Give Me Love

Chapter one

A/N: I do not promote self-harm or suicide. If you need someone to talk to you can always message me. X

I open the door and walk inside. I am soaked. I had walked through the rain for hours, hoping it would help me clear my mind. But that was not the case. His words just kept running through my mind. Over and over again. ''Why did you do this to me? I really cared about you.'' Cared. Past tense. Hearing the most important person in your life saying they do not care about you anymore has to be the worst feeling ever. He hates me. But who wouldn't? I'm a terrible person. 

Tears are streaming down my face, mixing with rain drops falling from my hair. My makeup is smeared all over my face. But it doesn't matter. I walk into the bathroom and open the cabinet above the sink.

The blade feels cold against my forearm. But this time the pain inside of me doesn't seem to disappear. I did not notice how deep my cuts were until I saw blood splattering on the white bathroom floor.

I walk towards the bathtub and turn on the tap. While the bath is filling I grab the bottle with my sleeping pills from the cabinet. I slowly take off my wet clothes and I let them fall to the ground. My white T-shirt slowly starts fading dark red, laying in the mess that I just had caused. I pick up the empty glass that stands on the sink and fill it with water. I feel sick of the idea of what is going to happen next. I feel everything come up and lean forward, vomiting in the sink. It feels like all the bad things I had said in the past couple of weeks came out. With my hands resting on the edges of the sink, I slowly look up and see my reflection in the mirror. I am a mess. I feel broken. Lost.

I walk into the bedroom grab my diary. I tear out a page and grab a pen. This is it. Time to say goodbye.

Harry,

I am sorry for everything.

Everything I have done. Everything I have said.

I dragged you into my problems. You did not deserve this.

You deserved so much better. And I did not deserve you.

I did not want it to end like this. But I have to do this.

I can not keep going any longer.

This is better for everyone. You will be better off without me.

I don't want to hurt you anymore.

Love,

Sam.

The ink is smeared all over the paper because of my tears falling onto it. Tears of sorrow. But also of relief.

In a few minutes I will be free. Free from all the pain.

Free from this hell, free from everything.

Finally, I will be free.