Kang Chi: Beyond Life and Time

Chapter 10: Beyond Time: Unrequited Love

100-Year Inn, Hanyang, 1723

It was the 25th year since Kang Chi came back to the 100-Year Inn. And now, he must leave again to keep his secret hidden and allow this generation to pass. He should have done this move five years ago, but Cheong Sa begged him to stay. This time, he knew he could not-and should not-remain. He must leave if he still wants to live. Once his true identity becomes known, he did not want to imagine what humans could do to him. His father's fate was enough lesson for him about the nature of man and how they might respond to someone that they do not completely comprehend.

He knew Cheong Sa would have to go through the pain of being alone. He did not want her to, but she must, for both their sake. If the people find out that she is harboring a creature like him, her life could also be in danger. He must leave this place at once. He should not postpone any longer.

Five years ago, when he told her that he had to leave, Cheong Sa already knew the reason why. But she talked him into staying and agreed to let him go after five years. And that time has come.

He treaded the path to Cheong Sa's hanok and tapped on her chamber door.

"Deurooseyo." She softly answered. He did and sat down in front of her. She was, as usual, sitting behind the low table, but she was not completely facing him. She was half-turned, towards the south wall. Nobody dared to speak for a while.

"I wanted so much to be selfish and beg you once again to stay." Cheong Sa said, breaking the forlorn silence. "But I know I should not."

He could not find the words to say. He did not know how to comfort her. She remained motionless, still facing the south wall. She did not even turn to him when she spoke.

"But a promise is a promise." She continued. "I just hope your heart will still find a reason to come back."

He still did not know what to say to her, nor how to ease her pain. But he felt that the longer he stayed in front of her, the more painful his departure would be, especially for her. So, he gathered all the courage he could collect from deep inside him to be able to tell her a proper goodbye worthy of her nobility.

"I will always have a reason to come back." He began.

"What about a reason to stay?" She asked, as she turned to him. His heart ached when he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"You know that I do have a reason...to stay...Geunyang...."

"Geunyang...It isn't enough, geureojyo?" She said, finishing his sentence for him. "When will your reason to stay be enough? Has it ever been enough in the first place?"

No, it hasn't.

But, of course, he could not tell her that. It would be the death of her. He lowered his head in shame of himself. Cheong Sa had been nothing but noble to him. She is his employer, benefactor, family, friend...and lover.

But she was very much aware that his heart belonged to someone else. They never talked about it, but somehow, she knew. Just like her great-great-grandmother before her, she would have to settle for the next best thing he could offer-loyal friendship.

It would seem ungrateful of him to not acknowledge everything that she had done for him-especially the enduring love he is still not quite sure whether he is worthy of. But ungrateful he must be because for now, he must leave.

"It doesn't matter whether the reason to stay is enough or not." He told her instead. "Because I'm certain that I have enough reason to come back."

"Should I take your word for it?"

"Ye."

"A promise is a promise. A man shouldn't take it back once it's pronounced."

He just answered with a sad smile. He wanted so much to reassure her that he would not be far from her. That he would be keeping his eyes on her. That he would just be in hiding until this generation passes. But since telling her about it could put her in danger if ever his secret is discovered, he decided not to. Besides, they have a different concept of time, and a few years for him could mean a lifetime for her. She is a human-a woman-after all. She could still be happy somehow if she would choose to be.

"I'll just be here, waiting."

And just like that, the conversation was over. He stood up, bowed, and headed out.

With a heavy heart, he secretly left the 100-Year Inn and the life he had lived in it for twenty-five years. He treaded the path towards the mountains, into the forest, to the place where his life began. He was not certain if he could still find his way-it had been almost a century and a half since he had been there-but he knew he had to. He had nowhere to go for now but back to where the foundation of his existence is.

He arrived at the Moonlight Garden before sunrise. It was exactly like how it was, as if he was just there yesterday. Nothing had changed.

Geulsse...It really is mystical....

He entered the cave to take a rest. He was surprised to see everything in order, arranged properly as if someone is living there.

Could So Jung hyung be living here? Geulsse...Could he still be alive?

Since So Jung is a human, it would be impossible for him to still be living after almost a century and a half. Unless, of course, if he had already been reincarnated.

He settled himself in the cave, under the protection of the lush forest, hidden deep in the mystical mountains. The way to the place had not been easy to find then, and he is hoping it still is now. He could not afford to be discovered by someone nor be found by anyone.

Still, his indefinite time continues. And to make his stay in the place meaningful, he appointed himself as the new guardian of the mystical mountain, as his father was.

For the next twenty-five years, he lived his life alone, surrounded by evergreen foliage, endlessly flowing river, and unseen spirits and creatures inhabiting the mountain with him. From time to time, he sets out to visit the town and check on Cheong Sa. She was not aware that at times, beyond the darkness of the night, someone was watching over, and he made sure that it stayed that way.

On the thirtieth year since he left the 100-Year Inn, during a stroll to town to check on Cheong Sa, he saw her standing alone in the balcony, looking up at the night sky. He had no idea what she was thinking of, but he could still see the subtle smile on her lips that had always failed to hide the loneliness inside her. Her beauty is still unfading, but the years are undeniable. He knew that she chose not to get married, but at this point in her life, it is necessary to have someone by her side. He suddenly felt the urge to go back. Since most of the servants that he worked with before had either left, retired, or passed away, his true identity being discovered would not be much of a threat. And if someone ever recognizes him, he could just say that he is his own son.

Hiding in the dark, behind the sandalwood tree, he watched her, standing at the balcony, staring at the full moon. He thought that it would be the perfect time to fulfill his promise to her, and so, without any reluctance, he entered the North Gate just like he did fifty-five years ago.

Without saying a word, Cheong Sa turned her eyes to him, and the sweet smile that he had not seen since he left suddenly manifested itself.

"So, you have finally found a reason to come back." She said, teary-eyed.

"I didn't find it." He answered. "That reason had always been with me."

He went up the steps of the balcony to where Cheong Sa is, and for the first time since they met more than half a century ago, they held each other in a warm embrace.

"Butakhamnida, Choi Kang Chi...." She pleaded, her voice breaking.

"Geokjeong maseyo." He answered. "Yaksokhaeyo. I am not leaving you again."

For the proceeding years, he lived his life the way it was-as the manager of the 100-Year Inn. To be specific, as an all-around servant that the place desperately needed.

Fourteen years had passed since he came back. One night, when the moon was full, Cheong Sa pleaded him to stay by her side in her chambers. He did not want to, but something inside him told him he should. They spent a few good hours just talking about everything they could think of, and they were so happy he wished they could stay that way forever. Then, out of nowhere, she handed him a wooden box and instructed him to open it in the morning. She smiled at him as she touched his face. Her hands were cold, but they warmed his heart. He tucked her in when she said she wanted to rest and waited for her to fall asleep before he himself, did so.

And just like that, during a full moon in Autumn of 1767, Cheong Sa's life had stopped on her 90th year.