Carry

1.

Itachi sometimes humoured himself by trying to imagine how he would've behaved differently, had Shisui not been part of his life.

Truth was, if Shisui hadn't chosen the seat right next to Itachi on that day five years ago when they attended their first lecture, Itachi would probably have done a lot of things differently. Itachi had changed so much these past five years. How much of that change was Itachi himself and how much was Shisui was impossible to say. However, it was certain that there would've been a difference.

Shisui had an ability to dampen Itachi's more insecure, laid-back personality and kindle the aspects he loved about himself like his fragility and his sensitive side. Shisui brought out the essence of Itachi, making him more outgoing, more sociable yet giving him enough space to recover when needed. He loved that about Shisui.

But on this occasion, Itachi believed he would've actually behaved more lively had Shisui never become part of his life. It was their graduation from university, see, and had Itachi been alone, or with his friends, or with someone else, he believed he would've stood in the midsts of the crowd of freshly graduated students clad in dark red capes, throwing their hats into the air.

But not now.

Now, he stood to the side, a warm smile on his face. He didn't want to film. He didn't want to document. He wanted to create a memory. He watched as Shisui jumped around on the floor of the great hall, holding the shoulders of their friends, throwing his hat into the air, the characteristic, wide grin lightening up not only his face but the entire room and also Itachi's life. "Didn't you miss out?" their friends would ask him afterwards. "No", Itachi would say. He wanted to capture this moment, store it in the corner of his heart where he stored his most precious memories.

Shisui, being a bit distraught as he always was, didn't notice Itachi wasn't part of the circle of friends celebrating at first. Many partners might've been upset about this, but not Itachi. He actually loved that aspect of Shisui, how he could zone out, have a sort of tunnel vision as he ploughed through life. But even if Itachi was momentarily forgotten, the reaction from Shisui when he finally noticed Itachi wasn't therewould capture Itachi's heart.

Itachi saw Shisui's face change from the moment he realised something was missing to the moment he realised it was his fiancé Itachi to the moment he started looking around him, desperate to find his shorter half. And Shisui's face when his eyes captured Itachi's was worth the entire world, thought Itachi. His face lit up like the sun, scorching down from a summer sky on Itachi. Everything around them disappeared then, created a bubble that captured them no matter how far apart they were, blurring out the colours and the sounds on the outside but making them that much stronger within, where there was only the two of them.

"Hello, fiancé", Shisui murmured after having walked up to Itachi, taking Itachi's left hand clad in his engagement ring he'd just received, entwining their fingers softly. Itachi couldn't breathe. Shisui backed him slowly to the wall, pushed him against it by putting his knee against Itachi's groin. He leaned forwards. "You wallflower, you", he purred into Itachi's ear.

A shiver went through Itachi's thighs then; even after their almost five years together, Shisui could still have this effect on him. Their love had smoothed out from a rocky passion to a comforting path in the mountains, yes, but the hike that was their relationship sometimes encountered more exciting parts. Like this one. And Itachi was touched; just like he loved the parts of Shisui's personality that by many would be deemed as negative, Shisui loved the more laid-back parts of Itachi that some would find irritating. When Shisui called his fiancé a wallflower, it was with a lot of love.

Itachi put his arms around Shisui's shoulders then, hugged him close. Shisui put his large, warm hands on Itachi's waist, caressing it as he hid his face in Itachi's long, silky hair.

And they encapsulate themselves in a world where they protected each other. 

They spent that summer travelling their home country. Since they bought their apartment together, Shisui had very little money and they hadn't yet except for their small side jobs they'd had during their time as students, so they couldn't go abroad. Itachi could pay for Shisui, mind, and he suggested it several times.

"It's not pride, Itachi!" Shisui would say forcefully. "I just want to be able to pay for myself from now on."

Itachi respected that

They had the greatest time exploring beautiful aspects of the country they lived in. Some nights, they took into a hotel, Shisui having scraped up enough money for that, at least. A few, they slept in their car, parked at the edge of a steep after a serpentine climb up the mountains, falling asleep comfortably after intensely making love. They sat at beaches, Itachi's head on Shisui's shoulder, talking in front of a campfire Shisui had made because apparently, he'd been a boy scout as a child. They explored big cities where they had cheesecakes from cafes and falafel rolls from food trucks. They walked through forgotten alleys at night, over beautiful fields in the beautiful morning sun. They were away for two weeks, and it were some of the best weeks of Itachi's life. When they came home, they were both exhausted, staying in their small apartment they'd made into a home for a full week before they could start enjoying the rest of the summer together with their friends and each other.

After five weeks of freedom, they started working. Shisui had gotten a place at a huge company as one of their web developers. Itachi had gotten a place at a smaller company as a programmer, not being paid as much as Shisui but enjoying other benefits like an hour to workout during paid working time and and a laptop ideal for programming. He desperately needed a new one, having had the same since he started university five years ago. He'd loved that laptop to pieces, even buying Shisui one as a Christmas gift their first Christmas together mostly due to Shisui's bad handwriting and his inability to buy one himself due to poor economics, but it was slowly dying.

Itachi loved his new working life. It was longer hours than at university, less days off, but the freedom of coming home after a full day of working and be free of studies and also having every weekends completely off was indescribable to Itachi. He could come home to Shisui cooking. Or Itachi came home earlier than his partner when Shisui was at his twice-a-week Zumba class with his mother's partner Guy and so he could cook for him. In the evenings, they'd relax together or separately. On Saturdays, they'd clean. Some weekends, they went out clubbing or bar hopping with their friends. Those nights, they ended way up in heated play in the bedroom, their usual mild, tender relationship and sex life being exchanged for something else entirely once they'd both been drinking.

"I'm too old for this!" Shisui would groan the morning after. "Twenty-seven is too old to be drinking!" Itachi just laughed as he took care of Shisui. "How come you're all refreshed?"

"I'm only twenty-four!" Itachi said happily. 

Shisui's intolerability to alcohol had always amused Itachi; Shisui was tall, broad, muscular whereas Itachi was small. It should really be the other way around, but Itachi had had to take care of a hungover Shisui several times during their relationship even if Shisui didn't drink that much more than his fiancé did.

They were all in all very happy.

At least for the first few weeks after they started working.

Then, something changed.