Kook Queen

Okay

It was about a week later and Rafe still didn't want to talk about what happened. But he couldn't just shit me out, not when we were getting somewhere.

We were laying on the couch watching a movie. He was laying with his head on my chest, my hands running through his hair.

I pick up the remote and pause the movie and he looks up at me. His beautiful blue eyes meet mine and my heart stops. I love his eyes.

"I want to talk to you about Berry, and about you using. It's been a week and we haven't really talked about it and I just want you to be okay."

He leans up and places a soft kiss on my lips. When he pulls off he brushes hair out of my face and gives me a small sad smile.  "I'm okay."

"Talk to me though. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? I know you're detoxing and it's unimaginably hard."

"It is hard. That's an understatement. And i hate my self for getting addicted to that shit in the first place. And I want to blame it on my dad, say it was all his fault, he drove me to do this."

He finally sits up and so do I. We sit facing each other. "But I can't blame him because it was me. I was the one who did the drugs. I decided to use them as an escape instead of powering through like I should have."

"Everyone deals with things different ways Rafe. You can't beat yourself up because you're trying to get off of it now. You're going to. You just can't be so hard on yourself. And fuck your dad."

"It's not that simple." He has tears in his eyes now. His baby blue crystals were now glazed over. I stroked his cheek softly with my thumb as I talk to him.

"I know it's not. But the more I tell you that the more you believe it. So it ends up helping. So I'm gonna keep telling you, okay?" He nods and smiles.

"How about Barry?" His small smile drops. "I don't want anything to do with him, I don't want to see him, I don't want to be near him. I want to hurry and give him the rest of his money and be done with it. But I can't because he keeps postponing the drop off."

"I can track him down. So you can just get it out of the way. So we're not on his schedule worrying about him. Once we give him this money, this is it baby. You don't have to worry about him."

"What if he just asks for more, and more and more. Time after time. What if it never ends." He had tears falling down his cheeks now as he held his wrist where Barry burnt him.

I take both his hands in mine and hold them tight. "He won't. And if he tries, then we will figure it out together. Everything is gonna be okay. It always is."