Chat with me [COMPLETED]

Part 19

"Thanks, mom," I smiled taking a cup of hot cocoa from her hands.

"So, will you tell me what is up with you or should I wait one more day?" she smiled at me softly while sitting on the stairs on the porch.

When yesterday I showed up at her door I couldn't stop crying. I cried on her lap like a little girl while she quietly patted my back. No words were needed, she just sat with me till morning and rocked me from time to time.

I literally felt dehydrated today with all tears I spilled.

"I am so confused momma. I feel like my life is slipping through my fingers and I can't do anything to stop it." I sobbed.

"You know you can tell me everything honey and I surely will try to help you out." she said looking at the field near our house.

We sat in silence for a couple more minutes and then I poured all that happened to me without leaving any details. She didn't know I was working at Sweet Talk simply because I knew she would be furious about it. But this time there was no place to hide stuff. I told her about Liam and Noah and my drunken behavior. When I stopped talking I felt like I could fly. Everything that was bugging me for so long seemed to go away and mom didn't even start to talk.

"Well, honey. That's a lot to take," she sighed loudly. "Why didn't you tell me you had such a job? I would help you with money if needed." she looked at me with concern in her eyes.

"Mom, you were supporting me all my life. I couldn't let you do it."

I remember the times when I had to spend evenings with mister Lukas, our neighbor. Mom had the second job and didn't want me to be alone. She was working like batteries trying to give me better childhood.

"But you are my daughter. You are my first priority. I would give up my life for you," she said hugging my shoulders.

The tears started forming in my eyes again. I hugged her back with a sad smile.

"I know mom. I know."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company Maggie." the voice came behind my back.

"Mister Lukas!" I beamed seeing an old but still good-looking man.

The time I spent at his house was one of the happiest moments in my childhood. He was a widower and had a son. He always allowed us to play till late at night and taught me how to bake muffins. I couldn't count how many times he protected me from the boys that bullied me at school. He was a real man in my childish eyes.

"Devina! So nice to see you! You grew up little girl," he winked at me and I could see my mom rolling her eyes at him.

"Oh come on, look at you, mister I-don't-get-old," I teased him back seeing his cheeks turn red.

"You can call me Lukas," he smiled and averted his gaze to mom. "So...I think I will catch up with you later, Maggie," he said almost shyly and went off.

I saw my mom trail her gaze after him and it clicked!

"Oh my God! Do not tell me!" I stood up looking at her.

"What?" she tried to play dumb but I knew that woman better than she thought.

"You and mister Lukas?" I asked smirking at her.

"It's not like I wanted it, honestly. He's just such pain in my ass," she trailed off hiding her face in her palms.

"Mooom, I don't need to know all the business between Lukas and your ass," I teased her again and she blushed harder. "So tell me, when and how it happened?" I beamed sitting back on the porch.

"When you went to live in the city-" she started but I couldn't hide my shock.

"When I left? It was more than 3 years ago. Why didn't you tell me?" I pouted at her.

"Just let me talk, will you?" she shot back at me. "When you left I felt so alone and sad. I quit my second job and had a lot of spare time so I was always spending time in the garden. Lukas suggested his help and I couldn't deny it, he was such a help when I needed to work late. So I took his offer and we started to spend a lot of time together. After a year of his constant compliments and propositions to have dinner with him I surrendered." she played with her fingers nervously. "I know you had a lot on your plate so I didn't want to tell you until it becomes serious."

"So almost three years is not serious for you?" I questioned her.

"It kind of is. His son got married a couple of months ago and Lukas suggested living together. I just was postponing it until I tell you about him." her voice was full of hope.

"Mom, you know I am happy if you are. But what about..." I trailed off not knowing how to say it. "Dad really hurt you. Aren't you afraid it will happen again?" I looked at her and wasn't expecting to see her smile.

"Honey, your dad was a lying cheating bastard. I should never marry him. But I was hoping that he would change for you. Thank God he left when you were little. But Lukas is nothing like him. He is caring and honest. You can't possibly think that every man is the same, can you?" she asked softly looking into my eyes.

But my expression told her everything.

"Oh my God, honey!" her voice broke and she hugged me tightly. "I am so sorry. This is all my fault." she started sobbing on my shoulder making my eyes water again.

She moved from me and cupped my puffy cheeks in her warm hands.

"Honey, my bad experience shouldn't affect your life. You need to trust people. No need to hold your guard up from everyone. You are so young; you need to be happy." she blinked at me with her crystal eyes.

"But what if I will get hurt the same way as you?"

"There is no way to know that, sweetie. You just need to live and see. Be yourself, don't hide your emotions. You are so bright. And from what I heard he definitely isn't like your father. I think he loves you." she gave me a knowing look.

She didn't need to say his name because I knew exactly who she was referring to.

"And I am quite sure you have feelings for him too," with these words she stood up and dusted her long skirt. "Come, let's make dinner and invite Lukas. I think we all should spend some time before you leave." she rushed inside leaving me sitting with a foggy mind.

Deep inside I knew he was making my heartbeat quicker but I tried not to think about it. I inhaled deeply feeling like I woke up from a long coma. All this time I was like a shell of a person but now I wanted to let myself go. I wanted to live.

An idea popped into my head and I ran inside seeking my old laptop.

I sat on the desk, opened a notepad and words just started pouring out of me. I wrote about my every step and my every emotion not leaving a single one out. I got so busy that only when my mom's head pocked into my room did I understand the dinner was ready.

"Shit! Sorry mom, I just felt like I needed to write everything down." I shot her an apologetic look.

"It's okay, just don't swear in front of me, young lady," she narrowed her eyes. "Come down we are waiting for you."

The rest of the evening we spent together. Lukas was telling me all the stories of how my mom tried to ignore him and how he lured her every time. They looked so adorable together helping each other with the dishes and holding hands from time to time. At that moment I felt so complete.

Well, no totally. I still had a lot to do to be completely happy. But I decided to stay for one more day and spent it in my room writing.

On Saturday I would have a long hard day but hopefully, everything would work out.