Annabeth Chase and the Lightning Thief

Chapter 30 - Percy and Crusty talk business

Crusty looked disappointed that I didn't fit the bed. It was longer than I was, a good deal longer.

"Almost, darn it," the giant said, catching hold of Percy's neck again so he couldn't move. "Whoa, kid. Don't worry. We'll find you one in a sec."

"Let my friends go."

I have to say, it didn't sound very it intimidating coming from a scrawny kid like him, especially when he said it in such a weak voice. If I was the giant, I wouldn't have let us go either.

"Oh, sure I will. But I got to make them fit, first."

"What do you mean?"

"All the beds are exactly six feet, see? Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."

I kept struggling, hoping that I could loosen the ropes. Grover was doing the same on his bed, but we weren't making any impact at all. The ropes were magical, so no effort from unmagical beings could do anything. That didn't stop us from struggling though. Reason goes out of the window when panic sets in.

"Can't stand imperfect measurements," Crusty muttered, staring at us. "Ergo!"

More ropes came out from the bed, wrapping around my ankles and under my armpits. Then the worst part of all: the ropes began to pull, tugging my legs one way and my upper body another. Let me tell you, it didn't tickle either.

"Don't worry," Crusty was telling Percy. "These are stretching jobs. Maybe eight extra centimetres on their spines. They might even live. Now why don't we find a bed you like, huh?"

"Percy!" Grover yelled.

I felt like calling out too, but I thought pressuring him wouldn't exactly help. I could already see his mind racing, brows pressed in concentration.

"Your real name's not Crusty, is it?" he asked.

"Legally, it's Procrustes," the giant admitted.

I would have slapped my forehead if I could. How did I not remember? He'd tried to kill Theseus on his way to Athens. Usually what monsters did.

But there was more. It was said that he was a son of Poseidon, like Percy was. In the old myths, he had an iron bed and he'd invite travelers to come and lie down and rest, but when they did, he'd try to make them fit by stretching them or cutting off excess parts. No one ever managed to fit because he had two beds. He was killed by Theseus when the demigod made him lie down on his own bed. He deserved it though, truthfully.

"The Stretcher," Percy said, remembering after me.

"Yeah. But who can pronounce 'Procrustes'? Bad for business. Now 'Crusty', anybody can say that."

"You're right. It's got a good ring to it."

Crusty looked amazed. His whole lizard face lit up. "You think so?"

"Oh, absolutely. And the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!"

What was Percy doing? I didn't see how flattering the monster was going to get us out of here.

"I tell my customers that," Crusty told Percy. "Every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built in Lava Lamps have you seen?"

"Not too many."

"That's right!"

"Percy!" I yelled, unable to stand it any longer. "What are you doing?"

"Don't mind her," Percy told Crusty. "She's impossible."

He laughed. "All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And they complain about the fitting."

"What do you do if they're longer than six feet?"

"Oh, that happens all the time. It's a simple fix."

He let go of Percy's neck and I expected the son of Poseidon to whip out Riptide and be done with the monster, but I was disappointed. He watched as Crusty pulled out a huge double-bladed brass axe.

"I just centre the subject as best I can and lope off whatever hangs over on either end."

"Ah," Percy swallowed hard. "Sensible."

"I'm so glad to come across an intelligent customer!"

The ropes were really starting to get a bit tight. My spine was taking most of the strain as well as my legs. My whole body felt too tight, as if everything had been stretched beyond breaking point. I couldn't even speak any more. Grover was making gurgling noises, expressing what I couldn't say.

"So Crusty . . ." Percy said, watching us anxiously. He looked around and spotted a valentine-shaped Honeymoon Special. "Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"

"Absolutely. Try it out."

"Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?"

"Guaranteed."

"No way."

"Way."

"Show me."

Crusty looked as eager as puppy. He sat down on the bed, patting the mattress. "No waves. See?"

Percy snapped his fingers. "Ergo."

Ropes launched themselves out of the bed and wrapped Crusty up like they'd done to Grover and I.

"Hey!" he yelled, struggling against them, but he had as much an effect as we did.

"Centre him just right," Percy said.

The ropes quickly readjusted him, although by this time, I was having trouble seeing. I watched through blurs as Crusty was held down on the bed, head and feet hanging over the edge.

"No!" he yelled. "Wait! This is just a demo."

Percy uncapped Riptide. Now, he looked dangerous. "A few simple adjustments . . ."

"You drive a hard bargain," Crusty was pleading. He was probably remembering the last time he'd been strapped to his own bed by a demigod. "I'll give you thirty percent off on selected floor models!"

"I think I'll start with the top," Percy decided. He raised his sword.

"No money down! No interest for six months!"

Crusty stopped making offers suddenly. Maybe it was because his head was rolling along the floor before disintegrating with the rest of his body.

Percy cut the ropes on Grover's and my beds. I curled up immediately, as if I could compress myself and undo whatever damage the stretching had done. When I did get to my feet, I spent all my breath on moaning and cursing Percy. Grover did the same, although he was less expressive with his curses.

"You look taller," Percy remarked cheerfully.

"Very funny," I snapped. "Be faster next time".

I sat down, still hunched over. My body ached, particularly my spine and legs. Despite the nonchalance we all had assumed, much longer and Grover and I would have died. I was in Percy's debt. Again.

"Come on," he said, turning away from a bulletin board he'd been studying. I know, usually I wouldn't associate 'studying' with Percy either, but it's the best way I could explain it.

"Give us a moment," Grover complained. "We were almost stretched to death!"

"Then you're ready for the Underworld," Percy said. "It's only a block from here."