The flower does not dream of the bee

6- you're nothing but not to me

October 2nd

"I'm not qualified to fix those kinds of problems, Kylo, you should seek help from a professional. Answer my question."

You crossed your legs, mimicking his position. This conversation had not gone the way you had planned. You simply wanted him to apologize, maybe admit that it was wrong to act as if you didn't exist when he was in public, maybe make you feel like you were worth something and that he actually cared about your emotions.

But no, he would simply argue.

"Ask it again, you talk so much I forgot what it was."

You gowned in frustration at his remark. The audacity this man had was beyond your limit for straight white men. You breathed in and out, trying to calm your nerves, as he raised an eyebrow, making a big thing of looking at his watch to check how much time he was wasting on this conversation.

"Why do you ignore me when we're in public," you said frankly, the painful pitch of your voice betrayed the feelings you were trying to keep hidden from him, and honestly, from yourself.

"Should I not? Should I walk up to you while you're laughing with another guy? Should I throw you on the table and fuck you while he watches? Is doing it behind closed doors not enough?" The anger in his tone grew as he spoke and you could help but stare at the rug at your feet. "Is that what you want? To be paraded around like a slut in public so everyone knows who's cock you sit on."

"Don't fucking talk to me like that, you fucking asshole! Stop exaggerating everything, that's not what I meant and you know it. Now stop asking fucking questions and answer mine." You clenched your hands around the armrest, forcing yourself to stay sitting.

"Having me wasn't enough I see, you had to go run after Vicrul and now after Finn."

"How do you even know Finn?" you asked, shocked that he brought him up in the discussion that was slowly turning into a war.

"That does not concern you."

"You keep talking about him, and Vicrul, like you're obsessed with them. How about you go suck one of their dicks and learn a little?"

You saw him opening his mouth and closing it, his brain acting faster than his ego and stopping him before he could throw another insulting question in your direction. He pressed his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes for a second, looking exasperated. He probably hasn't had someone shout at him in the last decade, maybe his ear drums needed a minute of adjusting.

"How would you feel," he started, "if I flirted with that three-buns girl or the blond one?"

You stared at him, turning the question in your mind.

Fair point, he had made.

Although you would never admit that it would pain you to see him devote his attention to other women, you could still acknowledge the fact you both weren't in anything close to a committed relationship with each other. And that didn't technically stop him from pursuing another romantic path. You'd hate it though, and you'd dislike your friends as well.

You gave a quick thanks to whoever was responsible for making your friend group's choices in men, glad that you all had a different type.

Rude tall men did it for you apparently.

"You could if you wanted to," you replied passively, attempting to sound disinterested.

"I'm not asking for your permission, I'm asking how you would feel."