Story of my life

One of the worst Day

1st October 2021

My University started in January. And we all were new to everyone. I didn't had any friends. Then after few days a girl started hanging with me. She was living in hostel and she had other friends too. I didn't ask her to accompany me and hang with me.

After few days, she introduces me to her another friends and one other girl also joins us and then we make a little group and also a gc. There were total 5 girls in the group including me. It was all well. But one girl started to ghost us all. And I feel like she didn't want to stay with us in the group and she was giving cold vibes too. After few months she started hanging with other grp. After that only 4 were left in the group. But slowly and gradually the other 3 started hanging out together without even informing me.  They even bought same tops to wear. They started making me feel left out and then make another gc in which I was not there. I got to know about another gc thing by seeing the notification on one of the girls phone.

One day She was bitching about other girls and at that time I pointed out that I'm the one who is left out and they even had another gc and all the stuff. And she didn't had any answer.

And whenever, when I used to ask them to inform me about wherever they're going so I could also join them they would give reasons and sometimes ignore me and doesn't even reply.

And before one week of my exams they all ignored me and made me feel left out and done all the stuff to make me feel alone. They didn't even let me make another friends too when I was with them. So I don't have another friends to talk to or to keep company. This all took a toll on me and my exams were also affected which was there in August.
Now only 1 girl from that grp who introduced me to them messages me about what they're currently doing. Like yesterday they were having sleep over. And she messaged me to say this. I couldn't understand why she felt the need to share this now knowing it would hurt me more.

And yess I agree they're super toxic. They used to make me bunk classes- the  Worst thing I've never done in my life. To miss my classes☹. I've bunked only 3 - 4 classes tho and not more than that. I stopped bunking my classes for them so my studies won't get affected by them.

I left the gc last week only. I should've done it before only. And whenever I meet them they're always like we are friends 🤢 but no they treated me sh!tty. Now it's been more than 1 month (I guess) we all didn't meet ( Actually I didn't meet them). But 2 girls- one girl who introduced me to them messages me telling what all the activities they're doing together and sometimes ask me about the exams and how it's going.

When she started dating a guy from my University I was the last person she shared the news with.
And 2nd girl messages me and only asks me about my exam preparation (she competes with me😑) or what currently I'm doing
And the 3rd girl stays least bothered and doesn't even message me. And idk why but I'm happy about that😅😂.

I don't know why both messages me when they don't want me around. And also that 1st girl shares their plan what they're gonna do and all that stuff. I can't understand why they still message me.

But this kinda now broke me and I can't trust anyone rn to start a new friendship. I used to share things with them and now I'm not even comfortable doing that with anyone irl. Like sharing things not only materialistic but also talking with them. And sometimes I miss that time so called "happy times".

Everything is soo messed up🙁

Rn I'm trying to keep myself busy in other things. I'm trying to move on and giving time to myself. I'm resuming TVD series which I left because of the tight schedule I had. And I'm gonna start reading Pride and Prejudice.