punishments, so I learned to survive. I would lie and say, "Yes I ate breakfast today", so my mother would think she was providing me nourishment despite constantly reminding me that ballerinas can't be fat. I would hold my stomach in constantly to avoid being hit in the gut, and would only release in the solitude of my bedroom closet. Slipping out of my much-too-big-for-me jeans and wishing I had that little pouch that other girls at school had. I would like and say, "Yes I got an A on my quiz today", to avoid the insults of my father for not being good enough. Worthless, lazy, a waste of money. I would hold back my hot, slow tears until reaching, again, my closet. But then I would lie and say, "Oh no, I'm not upset. I just stubbed my toe on my bed. I'll be fine, " because one of my siblings would tattle that I was crying. And that means you get to sit in the kitchen on the stool while being screamed at until you cave and tell mom and dad why you are crying. These things, though heartbreaking, taught me to be a good liar. And I began lying all the time. "No I didn't cheat on you. " "I heard that Emma was selling weed after school." Lies that hurt people. "I have a twin sister." "I can do a backflip. Well I used to be able to." Lies that were dumb and seemed to make me sound cooler. "No its okay. It only hurts a little." Or "No he didn't touch me like that." Lies that let people get away with crimes. "I'm doing great today." The biggest lie that I know that not just I struggle with, but many people every day. So I'm a liar. A good one. People believe me. But the truth always comes out. My doctor diagnosed me with an eating disorder. My parents found my report card, and caught me crying. My boyfriend got a message. And so did Emma. Everyone wanted to see this twin and my proof of a backflip. A man went to jail. I started therapy.
