【ｍｙ ｂｅａｕｔｉｆｕｌ ｂｏｙ】|| Hisoillu

Heartbreak ||

Illumi's POV:

Hisoka stared at me. My heart ached. It was that look again, stop looking at me that way..

I was about to turn away and then he grabbed my arm, tightly.

"Illumi." He said in a serious tone. Why weren't you stretching your words?..

I don't like this at all.. Though I guess I'm part of the blame..

I gulped before saying something. "What." I didn't even have the courage to look at him anymore.

Get It Together Illumi.

"You're never like this, look at me Illumi." He said, holding my arm tighter.

At this point It hurt. My bones were on the verge of cracking. "What do you mean?" My voice was shaky, I didn't want It to seem as If I was scared but It just came out like that.

He softened his grip and I let out a sigh of relief and swiftly pulled my arm away from his hand.

He had a heart broken look on his face. "Stop making that face.." I quietly said.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be heart broken.." I knew he could hear me but at this point I didn't care.

Before he could reach to grab me again I walked off. My heart hurt, It was painful to leave him like that..

I texted Chrollo to meet me at his locker again and he replied with 'Alr'.

I sat down in front of his locker with my head in my knees before I saw a silhouette tower over me.

I was too dozed off to notice the presence but when I looked up to see who It was I was surprised to see.. him.

"Hello!~" Hisoka said, cheerfully now. He had a smile on his face though a not so genuine one.

"Fuck off." I seemed to have said it quite demandingly.

"Awe~ Why so cold?~" He bent down to reach my height while I was sitting.

"Come on~ You can't stay mad at me forever you know~" Hisoka said as he smiled.

What did he think this was? Some sort of sorry mistake? This was big, not one of those small mistakes he's done in the past.

"Yes, I can. And I will." I punched him In the nose and got up.

He fell slightly and he quickly held his nose. It was bleeding, the stench of blood clogged my nose.

The stench of his blood. I have a very good nose though when It comes to blood I wish I didn't have such a good one.

"Not gonna aid me?~" He looked at me and let go his hand. "Or do you like the smell of my blood?~"

He knew I had a small weakness to his blood. I hated him for using it against me.

I gave him a death glare before I walked away from him.

Before long he caught up to me. "Illu~ Can I come over today?~"

"No." I said rudely. He was a man who didn't keep to his word I can't trust someone like that.

"Is this about the promise? I swear, this wasn't intended to happen." He spoke.

"I can't trust a man who doesn't give any effort to stick to his word." I said before finally finding Chrollo.

"Heyy!!" He paused for a moment and looked at both me and Hisoka.

"So i'm taking it you guys made up?" He continued and then I sighed.

"I would never make up with such a fiend again." I said before grabbing Chrollo's arm and walking away.

Me and Chrollo sat in silence at the baseball field. I was about to say something before I was swooped away from Chrollo by somebody.

And of course, It was him. God awful, Hisoka. "What do you want? Just leave me alone already."

I snapped. I hated him, I hated him with all my guts.

Then I realized. All this, over a promise? I had many doubts why am I pressed by this?

"Come on Illumi, you have to listen to me." He spoke In a serious tone.

"Why shou-" He covered my mouth before I could finish my sentence.

"Listen." He spoke In a deeper, more serious tone than before.

I looked away and silently nodded.

"Angela, she said if we got engaged she'd leave you alone and stop misgendering you." He paused.

"I did it so that you could live a happy life without her, though I promise you that I had our promise in my mind the whole time, I'm sorry I betrayed your trust Illumi."

I wanted to forgive him.. since the very start I wanted to, but he..

"Can you forgive me?" Hisoka asked. I realized that his grip had softened so I slipped out of his reach.

"I'm not completely sure yet.." I got up and left him there.

I didn't want to trust so easily. I was scared.

It broke my heart to just walk away like that. "Why must you be so nice to me?.."

I murmured. If he were mean It wouldn't be as hard to let go right..?

I slapped myself. "You've got It all wrong idiot, just forgive him and everything will be back to normal.."

I stopped In place and turned back to look at Hisoka.

We made eye contact quickly, I didn't want to say anything as I was terrified for his reaction.

I quickly shifted my eyes away from Hisoka and went to Chrollo.

We talked until the end of the day. Then we agreed that we'd try to cool things down before going back to normal.

That night I couldn't sleep at all, I was just screaming In to my pillow and crying.

The tears wouldn't stop, It was endless. Why am I crying over him?

Why am I crying In the first place? Assassins should never cry. They don't need anybody. Emotions and people only get In the way of everything. Especially those who you've grown close to. They're always just getting In the way.

I wiped my tears and checked the time. '4:38am..' It read.

I looked In the mirror, my hair was messy, my eyes were puffy and red, and my cheeks has also been red.

I looked hideous.. I cleaned myself up and got most of the puffy and redness away.

I then layed on my bedroom floor contemplating, 'Should I forgive him..? What If he just uses me again..?'

I shook away the thought, I hate him. I'll forever hate him. That's how it'll all end.

Why Is it so hard to just let go..? I'm supposed to hate him.. aren't I?

I then realized... I've only ever convinced myself that I've hated him..

Though.. I don't really hate him... I've known that deep down since forever..

I started crying yet again. 'Stop crying.. you're supposed to be an assassin..'

I repeated those words until... 

( HMMM should I make a nice or mean chapter next time🤨 yall can pick>:] )

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