Spamton X Fiona X Luke Skywalker Oneshots (VERY SAD)

T H E M E E T I N G

Fiona liked to take small walks around the local area every now and then- exploring further and further every trip she took. It was a hobby of hers, taking some time to breathe relieved her stress and heartbreak from her recent divorce with Shrek.

He wasn't... the best ogre... sometimes she regrets meeting him in the first place.

But... you have to take the good with the bad, don't you?

She decided to bring her purse with her today, grabbing her bag and putting one strap over her shoulder. She should probably stop by the supermarket...

Fiona finally stepped out of the house, turning around to look at the surroundings in wonder. The morning sky was painted with thick clouds and a grey sky, a foggy start to her day, but that wouldn't ruin her attitude.

The stroll was... surprisingly nice. Feet tapping along the crooked-pathway as she quietly watched the world go by.

But as Fiona slowly began to approach the busy roads of the town, she figured she should take a quick shortcut so she wouldn't get run over by the vicious cars.

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A lonely alleyway in the corner of her vision caught her attention, she could spot the other side of the road at the very end. Taking nervous glances towards the dark alleyway, she decided it would be easier to cut through it instead of waiting for the never-ending traffic to calm down.

She steps in.

...It's silent. Fiona can only hear her footsteps and the drum of her heartbeat.

Wow, this is much quicker..! I should take shortcuts more ofte-

CRASH!

..Did that dumpster just move? 

An ear-piercing laugh screeched from inside, and the lid flung open with an unstoppable-force.

"HE Y THERE [[Valued-Customer]]!!!"

...What.

Fiona looked at the tiny man inside the garbage can, a puzzled but concerned expression smeared across her green face.

...This was the last thing she expected to see today.

He suddenly placed one foot onto the concrete, striding out of the trash with his strange, signature smile. "WELC0ME TO MY [[Real-Estate]]! THE NAME''S SPAMT0N G. SPAMTON!!"

Spamton extended an arm, gesturing for a friendly handshake. Fiona reluctantly accepted, thoughts and doubts screaming at her from inside her mind.

This guy was activating her fight or flight responses.

Cautiously taking a step back,  Fiona gave him a nervous, toothy grin, "It's very nice to meet you but... I think I should g-"

"WAIT!! I HAVE [[Irresistable D3als]] FOR [Little Sponges] LIKE YOU!!" Spamton suddenly shuffled towards Fiona, his hands trying to reach for her as he stumbled, falling hard onto the solid ground.