The Breeders

Bronze

Promptly four hours and fifteen minutes later, I jolted awake.
Something didn't feel right and I sure as shit wasn't gonna ignore it.
My clothes were viciously thrown on and my shoes just kinda plunked on.
Moving with as much grace as a baby giraffe, I stumbled half awake into the main lobby.
"You should be asleep."
My eyes squinted in the direction.
"Oh, maybe you are." A laugh fell from their lungs and I tried to pry my eyes open, the light burning.
"What happened-"
"What do you mean? We're having a shift change."
Doll's voice grunted behind me and she tried to pick me up.
"Get your hands off, I woke up out of dead sleep." I could sort of creak open my right eye.
"Herrent tried to take over shift, but fell down and is now in bed." My cheeks seemed to get their color back a bit.
"Is he okay?" A cricket could maybe have been heard.
"Doll. Is Herrent okay."
"He.. he broke his hip." Both my eyes shot open and I stared into her soul.
"No no no don't blame me-"
I whipped to the other shifter.
Cassie.
"Hey- woah- not me either-"
A warm hand plopped onto my shoulder.
"He slipped on some water that dropped from the ceiling."
Mark.
Out of the corner of my eye, Doll and Cassie shared a look.
"Can it, Doll." Her eyes whipped back to mine.
I grabbed his hand and took it off of my shoulder, stretching out. Each crack and pop held a wince from another party member.
"We have to get you adjusted again."
"Gabriel was taken." Cassie's eyes widened and I turned to go find Herrent.
"He's sleeping, body healing on its own."
"Not fast enough. We need to leave by noon."
"He'll be healed by eleven. Only if he keeps resting." A click left my tongue and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Who's next on shift? Is everyone sleeping still?"
"It's my turn next, the only person awake is you. Jackis woke up to use the bathroom but everyone is asleep now."
"You should go back to sleep, boss."
"I'm not gonna be able to sleep again. Need to clear my head."
"Your heart's still racing, but going outside may be hazardous."
"If I go up with a shifter I should be fine. Wanna come with, Cassie? Doll?" They both looked exhausted, battling their inner desire to sleep and keep me safe.
"I'm going up anyway. If you'd have me, I'd like to join." Mark extended his elbow out in a joking manner.
"Honestly, we're both pretty tired. It'd be nice to rest." Cassie turned as Doll nudged her.
They seriously aren't trying to set me up with the new guy.
After however many years.. you'd think they'd stop by now.
Once they retreated, Mark and I decided to head up.
"You're always on edge."
"Have to be. I never want to go back."
"That's understandable." He grabbed my arm to help pull me up and out of the bunker entrance.
"Thanks."
"No biggie~" He tried to keep lighthearted even though his voice dropped significantly in volume.
Night sounds filled the silent void. Crickets chirping, a wolf howling. The wind rustled the leaves high above us and the moon was a small sliver behind those leaves. It was cold, fall coming just around the corner.
A fabric suddenly fell on my shoulders. It was warm.
"You were starting to shake- sorry.." I only looked back at him, smiling.
"Thank you." We stood there for a while. I eventually closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh night air.
It smelled like fresh rain.. a piece of barley just cut..
My face scrunched.
"Jackass." He laughed at me as I shoved him lightly.
"What? I didn't do anything."
"My ass. You farted." He snorted, sitting down at his post. There wasn't an immediate danger, so I decided to join him.
"I don't mean to tell you what to do.. b-but um.. I think you should head inside." I only scrunched into a ball, sighing.
It was cold out here.
"Probably. But I'm not." I stared off into the night, listening and scanning for any signs of those fuckers.
"Just need to clear your head?"
"I can't help but have a shaky feeling."
"You said this has been going on since you were 7, right?" A nod.
"35 years is a long ass time to survive this. Of course you're shaky." A shiver ran through my body, my eyes heavy again.
"I just think we need to be careful.. about who's coming into the group.. from here on.. out.." Blackness surrounded my head now, my mind blanking as I decidedly passed out.

