Surprise?

Chapter Four

Shota and Hitoshi had created a new routine; go to school and work, eat dinner, get a sweet treat, go to the park, sleep (Shota goes to patrol), and repeat.
   Shota also had a routine at work, Hizashi and him began to talk more and more. The routine had been a comfort from the mayhem. Hizashi opened more about his life and Shota liked being apart of Hizashi's life again.
    But Hizashi wanted to break routine. Always trying to ask Shota if he would want to grab a drink or have dinner. Every time Shota would turn him down, but Shota could see how Hizashi would back off, saying less when the went for lunch. Their conversations dwindling back into horrible small talk.
    Shota looked at his calendar, the days got warmer , Hitoshi's birthday was two days away. Shota knew their routine would be broken up.
     Hizashi smiled at Shota as he walked into the teacher's lounge. Hizashi seemed happier as the summer months rolled in as well, "How's your day going, eraser?"
     Shota shrugged and continued with his work on his laptop. He knew another question was coming by the way Hizashi fidgeted, his leg bouncing and his fingers drumming quietly on the desk. "Do you think you'll be free next weekend?"
Shota looked over at Hizashi and saw the way he shrunk. "It's fine if you're not, I get it you're a busy guy! My birthday is something I forget about too. I was just going to go to a club or something!"
Shota cursed himself, Hizashi's birthday was only six day after Hitoshi's. He had tried so hard to forget about Hizashi that he was somewhat successful and forgot about his birthday. "I'll let you know by Friday, this month is busy for me."
Hizashi gave a thumbs up and quickly unpacked his computer, noticeably happier than before. And Shota always loved that puppy-like excitement.

During lunch Hizashi dragged Shota to a small diner, somewhere new. Shota nervously got a black coffee and watched Hizashi happily eat a fried chicken sandwich with way too much sauce. He still could never understand how Hizashi at so much and was still so skinny. Shota sipped his coffee and looked out the window, watching the people passby.
    "Do you have a girlfriend?" Hizashi asked Shota, too casually for a heavy question.
    Shota burned his tongue as he was sipping on his coffee. Shota was never necessarily in the closet, his sexuality had never been questioned by his friends. Nemuri knew now but he had come out to her only a few years ago.
    He shook his head and looked down at his coffee. He nervously rubbed his neck as he did.
    "You sure? I don't care, but you say you're busy and it doesn't actually sound like work and sounds like you're hiding someone." Hizashi said as he wiped sauce of his hands, his big green eyes calculating Shota's every move.
    Shota wished Hizashi didn't pick up on that, sometimes he wished Hizashi wasn't so damn smart, "I," he hesitated, he wasn't going to tell Hizashi about Hitoshi yet but it wouldn't hurt to come out, he really didn't want to deal with that awkward conversation and later. "I'm gay," he quickly continued, "I am busy with patrols. They've been giving me more hours since less people are joining underground work, reports are increasing. As well as grading. I sleep less than I usually have. If I wanted to date I have no time for it."
     None of those things were a lie, he just failed to mention he had a four year old son. Hitoshi had begun to notice it as well and Shota felt guilty not wanting to burden his son with his sleep deprivation.
    But that didn't matter to Hizashi, he looked shocked and confused. He pushed his sunglasses up and higher on his nose, "You're gay?" He gave a laugh and looked completely shocked.
    Shota nodded and sipped more of his coffee. He wasn't sure why, but he really didn't want to talk about this with Hizashi, he felt a but embarrassed discussing his sexuality with someone who made him question his sexuality. "Did you just never tell or was it more recently that you found this out?"
    Shota swallowed hard, it was becauseof Hizashi but it was definite after that night. "It was after..." Was he really going to admit being sexually assaulted to someone who he just gotten his almost friendship back with? "...something happened going into third year with a girl and I just knew I didn't like women."
Hizashi frowned at Shota's words, something in Hizashi's mouth twitching felt like he had dealt with something in similar experience and Shota felt rage and guilt boil under his skin. He could never think of Hizashi being hurt. "Did something bad happen to you, Sho?"
Shota froze, Hizashi hadn't called him that in since the night they first met. Why was the name used in such terrible situations.
    Shota cleared his throat and raised his coffee mug back to his lips, "I don't want to talk about it, like you said, it's in the past." Hizashi looked at him with a somber look, "Stop being sad, you look ridiculous with your costume."
    Hizashi laughed quietly and waved his hand like he was trying to dismiss his own bad thoughts, "Yeah, you're right, it's in the past..."