dehydrated

tired

"One second Zayn, I need to deal with this-" I don't even know what to call him, he's to sick to be called a random guy, or just a guy. What he did to you was fucking twisted.

"Take your time, Harry." Zayn smiles at me, turning to face the girl next to him.

I turn in my seat back to him. Back to him.

"Oh hey, haven't seen you in a while." I stand up, he grabs my hand and pulls me into a tight hug, patting my back in a try-hard comforting way.

"I know mate! The footy team really misses you."

"Yeah well, tell them I miss them!" In truth, no I don't miss them. Ever since you got beaten up during practice I haven't gone back. Also I can't stand Liam Payne after you got the courage to tell me what he did to you.

"Will do, but I have some questions, friend to friend you know." He smiles, I nod my head along to his words.

"Go ahead, Payno."

"Where have you been, mate? You haven't been coming to footy or school in general." How do I put this lightly.

"Oh yeah I've just been tired lately you know how it is."

I kick the grass on our feet as we walk around the football pitch, no one's on there except the two of us, hidden behind the school hall so no ones around.

"Totally, what about practise though..?" He rubs my back while speaking.

Get of me you fucking prick.

"Oh you know, fell out of love with the sport I guess."

"That's the sad reality with sports mans, or even just sport players," At this point I want to leave, I nod before turning to go back to Zayns table.

"Well I've got to-"

"No no, I'm not done with the questions yet." He grabs my wrist tightly, covering his manipulative side with a smile.

"Okay what other questions could you possibly have, Liam."

"Where's Louis? And how is he?"

"He hasn't fucken gotten over it, Liam. Now let go." I try to release his tight grasp but it only gets tighter.

"Who is Harry? And where is Louis? and what did he tell you."

"I am Harry. Louis is dead and he told me about the piece of shit you are." I raise my hand, after realising that it's in a fist.

Both his hands are gripped onto me so I do what I feel like is the only reasonable thing to do.

I hit him. I leave a mark on his right eye, he winces, letting go and falling to the ground. Screaming over the pain, I pend down to him.

"You're a fucking piece of shit and I hope you burn in hell."

He covers his eye with his hand and nods, knowing what he did I don't know how he lives with himself. But I don't care.

"Fuck you Liam Payne." I kick him once before turning around, no one in sight. Jogging away when I hear Liam starting to pick himself up.

~~
"I don't think I can survive class' guys, I'll just call Lottie to pick me up." I say, picking up my bag after I get to the table.

"What happened mate, and where's Liam gone?" Niall coughed after lighting his cigarette, how are they allowed on school grounds?

"Let me just go." My ears feel blocked as I start to turn away.

"You're not giving up that fucking easily, Harry." Niall grabs my arm, I look at him, Zayn behind him stares into my soul. All i feel is guilt.

"Next period starts in," He looks at his watch, "10 minutes? How are you feeling?"

Truthfully, like actual shit, "Alright. I guess."

"You want a cigarette? Make you feel better." He reaches out for me, barely holding on.

"Uh no- I've actually given up on smoking and drinking so- sober as a dog." Ever since the last time I've seen you, I haven't put a fag or bottle to my lips.

Makes me sick to even think of eating or drinking anything.

"No wonder you've been going crazy, breath. Harry. What would Louis say too you if he found out what you're doing right now?"

"Probably hit me before bumming me in the bathroom? He would get upset that I'm dwelling in the past, i'm sure."

"Well we can find someone else to fuck you-"
The thought of that sent a shiver up the back of my spine, right before the now cold soup came up my throat.

"I'm sorry-" I push my feet of the sodden floor, pushing myself into the shrubs next to the picnic table.

My whole stomach comes up, as I'm left gagging on a nothing left. My stomach that empty that there's nothing left to vomit.

"Jesus Harry, I'm sorry!" Niall says running up to me. I use my hand to signal away, not wanting him any closer.

"I think I'm okay, nothing left in my stomach." I say, whipping my chin and turning around.

"No you're not. You're in no fit state for school yet, Harry." Zayn says to me, getting to his feet.

Everyone's looking, for the first time everyone's looking at me.

The urge to do the one finger salute at all of them hits me harder than a wrecking ball. But i don't. I can't.

"Lottie's on her way." Niall says to me, how did he have the time to fucking text her and she respond?

"Thanks."

"Sorry for pushing it." Niall says, wrapping his arm over me.

"You didn't push anything, but I do need a favour."

~~

"What happened? Niall told me you freaked and spilled your guts everywhere, why?"

"I'm tired."

I say, immediately facing away from her as soon as I get into her car, she's gotten some weeks of school due to her circumstances. I haven't, I've just been skipping for the past weeks.

She's found a new bit of time on her hands, tidying the house and looking after the twins more than usual, normally Félicité would look after them.

"I am worried about you, Harry. This isn't normal behaviour, I get woken up in the middle of the night by your screaming. Calling his name, you know i miss him aswell. My fucking brother Harry!"

I hear the disgust in her voice, she surely hates me.

"I'm sorry." My silence obviously spoke to her as upset, "I love you."

~~