the poem of how it don't get better

sene 1

*ty for everyone who reads this, im sorry if you go through any of this, if you ever need advice or someone to talk to im here DM me*

as I sit here alone in my room thoughts flood in,

my brain is tired and aching to let go of everything

I promised that person I wouldn't do it again

I promised that person I wouldn't take away all my pain in one cut

I promised that person I would live a full life,

even if its not happy Im still living it, every painful moment

that person would be dissapointed in me if I cut again,

truth is sometimes I think I don't care 

but reality I do I just want a reason to push them away.

I want to push them away so they don't hurt me 

or so I don't hurt them, they say they can handle my depression

but how can they handle it if I cant even handle it my self

but then again they are more stable than me, 

but who knows they could be struggling to 

they're probably just handling it better than me,

but maybe they're not going through shit

maybe they have their life together 

maybe they can think straight

maybe they can wake up every morning get out of bed and think positive thoughts

maybe they can eat just fine with out feeling guilty

or having to throw everything back up

maybe one day they will understand how I feel

and say sorry for not letting me take the pain away

like how i wanted it......