Winter

Chapter Six

I sat in my room in total darkness, not wanting to alert my parents that I was still up.  I’d just come from my secret room, leaving when the darkness that usually snuffed out my worries began suffocating my hopes as well. 

I leaned up against the bedroom wall, staring at my closet.  I knew that my iris’s were huge in the lack of light, and I assumed that the gentle moonlight which streamed through my window was lighting my green eyes into a glow.  A breeze carried itself through my room, giving it an extra chill.  I still hadn’t changed into sleeping clothes, and I myself was beginning to find my behavior odd.  By this time I was usually sound asleep, but the things I’d learned through the day nagged at the back of my mind like a fishing hook.

Suddenly, a pebble flew through my room and hit the far wall.  I spun on my heals, crawling up onto the bed to glare out the window, prepared to yell at whoever had thrown the rock. 

Blake stood on the sidewalk, his Arctic water blue eyes gleaming up at me.  I leaned out onto the sill, looking down at him. I fought the urge to spit.  Curiosity bit at my mind, and Jake and Briant’s words rang through my ears.  ‘If he’s smart, he’ll change for you.’ ‘he wished he could take it back.’

“April?” He asked softly.

Simply responding felt like acid in the back of my throat, “Yes?”

“Can you come down?”

“Yeah.” I answered, yet made no motion to move.

“Will you come down?” He rephrased.  Nothing in his words hinted to anger, nothing hinted to cruelty.  With a small voice of reluctance echoing in my ears I slid out onto the window sill, and grabbed the edge, gently slipping my feet off.  My house was clay, as everyone’s houses were, and over the years I’d managed to erode foot and hand holds to get out at night.  I landed like a cat on the ground from years of experience.  As I turned to face Blake, I saw him watching me with a small smile on his face.

“What?” I hissed.  For a second his eyes widened, and then he quickly tumbled a lie out of his mouth.

“You forgot shoes.”

“I can assure you that was totally intentional.” I replied tartly, already regretting my decision.

“Will you go on a walk with me?” He asked.  Despite my better judgement, I nodded yes.  The two of us walked down the road, my home disappearing from view.  We walked in an awkward silence.  I found that even though I’d ignored my instincts thus far, I was not really regretting it yet.  Out of the corner of my eye I watched as he kept moving, as I kept pace.  So finally, when he stopped, I did too.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted out.  I must’ve looked shocked, but he continued anyway, “I’m sorry that I fought Mark.  I know he’s your best friend and it was a dumb decision.  I’m sorry I told you what you had to be, and I’m sorry everything I said has been wrong.  I’m so, so, so unbelievably sorry that I’ve messed up with you so much, and I’m sorry I’ve tried to pressure you into being with me, especially by making you feel like you had no choice.  I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done, April Tangella, and I know there is no reason for you to, but I would be honored if you would give me a second chance.”

My eyes dilated in shock.  I knew he could feel my gaze boring into his, searching for the telltale signs of a lie.  The tension in the air made it perfectly clear that this would be my last chance to forgive him; he wouldn’t push his pride aside again.  I knew that he was flawed, and could be cruel.  But I knew he was mine, and that I couldn’t bring myself to disrupt Mark’s new relationship.  So I swallowed my contempt, shoving it away into a little corner for in case he ever messed up.