A Tarot's Fate

C h a p t e r t w o

Hesitation. Why must I hesitate to complete to simple action- to knock on a door. A piece of wood, four centimetres thick, two-point two metres tall, a door. It's incredible how a single door can cause my hesitation, my utmost fear. Maybe it's because of what's lurking on the other side of the tall thin wooden object, or maybe because of my cowardness, I suppose one will never the answer to that.

One knock. His cold, dead eyes staring back at me, his pale complexion more frightening than any supernatural figure. The rich red substance running like a lone stream down his chest. My expressionless reflection staring back at me in the blood puddle forming on his stomach, acting like a forbidden mirror.

Two knocks. Structure, authority, fatherhood, all words that swirl through my fragile mind. The thin metal card suddenly feels like 500 pounds in my hand. The Emperor card's image burned into my memory infinitely, a cruel reminding of the sacrifices one must make in order to survive this game.

Three knocks. The scared yet sturdy oakwood door seemingly staring back at me. My possible future lies on the other side of this man-made barrier. The heavy piece of wood laughing at my fear, maybe I deserve humiliation, I deserved to be frowned upon, to be outcasted from the world.

Three consecutive knocks. The number of knocks that was decided to alert my 'friends' and me when someone returns to the room.

My 'friends', well more or less my allies reside in the room post the door. The people who hold the little quantity of trust I have left within myself. The people who will play alongside me in this game. The people I hope to win with.

The creaking of the door brings me out of my thoughts. My heart feels like it just dropped from a 50 story building. My intense gaze at the centre of the door moves until I reach the familiar face of one of my fellow alliance members. The hesitation that had been building within me since I reached this door, leaves my body in a matter of seconds.

Xavier his name was, the man who opened the door An attractive man, sure, yet a man of authority and intelligence. He was a tall slim build, with sandy brown hair that fit his face perfectly, accompanied by deep blue eyes. One would think he was a model. Although his looks and intelligence are certainly impressive qualities, his courage and ability to take risks is a major downfall to his person. Despite being in this 'experience' for around two weeks and being a part of this group for about the same time, I haven't yet had a genuine conversation with him.

My parents always said I lacked social skills. Oh, how I envied those who could smile and simply engage in conversation with another. I wouldn't say I couldn't engage in a conversation with another, it's just that I struggled with it. I suppose I could only really engage with certain people, I was able to flow in a conversation with those certain people yet with others, like Xavier, I struggle.

My father was like me, in that aspect. When we would be invited to social gatherings we would only converse with those we were comfortable with, not bothering to go out and meet new people. My mother and younger sister on the other hand were, what I consider to be, prime examples of social butterflies. It's at moments like these where I can't help but miss them. I would go through the depths of hell just to hug them again, to smile at them again, to be with them again.

Though I haven't participated in a vast amount of conversing with Xavier, I still have learnt about him through other resources, like conversing with those who I am more easily able to talk to. Despite looking quite young and 'attractive' per se, He is supposedly 34 years of age. When I found that out, I felt like laughing hysterically, it's like a real-life catfish! I mean, he has the face of a 22-year-old who just dropped out of university, not one of a man going through a midlife crisis.

I feel sympathy for him though. He has a child, a young boy around 3 years old if I remember correctly. Being in this situation would be horrific for anyone but to have a young family outside the game would be heartbreaking, almost unimaginable. I admire him for his ability to appear strong, but I can't resist wondering how long that illusion of being strong is going to last before it slowly crumbles down.

The clearing of a throat brings my attention back to Xavier, who is awkwardly smiling at me. As he opens the door for me, I slowly step inside the familiar four-sided room. The subtle vanilla scent of the old candles on the shelves roams the room, hitting my nostrils unexpectedly. The relief that washes over me nearly overtakes my immense guilt. I can't help but feel a much-needed sense of security as my senses explore the familiar room.

The lack of noise is what brings me out of my relieved state. The banter that usually fills the room disappeared...Before I can speak Xavier began to speak.

"You were taking too long, Hazel began to worry so she felt the need to go out and search for you."

He sign and continued, "She was too much a coward to venture alone, so she demanded that Chris go with her despite their opposing views. I advised them to wait and remain here, yet they refused to listen."

Right. That seems like Hazel. Always worrying over anyone and everyone other than her self. Her constant empathetic actions and her caring heart lead her decision making rather than using logic and reasoning. A prime example of using one's heart over their head.

From the time I've known her, which is around two weeks, I have admired her kindness and her personality which is possibly why i'm able to connect with her rather than Xavier for example. Despite her name being Hazel, she has deep red coloured hair and blue eyes. Unlike Xavier, she is quite young, only 16 years old, born in England yet raised in Canada due to a sudden move of her father's job when she was 2 years old.

Finally in this peculiar yet effective alliance is Chris. No words could describe the complex entity labelled Chris. A strange mix between "chad" energy and 'I talk about politics yet have no idea about politics' energy. I vividly remember our first piece of dialogue, it started with introductions yet ended with him boldly claiming that Pluto isn't a planet because it shrank and went 'extinct'. He honestly could take first place for the dumbest person I have ever conversed with.

Despite Chris' antics, he is surprisingly intelligent about certain aspects regarding reading people and knowing whether they're lying or hiding something which I suppose could prove useful for us in the long term.

Pulling me out of my thoughts I hear the distant voices of two familiar people arguing.