Another morning, another blessing. Were she to count the favours bestowed upon her from her Lord its definitely innumerable.
The blessed days of dhul hijjah have dawned upon us and here she is taking the golden opportunity to revive herself, to reconnect with her maker, to keep supplicating only hoping for acceptance.
Many a Fajr was neglected either delayed beyond sunrise or utter forgetfulness which she sought repentance time and again and making up for it, fulfilling it somehow or another. And many other was she awake before her parents, before the alarm kept a count down to blare off, before the call to prayer.. But this time she's set her intentions straight, intending to offer salaah in the earliest times for she realized were she to delay it, it becomes another missed prayer another qadha added to her make it up list which she covers up day by day by the will and power of Allmighty Allah.
In the dead of the night, two hours pass midnight, she shuffled in her slumber peeking an eye open and realizing its still dark and its still night. Tossing and turning sleep did not reach her eyes again she reached towards the bed stand and peeked at the table clock '02:30' it read. She got off bed and headed to the washroom purifying herself with Wudhu.
Yet at the dead of the night she unfolded her prayer mat, adorned her prayer garb and lifted her hands in thakbeer to the only one she could confide in, the only one she found her strength in, the only one who knows every tiny little detail of how life has been for her.. with tears dribbling out of her eye sockets down her cheek and thud on the ground, she worshipped her Lord with all the ache in her heart
The call to prayer was sounded and that's when she got off her reverie, her heart pounding in her chest and her breath unlaboured for the weeping her mind body and soul was engaged in.. It takes a person only once to ask for forgiveness and Allah forgives him, but this little soul kept begging time and again for forgiveness and mercy.
Five entire years, its been five freaking years since she kept one supplication at the tip of her tongue. Whether it be in sajda, or just after the azan, or just before iftaari, or during sehri, or while travelling, or when its raining, or in the dead of the night, or after tha'leem, or during any time supplications are highly accepted, that duaa of hers would just roll out from the bottom of her heart and sometimes with a tear or more.. And now that she can see that duaa slightly unravelling why does fear creep in her, why is she scared when she's supposed to be ecstatic, why does she skip the dua out after seeking it for five long years.. Allah accepts prayers in either three ways, immediately, after a delay, or with something better.. So why is her heart making chaos when she can feel in her veins that the particular prayer is just few steps away from being answered. What is causing the fear, fear of the unknown? What is driving her to the brim of insanity? What is that she keeps within the chambers of her heart, afraid to let the cat out of the bag? What is that which keeps her on her toes, driving her stress to soaring heights?
Why is that when she trusts Allah on something with her whole life and soul, she's still slacking in, she's still pouring fountains out on the ground, she's breaking her head with unbearable migraines, where did the thawakkul run off to?
One thing she is yet to learn is that, Allah puts you in a situation for a reason, He knows best when your supplications should be answered, and when He answers it, when He bestows you, know that He's blessed you with the best.. He answers supplications in the most beautiful of ways, if its good for you and if its meant for you it would definitely come your way with so much of goodness in it.. Don't fret over things you have no control of, your life lies in Allah's hands and all that you can do is pray for the best in both the worlds..
She stood up for her sunnah before the fajr prayer, for the one who prays those two units is like a person who has been blessed with the world and all that it contains. She continued with her Fajr, her body trembling during the qunooth, begging Allah with all the supplications due. Completing her prayer, on that same position she remains till twenty minutes post sunrise, hands risen to her Lord with all the duaas that could come to her mind, amd then the recitation of the noble Qur'and and twom units of the prayer of Ishraaq stamping her deeds with a hajj mabroor (accepted hajj) seal.
You know the beauty of Dua, Allah knows what you want already, He knows what your heart yearns for, but He still wnats you to come and ask Him for His favours. And when you ask he loves to give, for He is Al-Mannaan and Al-Wadood. And everythings given at the time you needed the most and at the time He thinks its the best for you.
"SO WHICH OF THE FAVOURS OF YOUR LORD DO YOU DENY?!"
