The Wolf and the Bastard - A Ramsay Bolton Fanfiction

Hypocrite

I got woken up by the sound of cautious footsteps. I managed to open my eyes and spotted Theon who placed a tray with food and water on the table. He avoided to look at my direction and was about to leave my room again.
"Wait...", I breathed.
Theon stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around. Slowly I sat up. The maester had treated my wounds the best he could. He had given me something to ease my pain but I already felt its effect fading. I felt a slight burning between my legs but I was certain it would become worse after the potion would have lost its power. The wound on my side throbbed with every heartbeat, a silent reminder that the worst part was yet to come.
"I need to know if he ... did he hurt her?"
Even if I had been injured, the wedding had taken place anyway. I bet Ramsay hadn't told anyone why I hadn't been able to come to my sisters wedding. Only the maester and Theon had visited me since. I was wondering if Sansa even knew that I was in pain or if Ramsay had told her I was only sick. I hadn't talked to her since our fight and I was starting to believe that I wouldn't get the opportunity to see her for a long time.
"I need to know, Theon. Please", I begged when he kept silent.
"He consummated the marriage", Theon answered vaguely.
This wasn't enough.
"What did he do to her?", I asked him once again.
He was quiet for a while and I already thought he wouldn't give me an answer. But then I heard him whimper.
"He ... he raped her and forced me to watch."
I should have known. It had never been his intention to keep his promise. He was a liar. How could I have been so naive to trust him? He wanted to rule the North and he needed a heir for it. A legitimate son from his wife. Of course he had forced Sansa to sleep with him. I felt so stupid right now.
"Where is she now?"
"Locked up in her chambers. She is only allowed to leave it by his order."
"Did you lit the candle?"
"No. I told Ramsay."
I felt a painful sting in my heart. Theon had betrayed us once again. It had been my last hope to get him on our side. But he was still too loyal to his tormentor.
"You can leave now", I ordered in a cold tone.
He still had his back on me so I wasn't able to see in his face. But by the way he slumped his shoulders and bowed his head I could tell that he was disappointed. I just didn't know if he was because of what he had done or because he had lost my trust. Slowly he nodded and left the room without another word.
I only had a few minutes of peaceful silence until I heard a knock on my door.
"Come in", I sighed resigned.
Petyr Baelish stepped into the room. I was wondering how much he knew. I tried to read his face but it didn't tell me anything as always.
"I have been informed you feel well enough for the journey to Karhold."
I couldn't hold back a scoff. I felt anything else than well enough.
"I believe a journey to Karhold won't be necessary, mylord. I doubt that Lord Karstark still want to marry me."
Bealish frowned his forehead.
"Why?"
"I am not undefiled anymore."
There was a moment of tense silence.
"Who deflowered you?"
I only stared at him. I didn't know why I didn't just tell him. It wouldn't make a difference anymore. Maybe he wouldn't believe me anyway. But to be honest I was a hypocrite. How could I be mad at Theon if I wasn't any better than him? Even after all Ramsay had done I didn't want to displease him.
"Did it happen with mutual consent?"
I kept my mouth shut. How should I have been able to answer his question if I didn't know it by myself?
"Then you are no longer of any use to me. You will be Lord Boltons concern now. He can do whatever he pleases."
With that he turned around and left the room. I should have been glad. It had been what I had wanted after all. Staying at Winterfell with Sansa. With Ramsay Bolton. But now I wasn't so sure about that anymore. To be honest there was no place I actually wanted to be right at the moment. I just wanted all of this to end.