LOVE LOCKDOWN (dnf + karlnap)

8: Meant To Be Yours, chapter four

MARCH

And right as the clock flipped over to 12:00, March 1st, Nick said. "I think I'm in love with someone. And it fucking hurts, because I know he will never love me back."

Nick exhaled deeply and rolled over - away from Karl, looking at the time. "Oh, it's my birthday."

Karl said nothing.

So that was how death felt, then. Like ice stabbing at your heart and spreading through your whole body into the very tips of your fingers and toes. It was cold, and so, so lonely.

"Karl? Did you fall asleep?"

"Uhm," Karl cleared his throat, praying that Nick couldn't hear how shaky his voice was. "No, sorry. I- happy birthday. And... I'm sorry. About that guy."

Karl heard and felt rather than saw Nick turn over to face him. Quickly, Karl mirrored the position. In the dark he could barely make out the high points of Nick's face; the apple of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

He wanted to press kisses into the soft skin there until his lips ached and bruised.

"It's okay," Nick mumbled softly, his voice warm. "We're friends, so in a way, I do have him."

It's probably Dream. Nick is in love with Dream.

"Still. I know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back."

"We're pathetic," Nick laughed.

Karl had to agree. "Yes. We are." I am.

"Can, um... Can we spoon?"

Don't say yes, Karl. Your heart's already been broken enough today.

"Of course."

"Can I be the little spoon, then?"

"Yeah, sure."

And that night, Karl slept better than he ever had. With Nick's back pressed to his chest and his arms wrapped securely around him.

-

Karl left early the next morning. All he wanted to do was go home and fucking cry.

It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. They had only been real friends for two weeks, and before that, Nick had just been a dizzying cocktail of daydreams and made-up scenarios. So why did it hurt so incredibly much?

There was no music in the car as Karl drove home. Just the engine noise and the ambience of the traffic around him. Just Karl and his soft sniffles as he frantically wiped away the tears that slipped down his flushed cheeks.

It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but Karl felt like he'd just had half his soul cut out. Nick was still his friend, there was no need for the dramatics, not really. Just like Nick had said they were friends, so in a way Karl still had him.

-

6:00 pm, March 2nd

Karl

hey

Nick

'sup :)

Nick

is everything okay?

Karl

yeah everythings fine

Karl

i just wanted to say that if u ever like

wanna talk about that guy ur into