Til death and beyond

Scorn

"Long time no see, sweetheart."

I narrowed my eyes at him, each step I took closer just crushed me with a whirlwind of different emotions. First and foremost there was anger, hurt and betrayal but there was also a hint of desire. The cloak he wore exposed his collar bone and the want to touch him was great, but I did my best not to give away any of that.

He returned my glare with equal fury and I knew he was irate about having seen me holding Kimimaro's hand, which was in no way special or relevant to our case, but his frustrations would not be a justification to anything he did to me.

"I should have known, the moment you get the chance you would crawl back to him, hm! It's always been like that, hasn't it? You were never mine, hm!" He exploded with one accusation after another.

"Is that really your main concern after you damned the both of us?" I snarled.

"Apparently it looks like I've done you a favor!"

"By destroying both of our artistic goals? Our reunion with our son? Were all your big plans just talk?!"

"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't stupid enough to waltz right into where my C4 Karura detonated, hm!"

"...Huh?!" I knitted my eyebrows. "What the hell are you talking about? Your C4 Karura did not kill me!"

"What?!" Now it was his turn to look perplexed. "Then how did you die? Did Sasuke kill you?"

"No, your self-destructing technique did!"

"...What?!" He took a step back in shock. "But... Sasuke said you died!"

I studied him for a long moment, the pieces finally making sense. He used that technique because he thought I was dead. How stupid, how ridiculous, as if this was some badly-written tragedy. We died because of a misunderstanding.

"And you believed him."

He hesitated before answering.

"I wouldn't put it past you to be within range even after I warned you, hm."

"And so what if I had died? At least then Hiroaki would have at least one parent!"

"What would you want me to tell him? That I killed his mother?"

"I believed in you, Deidara! I saw Sasuke flee from the C4, yes, but I didn't interfere because I had faith in you. You gave me your word. But then you just blew yourself up and took me along with you!"

"How could I have known?! I don't believe in you when it comes to following instructions, hm!"

He let out a frustrated groan but did not say more, the blue in his eyes furious with denial.

"I stayed away the entire time." I continued. "The only time I came to the check on you was when it went silent and when I saw you, you were bleeding. I could have healed you, I could have helped you, we didn't... we didn't need to die! We didn't need to leave our son to be an orphan!"

"It was my fight, hm! I was to take down Sasuke myself! I've told you a hundred times already, hm!" He gritted his teeth. "And if detonating myself was the only way to take him down then so be it!"

My burning rage turned icy and I stared down at him in disappointment and hopelessness. Even now, he would not admit his wrongdoings. What of my dreams?

"It was not your explosion that killed me. It was your ego and pride that did." I turned away from him, unable to look at him or listening to him any longer, afraid I would do something stupid if I stayed. I was teetering on the edge.