Enemies with benefits {21+}

~Twelve-Leave Me Alone~

~Y/N POV~

I had never admitted this to anyone. Barely even myself. Whenever Jungkook got his first real girlfriend in middle school, I mean yes I was a little jealous but I didn't really care that much. I just still wanted to be friends with him. But it seemed like the longer the time he spent with his girlfriend, the more he ignored me. The more he seemed to not care about me. The more he seemed to almost forget me. Like I was invisible. I was heartbroken. I loved him. I thought it was in a friendly way at first but I didn't want to admit it to myself or anyone that I liked him all these years. More then I thought I did. Seeing him go around and sleep with different girls hurt me but I still had hope that there may be even the slightest chance that he still cared for me as he still tried to get to me. And I honestly keep it going not only for the sake of me own body and worth but also because I thought he would just go back to sleeping around and forget me as he had already gotten me after I gave myself to him. But to my surprise he didn't exactly do that but he still flirts with other girls. But what was I expecting. I just miss everything about what we used to be. I miss him so much. That's part of the reason why I'm crying so damn hard. These are all of my thoughts when I even just look at him. Wether it's talking to other girls or just him standing in front of me.

(Back to jk at the house and someone who opens the door. Yea sorry if this part's confusing.)

~JK POV~

"Oh? Jungkook! What are you doing here?"

"Hey Lisa. I'm actually here to give this to y/n."
I put my hand out in front of me to where Lisa could see the jacket.

"Oh! Right I'm I can give that to her if you want. But you should also come in. My boyfriend isn't here right now so..." She said while grabbing the jacket and then touched his chest, playing with the fabric.

"Uh...well I actually wanted to give it to her because I need to talk to her." "Oh. About what?" "About what happened...at detention."

"Oh! You were there to? What did you do bad boy?" She said in a seductive voice. "I was talking to much. May I come in now." "Oh really you did?!"

At this point I was getting really annoyed with her so I just let myself in and walked past her. I heard her call my name but I didn't listen nor pay attention. I hadn't been here in a while but it is almost the same as when we were younger. She stayed in the same house while I had moved since then.

I made my way up the steps and if I remembered correctly her door was to the right of the bathroom located at the end of the hall. I walked up to the door and knocked.

"Lisa can you please go away! I'm not in the mood." She sounded really sad.

"y/n. It's me."

~Y/N POV~

"Lisa can you please go away! I'm not in the mood." I was already really sad and I didn't want to talk to her because I know she would bug me and I wasn't in the mood for that right now.

"y/n. It's me."

I was shocked when I heard Jungkook's voice. It made me mad for some reason.

"what do you want! Did you not remember me saying to leave me alone!? Do you not know what that means!? Are you stupid!?" I said through the door. I heard him get closer to the door. He was probably leaning his head on it.

"y/n. I brought your jacket just let me return it." "your lying! This is why-" "Do you ever shut up! Be quiet. I have your jacket. Open the door and see for yourself."

I was hesitant at first but than I walked over to my bedroom door and opened it a little so that I could peek out and stick my hand out if I wanted to.

I looked out and then made direct eye contact with him. "See! I wasn't lying." I looked down at his hand. "Fine whatever!" I grabbed the jacket from his hand and was about to shut my door back. But he stopped me by pushing the down back.

"y/n?! Can we please talk?" He said in a calm voice. I just looked at him and then said... "No! There's nothing to talk about! You gave me my jacket which is what you came here for so there is nothing else for you to say. Goodbye." I said in a serious but calm tone.

"Y/n, I just want to talk. Please!" He said in a somewhat persuasive tone. "Fine but make it quick. I don't have all day." "Well it doesn't look like your doing anything important."

I gave him the look and he immediately dropped his smirk and said sorry. He then walked further in my room, shut the door and sat down on the bed next to me. There then was an awkward silence until i broke it.

"I just want to say before you start that, if you came here to ask me about the benefits thing again, it's not gonna a happen." "Well that would be nice if you said yes but that's not what I came here for....I just want to say sorry."

I looked up from my lap and to him. He was already looking at me.

"Sorry for everything...and honestly if you really don't want to talk than that's fine...I understand, I just...y/n?" He looked further in my eyes. I looked back and waited a couple of seconds to respond.

"I...miss you! Truly! I really do." I just looked at him. I mean it's amazing that he misses me to but I was thinking he was gonna say something else. "What!" "Did I say something wrong?" "I don't know." "What do you mean?"
"I don't know!"

Then we looked away from each other. The silence creeped on me and I began to regret how I reacted. Ugh I'm so stupid.

"I..I mean that yea...I miss you too." "You do!"
"Yea but that doesn't mean I forgive you and nothing has changed." His lit up face suddenly fell as I had said that.

"yea I understand...I guess." He sounded like I hurt him bad. I felt bad but at the same time I didn't.

"I think I should just leave." He looked at me and showed his sad smile. He stood up and started to walked to the door.

"I wont bother you again. Live a good life ok? You know I always care for you!"

His eyes teared up and so did mine as he walked out of my room. Once he did I went straight for my window and waited for him to leave my house. I watched him open the door with a sad expression and Lisa following after him. Jealousy started to brew in me. Why am I like this? She grabbed his arm and he quickly yanked it away and got in his car and pulled out of the driveway with a clear sad expression on his face.

I feel bad on my bed and just cried. I think I officially lost him. And I didn't want to. Even though I know it was my fault. I am the one that pushed him away. I'm the one who told him to leave me alone so many times and turned him down. Not the other way around.

That night I cried the rest of the day. I didn't eat dinner and I cried myself to sleep. Ryujin had called me a couple of times but I didn't pick up because I didn't feel like talking but I also didn't want to explain why I was crying because I knew she would ask and it would just hurt me more. I just simply texted her that I was busy and that I would talk to her tomorrow.

I feel like my life is falling apart. What's wrong with me?

~To Be Continued~