Wrong for Me

39|graduations and flights

NAOMI COLE—MAY—SEVEN MONTHS LATER

A MIX OF NERVOUSNESS and excitement stirred in my stomach as I followed behind my fellow graduates onto the university's football field. The day had come when I was finally completing my time in academia and moving onto the working world. Finally, my hard work over the past six years was paying off and I couldn't be more excited, especially since I would be flying off to Paris just hours later to officially start my internship with Lenora Dupree.

The day after my birthday, I had found out that I had been accepted for the position and would need to be there the day after my graduation. Immediately, I felt guilt—guilt for leaving behind a new relationship before it really even began. But as the months went on, the gap between Dante and I only grew and I was sure it would have happened with or without the internship looming over us.

Just when we thought we had gotten over our rough patch, another returned when I found out he had had sex with Danielle. Sure, it was before our relationship, but the revelation let me know that he may have only been so adamant about keeping me away from her for fear that she would let me know. Only, that backfired on him when she sent me the file with the video on it one night and I instantly confronted him about it.

Still, I tried to work on my relationship with Dante and so did he, but there was clearly still a gap between us. When we would go days without spending time with one another, only interacting at work, I wouldn't even feel upset—I would be relieved that there wouldn't be any arguing or makeup sex that would leave me feeling empty either way at the end.

Neither of us had taken the step towards breaking up with one another, not wanting to let go, but also clearly not wanting to stay. Both of us knew the end was coming, but neither of us would take that final step.

Glancing up in the direction of the stands, I searched for the section where my family would be seated and sure enough I found them. My mother was clapping excitedly, making the bangles on her wrist clash against one another. I could practically hear them from where I was now seated as nostalgia hit me. Beside her, my father had a proud expression on his face as he made eye contact with me, sending me a wink that had me smiling.

My gaze danced past my stepmother and brother, landing on Dante seated beside Lauren, Khalil, and Daisy in the row behind my family. We instantly made eye contact and I watched as he forced a smile onto his face, even if his brown eyes held nothing but sadness.

Not wanting to ruin the moment for myself, I adverted my gaze and instead focused back on the stage where speeches were beginning. I listened intently to each speech, in disbelief that I had made it to this moment. Almost three years ago when I was applying to grad schools, Jonathan had made me feel like I would never make it through, like I wasn't enough and I had completely proved him wrong. I did what was best for me and what I knew I could do.

My heart began to pound as names were beginning to be called, mine going from being twenty away to a mere two.

"Naomi A. Cole," The dean of students called out as I made my way up the staircase, clapping and cheering ensuing from the stands as I made my across the stage shaking hands and accepting my diploma.

In my seat, my diploma almost felt fake, like a figment of my imagination that would disappear with the smallest gust of air. When Dante and I were at our happiest, I thought my life was going in the right direction, but this moment proved to me that all I needed from the beginning to get my life on track was my own happiness and my own belief in myself.

***
"I AM SO PROUD of you two!" Lauren exclaimed as Veronica and I made our way towards the section of the bleachers where all of our family and friends were seated. "You did it!"

When Lauren and Daisy finally let us go and Veronica and I gained enough composure, we approached our families who were waiting for us eagerly. My mother and father pulled me into their tight embraces, my mothers signature eucalyptus smell encasing me and sending me another wave of nostalgia. We were all avoiding the topic of my moving to Paris in the week that they've been here, but I could tell now that it was truly hitting my parents.

After speaking more with my family, I finally turned my attention to Dante who had been waiting patiently. This week was my parents' first time meeting him and while there was no doubt in my mind that they really liked him, that wasn't enough for me to get over this hump in our relationship.

"I'm so proud of you, Naomi," Dante spoke lowly so that only I could hear him, placing a bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots in my arm. One thing about Dante as a boyfriend was that he always remembered what my favorite things were—my favorite flowers, my favorite ways to spend time with him—and I would never forget that.

"Thank you, Dante. I really couldn't have done it without you extending the internship to me. I can never explain to you how grateful I am for that."

"And thank you for making my business better than it had ever been, Naomi. Thank you for...making me a better man, showing me that I don't always have to be so closed off and so void of emotions."

Tears stung my eyes at his words and the tender expression in his eyes. He knew what I was going to say next with the way his eyes fell to the ground between us. He knew and he wasn't going to stop me no matter how much it would hurt him. That was what I would always cherish about him; he cared enough about me to know that he would have to go through the pain of being without me for me to be happy.

"I didn't want it to be this way," I cried, tears running down my cheeks that would otherwise look likes ones of joy at a moment like this. "But we..."

"I know, Naomi. You don't have to say it...just know I enjoyed the year I got to spend with you. You changed my life forever."

One last time, I let myself fall into his embrace; his smell, his feel, his voice all pulling me even farther into him when I knew I had to let go. While I was letting go of Dante now, I would never forget what he had taught me and what this relationship had taught me.

I was letting go of a year with Dante, such a small time in the grand scheme of life, but I knew he would be with me forever.

THE END

a/n: don't kill me ya'll!!! i know this is not the end that many of you were expecting, especially with how much time was skipped and how many unanswered questions you still have, but that's why there will be a sequel!!!

i've already started writing the sequel and i hope to have that posted within the next week so keep an eye out on updates here and on my board for when that's published

many of you know that i hated this book towards the end and i think that's because i lost track of how i wanted my plot to go, so i promise to fix that in the sequel

thank you all SO SO SO MUCH for following me on the journey of writing my second book and i hope you enjoyed Naomi and Dante's dysfunctional story...but this is not the end