I feel so alone and hurt.. (love story)

I was in my room listening to music as I was getting ready for school. I heard my Grandma yell up to me "Ashley are you ready for school yet your going to miss the bus, I can't take you I have to leave for work soon." I yelled down to her "grandma I am almost ready, I just need to finish my hair." "okay there is five dollars on the table for lunch today, have a great day at school." she said as she was walking out the door.

Yes I do live with my grandma and no its not because my mom isn't alive anymore or because my dad isn't. Well actually I don't know if he is I have never met him before. I finished straightening my hair. I have curly black hair with blue eyes and naturally pink lips. Their a light pink. I do wear make-up but not a lot. My grandma says I look better without it. I walked down stairs and took the money off the table, locked the door and went down to the bus stop. I made it down there just in time. I walked on and sat in the front seat looking out the window.

(flashback)

I was sleeping I woke up to someone touching me and pulling off the covers. I looked up and saw my moms boyfriend I was about to scream but he put his hand over my mouth. "shh don't speak, I just want to show you how much I love you." he then began to take my pants off kissing my neck his hand was still on my mouth.

That was the worst night of my life. I lost my innocents to some guy I looked up to as my dad. He has been with my mom since I was four. I never thought he would do that to me. I was wrong. when he got done he told me to get dressed. He then said if I was to tell my mom he would beat me. I let this go on from when I was 12 until I was about 14 then I ended up getting pregnant my mom was so pissed off she started crying.

"mom its not my fault."

"really?!, your the one who is going around opening up your legs!!"

tears started to fall down my face I wanted to tell her what was going on I just couldn't I was to afraid I didn't want to get beat. but before I could stop myself the words just flew right out of my mouth.

" I have been getting rapped by your stupid ass boyfriend!"

"what?!" tears started falling down her face. I thought she believed me it looked like she did. I was wrong.

she smacked me so hard I fell down. I hit the ground and then she just kicked me and hit me. I started to bleed. I was taken to the hospital, I didn't tell them what happened. I stayed over night. I went home the next day and found all my stuff packed up in my room. my mom came in.

"I called your grandmother your going to live with her in California. I am not letting you ruin this relationship of mine like you did with your father!!" those were the last words she has ever said to me.

(reality)

I get off the bus and walk in the front door. I find my best friends Zach and bella with the rest of our friends hanging around my locker. Zach and bella have been my best friends since I came out to California when I was 14. I am 18 now and a senior in high school. I have had the biggest crush on Zach ever since bella introduced us. she lived next door. that's how we became best friends. its so awesome living next door to your best friend.

bella has light brown hair with green eyes she is so gorgeous sometimes I wish I looked like her. Zach has brown eyes and blonde hair. I try to avoid looking into his eyes as much as possible. I just end up getting lost into them every time. can't say that I hate getting lost In his beautiful brown eyes, I just don't want him to know I like him. im afraid of ruining our friendship. all of the sudden bella comes running over to me and giving me a big hug pretty soon Zach comes over and does the same thing.

" hey guys!! bella how come you weren't on the bus this morning?" I said.

" sorry ash. I didn't get ready in time and I missed it so my mom had to bring me." bell said.

"oh okay. I thought you were sick or something. I was afraid I would have to be stuck alone with Zach all day" I said, laughing with a smile on my face so he knew I was just joking.

"ash you and I both know you want to be alone with me for a whole day, don't lie and act like you don't just because everyone else is around" he said winking at me

I started to blush. I pushed him. "shut up Zach I would rather get hit by a bus then be stuck with you for a whole day" all of our friends started laughing including me.

"ash how could you say that? it hurts" he said sarcastically and before I had time to respond the bell rang and we all had to go to class.

My first five classes went by pretty fast. which is a good thing. I really wanted it to be lunch time. I don't really talk to anyone in school, I normally just keep to myself. I only talk to Zach and bell. I went and got my lunch, then sat down at the table with Zach and bell.

"hey guys!, how was your morning classes?" I said.

"they were good ash." bell said.

"I don't even remember I kinda fell asleep in all of then." Zach said and me and bell could not stop laughing.

"Zach how do you plan on graduating if all you do is sleep?" I said.

"well ash im just so good looking the teachers can't help but pass me they don't want next years seniors to get jealous" Zach said with a huge smile on his face.

me and bell just looked at each other and started laughing.

"Zach im sure that's not the reason they are letting you pass. just face the fact that, they don't want to have to deal with you any longer then they have to."

we all started to laugh.

we got done eating and decided to walk around the school. Zach is a major dork but in the cute funny way. he always puts a smile on my face even though deep down inside Im hurting. I feel so alone. That's why im so glad I have Zach and bell, they are amazing best friends I honestly do not know what I would do without them.

"hey guys look the art room is open we should go hang out in there." Zach said.

"okay let's go." bell said.

" hey guys im not so sure that's a good idea. what if we get caught? we will get into trouble" i said.

"come on ash we will be fine trust me we will not get into trouble. no one will even know we were in there I promise. plus everyone is at lunch right now." Zach said with a puppy face.

it was so cute. and he knows that I can't say no to that face. ugh why does he have to do this to me.

"okay fine! but if we get into trouble you are taking all the blame."