•••

Again, I jumped out of my skin waking up.
How could I have fallen asleep outside?!?
But, as I scanned around, I noticed I was back in the room I claimed.
"Fuck- what-" I sighed, tying up my hair and eventually getting up. Again, I stretched all my muscles and multiple bones popped.
"Oh, you're awake." The cage creaked as I opened the gated door.
"What's the time?"
"Quarter to eight." I nodded, stretching out my legs as I sat. A yawn came from deep within my gut as the silent morning was very welcome.
"As soon as Herrent is better, we're gonna move to the next bunker."
A few eyes glanced at each other.
"We.. we aren't going to be able to." I stopped sipping my water, eyes piercing into the one who spoke.
"And why's that." No question, straightforward demand for an answer.
"He's not.. he's healing like a human." The room grew cold as my face set in stone.
Without another word, I stood.
"Wait, don't bother him-" Her voice cut off as I swiftly tummled to my mentor's side.
"Herrent." Someone was attending to him, wrapping his wound.
"Ah, my sweet girl." He sounded like he didn't just break a hip.
"Please, give us some privacy." The person left, not looking me in the eyes.
"Herrent. I'm not ready." I kneeled by his side.
"It is my time."
"What..? You just broke your hip, n-nothing else!"
He ran his hand over my head.
"I've been on this planet for a long time, my dear. The hip was just the final straw." He coughed, grunting in pain. The muscles in my chin began to quiver.
"You just broke your hip.. that's it Herrent.." He kept stroking my head, watching my small movements and twitches.
He had ten days.. Ten days..
Finally, after a while, he spoke.
"I've been sick for a while."
My jaw clenched.
"But you knew that." Teeth ground together.
"Herrent, please. Hold on just for a little while longer. I'm not ready." A smile played on his face and I could tell there was something wrong. It was a slight movement, but he bit his tongue after it.
"Do you not trust yourself?"
It took awhile for me to respond.
"Not without you here." He looked at me for a long time after that. There was a kindness in his eyes.
After a couple moments, a smile formed as his cheeks creased with wrinkles.
"It's been a long time, dear." He spoke low, pulling me closer with each word.
"Herrent-" Pain emitted across his body as he raised an arm to cup my cheek.
"You are ready. Let your grief out, your anger and frustrations. Do not hold them back." Tears started to well up.
"Communicate with your pack, okay? They will look to your guidance now." He lowered his arm, sighing once more before closing his eyes.
"Let me rest, okay? I'll share the news." Little sobs fell from my throat as he turned to the side, huffing and momentarily holding his breath.
The person from before knocked, stepping back inside to change his water and cold rag.
I could hardly stand as he spoke to Herrent. My mentor. Everything I've ever known during the apocalyptic situation came from him. Each lesson he taught me, how the hell to spell my own nicknames. What each nickname even meant. How to handle the nitpicking. He stood up for me, then immediately taught me how to stand up for myself. Herrent taught me how to cook, how to hunt, how to run. He was the only person I trusted with my secret at first, but soon realized I needed to tell more than everyone I had a specific scent that needed to be covered.
He was my father figure after mine..
Well.

That'll come up later.

As soon as I left the room, I ran dead into Mark. He seemed rather surprised to see tears streaming down my face.
"Uh.." He still couldn't decide what to call me.
I darted around him and hustled over to my so-called bedroom.

•••

10am someone knocked on my door. Without needing to answer, the door opened and in came Doll.
"Herrent.. wants you there.." Silence filled the thick tension of the room, my lip quivering. Hers was too.
No words were exchanged as we walked to the room. No one questioned us as the crowd parted. Those in the group the longest we're at the front. Those who were in the middle and back were mixed of new and old.
"Seventeen.. sixteen.." My teeth grit as he sounded ten times worse from two hours prior.
"Herrent." Even that was enough to shake the group to its core. Sobs started huffing in the air, the ones not crying were trying to soothe those that were.
No one was allowed to refer to my number. Only him.
"Everyone, there is upsetting news on the horizon." The person that was catering to him as a nurse finally spoke, his own voice unsure of itself.
Try as he might, no further words could come out and Herrent smiled at him, nodding.
"It is.." Humans leaned forward to hear, shifters held their breath. Sobbing ceased only momentarily.
"A sad day.." He was wheezing, yet still held my hand tight. "..for every.. one involved.."
The air was hot from all the bodies in the room, and yet also felt ice cold.
His next words sliced through everyone as though they were made of flan.
"You are a team.. a family.. 1716 may be your.. new guidance.. but do not hesitate.. to question it either.. The best pack.. leads each other.." His words keeps getting weaker and weaker, until his eyes closed at the very last word, his body falling limp before his hand followed suit.
Silence fell across the room as people looked to me for some kind of reaction. Some form of "it's okay to cry now"
But no. I held onto his hand, held on as long as I could before realizing I was the one squeezing now.
"Herrent?" His name tumbled from my throat as a croak. A plea.
I dropped his hand and shook him a bit.
"Herrent?" Tears welled up again, as people now started to cry. The ones who held their emotions down were the shoulders to cry on.
And then Jackis started wailing, so someone led him out to cater.
I still felt eyes on me as the realization finally, finally sunk in.
I spiraled almost immediately.
Screams and shouts and cursing met each sob and with each sob came a heaving of sorrow. Silence sort of fell from behind me as people started to see my reaction, an unexpected but appropriate one.
And then I couldn't stand anymore, my knees giving out as I crumbled by his bedside. His deathbed.
Arms wrapped around me as I started clutching at his sheets, that same fabric soaking up my tears.
Somewhere between ten minutes and two hours later, someone helped me stand up.
I didn't want to even look at anyone in the face, my body shaking from the extremity of my weeping.
There wasn't a single pitiful glance I didn't feel. It was almost like everyone couldn't help it.
And then we had to bury him.
I wasn't allowed to see it, nor any of the humans. Our grief is an extremely powerful scent especially with all the tears and mucus.
I can guarantee they figured it was what they thought would be for the best.
And I can guarantee it was the worst thing we could have done.