Another Lost Soul

Chapter 12

Rather than going hole after helping River, I found my way to Xin, the city Jalaiah lives within. I walked to the arena and placed my hand on one of the pillars holding it up.

If only this place was as weightless as the lives it took. I know this is the first place Alenor will look for me if I don't return before morning, so I sit down against the pillar and close my eyes.

"Are you feeling homesick?"

I flinched and jolted to my feet, holding both arms crossed in front of my face. "Relax, it's just me." Jalaiah gently pushed my arms down. "What are you doing here, Amir?"

"I don't know..."

"You look lonely."

"I feel lonely."

"Want some company?" He sat down, watching me do the same. "I bet Alenor's worried about you."

"I don't know why he's going through so much trouble to find that creature." I pulled my knees to my chest. "It's cruel."

"He cares a lot for you."

"I've done very little to earn that."

"Before you left, you were his pride and joy." He laughed softly. "You still are...that's why he's so afraid. Han threatened to hurt the one person he swore to protect."

"I can protect myself."

"You don't even remember the spells he's taught you. You can't protect yourself."

"I don't like that you two keep trying to keep me safe. It makes me feel guilty."

"He just don't want to see you get hurt. Frankly, neither do I."

"Why? What have I done to deserve it? Why give a shit about my life?"

"Why not? Have you done something to make us dislike you?"

"I don't know- I don't know anything."

"You're a good person and you're important to us. Believe it or not, I watched you grow up by Alenor's side. I've seen the kind of person you are and it's not someone who deserves to be tortured."

I clenched my fist, voice breaking a bit when I spoke. "Im not! Im not even- I...I-I don't even know who I am! I don't know where I am or what I've done to deserve either of you! I'm not a good person. I'm not an apprentice. I'm not even sure I know my full name!"

"Amir Jakolm Hennson."

"I don't know who that is." My jaw tightened. "I don't know what to do....I'm so confused and I have so many questions that nobody will answer."

"Amir, no matter what you know and what you don't, you're very important to Alenor."

"Why?!" My voice burst from my lungs, stinging my throat as the heavy emotions slipping through my fingers settled onto Jalaiah's shoulders. Tears filled my eyes, my voice a tone that I could tell was heartbreaking for him to hear. "Why am I so important...? Why me?"

He said nothing, only the shuffling sound of his clanky sword in my ears as he stood up and moved in front of me.

"I don't deserve it."

He got down on one knee and wrapped his arms around me, holding my head against his chest. "You left everything you love behind to save his life. Don't doubt yourself because you don't know your story yet. How can you make a judgement on someone you know nothing about?"

"I-"

"Stop trying to sell yourself short, Kid."

I felt my lungs ache, trembling in his arms as my voice softened. "I just want to die already and skip the hard part."

"You don't have far to go, I promise."

"I need to talk to Han." I wiped my eyes and stood up, pulling him with me. "Where can I find him?"

"Why do you need to speak with him?"

"If Alenor can't find that thing and Han tries to make me work for him, Alenor will take my place, wont he?"

He looked down. "Yes."

"If it comes to that, I want to make sure Han won't let him."

"But-"

"Please."

"...I'll tell him."