Alternate World

Chapter 4: Returning?? (tw: mention of su!c!de)

"So maybe I should go back. Wouldn't hurt, right?" I thought once more, eating ripe strawberries I had picked out on my own, sitting on a seat made out of particles I had created. I had been thinking of whether I should go back to my homeland; Singapore, just to check up on how my friends and family were doing without me. "It honestly wouldn't hurt, right? Plus, I would be invisible to them, and I can easily go through things and people..." I said, voicing my thoughts aloud. After much debating, I made the decision to do so.
Clasping my palm, to ensure enough oxygen was supplied in my body, I flew up much higher to have a better idea of how to go back. I gazed over at the magnificent view I had of Earth, despite the thick layers of clouds, able to see the whole of Antarctica formed, dotted with some brown spots that occasionally crowded certain regions of it. "Global warming..." my voice trailed off, seeing this sorry sight. "So if my right is the Indian Ocean, my left would be... the Pacific Ocean, and the old Straits of Melaka would be..." my voice trailed off as I zoomed forward, going to the direction where Australia is.
Having identified the path of the Straits of Melaka, where Singapore was at the very tip of, I stopped abruptly in my tracks. I then mentally traced its path, trying to find the tip of it. Once I had found it, my eyes widened. I had found the tip. It had to be Singapore. I flew down a bit, such that the shape of the country I perceived to be Singapore was more distinct and obvious. I let out a gasp as I took in its familiar shape. It did look a lot like Singapore, its shape a bit similar to Australia's, a long curvy-like structure in the north part connecting the whole plot of land to land right above. I went towards the north-east part of the central region of the land, meaning to go to the person I love's school first. Xe, as well as Monica, was the only people I had told my plans to, especially not wanting them to worry. Once I had stationed myself, I flew down swiftly and near the speed of light straight downwards.

After some time, I reached ground level, standing on the pavement near a few HDB(Housing Development Board) flats. Within seconds, I recognised my surroundings, and realised that I had arrived back in Singapore, more specifically near xir school. "Yay," I thought with satisfaction, a small smile spreading across my face. I knew how exactly to go to xir school by heart, hence I flew above traffic and trees to the familiar school compound. I saw a row of windows with students' heads partially able to be seen, and instantly went inside the school to the corridor right outside the row of windows I had spotted. I read the label of the classroom doors until I read xir class name, sprinting down the corridor. After sprinting by three classrooms, I finally found xir classroom. I heaved out a sigh, made myself as small as I possibly could, about the height of a regular textbook, and flew into the classroom, the teacher inside explaining a science concept to the students there, seated in their seats. Having immediately found xem, head bent over xir textbook, my heart melted with joy and love, a wide genuine smile spread across my face. I zoomed across to xem, wanting to be near xem. I realised that xe did not seem happy, reading xir eyes. As I went closer to see what xe was scribbling down at the side of xir textbook, tears formed in my eyes. "I miss Lily. Where is she? When will she come back? Has she eaten? Is she awake?" was what xe was writing. I rushed forward to hug them, giving xe. one at their neck, being too small to hug xir entire body. I spent the rest of my time with xem, sitting on xir shoulder, having had missed xem too.
Ten minutes had passed, and I knew I had to leave. I reluctantly flew out of the window of the classroom, gazing back at xem and mouthing the words, "See you." before painfully smiling, the tears that had accumulated in my eyes falling and escaping away as I flew upwards, away from the school compounds. "Next, my school," I said with a quivering tone, before trying to figure out the direction from xir school to mine, flying above building, roads and trees swiftly, vigorously wiping my tear-stained face.

Once I had arrived at my school, knowing where exactly my classroom is, I darted to its direction. "This will be interesting," I said, cracking my knuckles. I flew into my classroom, where I saw the same sea of familiar faces getting ready for the next lesson, as usual some of them out of their seats and socialising with others, while others were using their phones or doing their own shit. I eyed my only three friends in class, going to the two friends who were closer to me in terms of bond, Hailey and Jeremy. They were talking about me with some other classmates sitting near them. "Where do you guys think Lily is? It's been two days she isn't in school," Jeremy enquired to them, before laughing. My heart sank as I heard the all-too-familiar, light hearted laugh used when they couldn't care less about topics. "Is there anything else more interesting to talk about anyway?" I thought, feeling scorn and misery fill my heart at that moment. "Do you think she...went missing then commited suicide? Or perhaps kidnapped?" one classmate said. "I D K honestly, just leave it to the police, she was kinda annoying anyway L O L," Hailey's said, sounding curt and cool. I raised my middle finger and glared at the whole group, before flying towards my other friend, Julia. She was seated at her desk, messaging someone unknown to me. Her eyes looked emotionless and preoccupied as she was texting. I floated above, watching her fingers move vigorously about her keyboard, glancing at her phone at irregular intervals to see if she had mentioned me as I did not want to invade others' privacy as much as I could. I could hear a clique on my left purely gossiping about me. I gave out an internal sigh, smarting at their cutting words.
After a short while, Julia stopped texting, as I noticed her fingers make a lot less movement. Her heavy sigh caught my attention as I cautiously looked at her phone screen. She had gone to my contact info and ran her finger over my name. As I quickly darted forward where I could see her face, her eyes portrayed a tinge of sadness and she looked towards my vacant seat in the middle row. I felt saddened and yet touched that at least one of my friends cared about my disappearance. I gave a small pat on her head, to express that I was okay, before leaving my school compounds to head to Monica's school. I felt hurt and peeved that most people I once considered my genuine friends did not seem to care that I was missing, without sparing an ounce of worry for me. Deja vu indeed.

With all these thoughts swimming in my mind, I arrived at Monica's school. Predicting where her classroom is, as it was my old primary school and I knew the format of the classrooms quite well, I zoomed to her classroom, and scanned the room to find her, where there was no teacher inside, the students talking among themselves. I could not find her, leaving me puzzled. Just then, I heard one of them near me, I think Tracy, one of Monica's best friends, ask another student, "Where's Monica?" "Toilet", the student replied, and I then flew to the female toilet, where I saw my dear sister Monica break down in heavy sobs in front of the basin, with one of her good friends, Kai Wen, trying to console her. "I know Jie(Chinese form for elder sister) said in the note she will be okay and has gone somewhere, but still where is she? She also didn't say when she will come back. And Sky and Zack also miss her Sky says he's okay and acts like it in front of me and Zack but my dad caught him crying outside his preschool gates when he went to pick up my brothers..." she wept, trying hard to catch her breath in between sobs and sniffles. Hearing this, instant tears cascaded down my cheeks for the third time that day, feeling like the worst sister ever as I heard her say that. I flew closer to Monica, and gave her a hug at her neck. I initially thought of seeing how Zack and Sky were doing at their preschool, however, oweing to how mentally tired and upset I felt, I decided not to. I roughly knew how they were doing anyway.
As I left the school grounds and flew up towards the sky, I muttered in between tears, "Preview of how it'll be like if I left for good I guess." I let out a chuckle, which ended with a subdued groan. As I chuckled, I felt like crying even more. I gazed down towards bustling Singapore, with its red roofs, patches of greenery dispersed, roads with cars that looked more like the cars Zack plays with, heading in specific directions, not putting a stop to my overflowing tears.