Noori √

T h i r t e e n

Baaton ko teri hum Bhula na sake
Hoke judaa hum na judaa ho sake
Dil mein hai Zinda har ghadi tu kahin
Hoke judaa hum na judaa ho sake

Kitni chahat hai dil mein tu Jaane na
Kaise dil ko samjhaaye dil maane na

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My hands were trembling in nervousness even though I know everything ends today the misery, the pain we have been put through all these past months still there is a feeling deep down in my heart that is unsettling doesn't matter how much I try to calm myself it's not going away.

I'm still staying with Maa and Baba, though Papaji told me to come back when I think about it's still hard the memories of that night burn through me like a fresh wound no matter how many bandages I cover with will always be there.

People perhaps think that something like this can be forgotten over time, but it is only who has been through knows what it feels like, those touches are imprinted on me and not just on my skin also on my mind and heart.

I thought after seeing Chachi Ji behind bars or seeing everyone else who took Anay away from me will give me peace but this empty feeling inside me hasn't gone not even a bit. I feel like an empty room filled with the color of darkness four walls of it closing on me. The thought of getting the murderer behind the bars was the only thing that was keeping me going but now I just feel empty in which no matter who tries to fill happy colors or how much someone nurtures it will never be whole again.

I wonder how will I go on? The mere thought of moving on without Anay is bestowing me with fear.

Love filled all the depths of me but now that it's gone from my life I don't know what to do, I want to be surrounded by that feeling it made me feel alive like diving into the realms of magic where I always felt safe. People say when you lose someone you love it feels like you lost a part of yourself but I feel like I've lost myself though I dream of waking up one day and being whole again, I dream of all my sorrows to be swept away.

"Hey, everything will be alright" a soft voice whispers, a voice that has been there for me no matter what.

I turn to my left side to see Viraj with a smile on his face, his eyes always scream at me that everything will be okay, and every time my heart believes it.
"Yeah, thank you for being here with me" I replied letting out a sigh of relief. We were in the courtroom I looked at Chachi Ji who still had smug look on her face she don't regret even a single thing of what she did.

How someone can be so arrogant?

She ruined our lives, and in the process, she ruined hers too can't she see that or it doesn't bother her in the least.

The lawyer kept questioning her and just like that she answered each of them, her accomplices were already questioned now it was time for the jury to tell their verdict for the case my heart was beating unnaturally fast just then I felt big warm hands covering mine, my eyes fall on Baba's hand he was making circles on my knuckles and that calmed me a little.

One by one everyone was called to the stand to answer the questions it was hard for everyone but when Jai was called to the stand Chachi Ji's expression changed a little.

Is it a concern? Or love for him? I don't know at this time I don't know what to make of her she did something none of us ever thought will happen in our worst nightmares, for a split-second she indeed had a motherly concern on her face maybe she is finally realizing that what dire of a situation she has put her son in along with everyone else in the family.