Wrong for Me

32|new home

NAOMI COLE—SEPTEMBER

A SMILE WAS ETCHED on my face as I climbed into Dante's car, shivering due to the chilly temperature. Two weeks had passed since we came home from France and instantly, the two of us were thrust back into our busy lives. While he was focusing all of his attention on the company and finalizing everything for his new home, I did the same for my classes that had started up one again, the internship, and volunteering I had picked up. With our focus being on everything else in our lives, Dante and I rarely had time with each other—except for the time we spent together on our lunch break in the backseat of his car. Although I enjoyed the time I was spending with Veronica and my brother, it was definitely difficult to not be putting all that time into Dante and I's new relationship.

"It's getting so chilly out there," I spoke to Dante who had a small smile on his face as he stared at me with a loving look in his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I missed you," he admitted, making my heart pound in my chest and a cheesy grin make its way to my face. I was sure I was flushed as well. "Can I not miss you?"

"You saw me yesterday."

"For only an hour alone together," he groaned, letting his head fall onto my shoulder once I was settled into the passenger's seat. "That's not enough."

I pressed a kiss to his forehead and ran a hand through his hair before he lifted his head and started the car. He hadn't let me know where he was planning on taking me for today, yet I had the small inkling that he would finally be taking me to his house. He had yet to invite me over to help him unpack—because he surely needed the help—and I was sure that he was annoyed with me nagging him and would appease me.

His free hand rested on my thigh as he drove, running soft circles on my leg over the fabric of the stockings I had worn. Dante was one for surprises but had made sure to let me know to dress up a bit today, so I wore a fitting, white sweater and a caramel colored corduroy skirt over white stockings with small hearts on them.

"You haven't told me how classes have been going. Are you glad to be back?" He finally spoke once we were at a red light, turning to face me and letting me know that I had his full attention—that he cared.

"You know I'm a sucker for learning, so I'm definitely excited to be back...not for the stress. I just...I can't wait until I'm done and can finally begin my career," I gushed, biting down on my bottom lip to hide the smile that was fighting to break out.

"I see you hiding that smile," he chuckled, sending me a glance out of the side of his eye as he pulled off. "Don't hide your happiness, sweetheart. It's not something to be ashamed of."

His words made my heart flutter; I had never heard him say something so profound though I wasn't surprised by it. He just seemed to have so much wisdom that he kept to himself.

I didn't respond right away, pondering about whether or not I should ask the question that was on my mind. It wasn't that I was nervous to ask Dante deep questions anymore—we were in a comfortable relationship—it was just that I struggled to word them sometimes. It was hilarious to me that I could share my thoughts on paper so easily, yet verbally was still a struggle for me. That seemed to be something Dante and I both struggled with.

"Did you...or do you hide your happiness?"

Silence hung in the air after I released that question, making me wish that I had just kept my mouth shut. I glanced over at Dante in an effort to gage his reaction to see that he was biting down of his bottom lip, his hand tapping the steering wheel lightly.

"I did," he finally spoke up in a low voice, almost as if he had struggled to let it out—as if he was nervous to let it out. "For years I was depressed and no one knew. It started after Anna and I were attacked...I had been...different for years before that, but it was that situation that pushed me over the edge. No one noticed because I had no one to notice. Khalil may have had the inclination, yet anytime he brought up anything to close to it, I would snap at him."