and they were roommates! (oh my god they were roommates!)

The cheesiest fic ever!

Content warning: minor depictions of blood
.........

"So Cheesy, word has gotten around the hotel that you and Trophy are... a thing now... and I wanted to know... why?" Fan fidgets and looks at the camera nervously "NOT IN A BAD WAY! Just, I'd never thought you two would ever end up together! It's like one of those enemies to lovers fanfictions!"
"Well Fan, we're just cheddar together!"
I knee slap and continue with the puns I've practiced saying all morning. "It sure was one cheesy situation!" I knee slap again and Test Tube pushes a button that makes a fake studio audience laugh.

"No but really, I never thought I would end up with him either! At first I just wanted to annoy him because he's funnier when he's angry, but we've actually gotten closer, in a weird TV show sitcom sorta way." Fan smiles and nods approvingly.

Well, it was partly that and the fact that he looked extremely lonely and out of it ever since being kicked off of the show, but I wouldn't want to expose my boyfriend that way. Hehe, boyfriend.

"I'm going to seem like a liar for saying this, but Trophy is actually really caring once you see through his facade of being a tough guy. The way that he pays attention to me, can crack jokes alongside me, and watches dumb movies with me is really all I need in a friend and a lover. Maybe that's why I care about him so much, but I also can't forget about the way he blushes around me, he looks like a full blown tomato hehehe!" I laugh at my own joke and do another rewarding knee slap as Fan nervously chuckles with me.
"Are you sure we can air this all out to the public Cheesy? I don't want to.... ya know.... Get absolutely beat up by Trophy and mercilessly blackmailed anytime soon." He says to me as he looks at the camera and offers me a one way ticket to making fun of trophy's past.

It irks me when objects talk about Trophy like that though, it really does. You can obviously tell he knows he was in the wrong for it. If he doesn't judge me for taking my jokes too far back then, I won't judge him for his previous faults either, even if he was a blackmailing jerk. While I was having my inner dialogue Fan patiently stares at me waiting for a response while gripping his index cards loaded with questions to ask. I have to reply quick, it's starting to get awkward.
I stomach the urge to speak up and defend Trophy, and instead talk in a more lighthearted tone.
"I can reassure you Fan, Trophy is perfectly fine with it. He's put his past behind him, and he just wants to be understood a bit more, I think he can be on good terms with most objects once they really know him. He's more approachable than he looks ya'know? Don't get me wrong though, he's still a buff dude, he would totally fold you like an origami paper crane if there were no consequences."
"Ha. .. I bet he definitely could." Fan says with sweat beading down his face and onto his bowtie "alright then cheesy thanks for coming onto the show!"
"Wait but what about my awesome comedy skit I was going to put on-".
"That's all for today folks! Tune it tomorrow to hear Papers tip of the day!" Fan says as he does a spin in his chair and Test Tube gets the cue to shut the live camera down.
Something's fishy about this interview, but before I can speak up about it, Fan is practically forcing me out of the room, shouting things like "thanks for coming onto the show!" And "I'll see you next segment!" Nervously at me as he slams the door.
What was that about?
As I walk down the hall, Salt and Pepper give me a disgusted look, which is normal for them to do most of the time but after that interview it feels more alienating than it should. Going up the steps to me and Trophy's shared room, I bump into Baseball and point my finger guns at him, and instead of greeting me or saying anything witty he instead decides to walk away faster. This feels like an episode of the twilight zone at this point.

I open the door to me and Trophy's room to see Trophy going though his camera roll on his bed. I go back into the hall and peek in through the doorway. Trophy doesn't let me see his pictures so I do my best to sneak around and improvise.
I see him looking fondly at the pictures. Most of them are of me, give or take, but he still pauses on the one of me stuffing popcorn in my face and another of me on the rooftop eating my favorite sandwich.
He's sitting in the sunlight, his bed facing the open window. His back is turned to me but I'm willing to bet his brow is furrowed and his face is concentrated on the pictures, probably trying to figure out which to make into physical copies.
After he scrolls through a few more butterfly and perspective photos, I get a peek of a picture I've never seen before. It's a picture of Knife... Going ring shopping? Hold on... Trophy flips through another photo, this time of Pickle looking at a suit at a tailors shop. Either Knife payed Trophy to be his personal photographer or....
"YOU'RE BLACKMAILING KNIFE AGAIN?!?!?" I shout loudly from the doorway. Thank cheesus nobody was on the same floor when I shouted that. Trophy runs over to me and puts his hand over my mouth to shut me up as he brings me into the room and slams the door behind me.
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING????" he whispers angrily in my face.
"Hmmmnpph" I say back, his hand is still on my mouth I mean what else am I supposed to say.
He lowers his hand and looks at me, his tall stature casts a shadow on me as I struggle to think about what to say. He's towering over me with his hands on his hips now and I start to feet a blush creep onto my face despite the situation I'm in. My mind is blank and I decide to mutter the only thing I can think of.
"what are YOU thinking???" Great comeback Cheesy, he's definitely going to handle you throwing the same thing he said two seconds ago at him well.
"I'm flipping through PERSONAL photos. My photography job is none of your business, Cheesy."
"Wait, job? I thought you were just a lifeguard on certain days of the week?" He facepalms and takes a deep breath. He's probably trying to calm himself down.
"There's a thing called having more jobs than one, dumbass."
"So you get paid to do blackmail now?"
It's a genuine statement on my part, but Trophy is fuming.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? TELL ME ANY OTHER TIME I'VE TRIED TO BLACKMAIL SOMEONE OTHER THAN KNIFE? I'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD TO TRY AND CHANGE FOR THE BETTER! FOR EVERYONE! FOR YOU! BUT I DON'T GET THE POINT WHEN YOU JUST DON'T SEE WHAT I'VE DONE! I DON'T EVEN THINK ITS WORTH IT ANYMORE!"
He smashes his camera on the ground and storms out of the room muttering a string of curses under his breath.